Am I being selfish?

Ok, I am looking for independent advice as this is totally stressing me out and I figure if anyone can help me make a decision, it'll be my fellow b2bs and former b2bs:

So, I recently got engaged image and planning to get married late next year but I'm stuck on the very first decision: where to have the wedding? :\?

I'm Nigerian but left Nigeria when I was lyk 10yrs old and have basically grown up in the fiance is also Nigerian, but happens to live in South Africa.

Now, I want to get married in the UK because this is where I've grown up and all my friends and immediate family are based here........H2B wants to get married in Nigeria because that's where all his family is (friends are scattered because he's lived in South Africa/US for the past couple of years)

His point is that there's the issue of ppl flying over and getting visas etc but I don't see this as a particularly big problem because ppl fly in for weddings ALL the time!! Am I wrong? :\?

I really want to get married in the UK for lots of reasons but main ones include I want to be able to control numbers (I really don't want 1000ppl who I don't know on my special day), I don't want to have to worry about there being power/generators and then there's the security issue (i.e. armed robbers) - also to top it off, I'm planning to move to Nigeria permanently with him once we are married, so I think having my wedding in the UK would be a perfect way to end my time in the UK and say goodbye to my friends/family etc

What do you think? Am I justified in wanting to have my wedding at home? Or should I just be pragmatic, forsake my dream wedding and put my h2b's wishes first? (you can tell how I feel about this option :cryimage

Please help image


  • KayaukKayauk Posts: 170
    I understand where you are coming I was in a similar predicament.

    Why not divide it into three, why don;t you have a traditional one in Nigeria and do the white one here and have a wedding party in South Africa.

    My friend's hubby is South African and because he was not british they could not have the wedding here they had to have it in his country ogf origin, I am not sure if that apllies to you situation, look at the options and do not stress yourself.

    [Modified by: Kaya1 on September 12, 2008 11:49 AM]

  • I am UK and my H2B is South African and we are also having 2 events - a small wedding in South Africa and then a blessing and reception in the Uk. Also means that you get to wear your dress twice. It would have been more difficult for H2B get married in the UK then it s or me to get married in RSA, so that i swhy we have done it this way around. Am really looking forward to both our days - even though it isn`t what I would have originally planned but H2B is moving to UK so seemed unfair to not compromise. Hope it works out for you. xx
  • Hey Kaya1

    That's a really good idea and would make a good compromise - that way both sides of the atlantic get to celebrate with us - thanks - im going to look into that, thanks image

    What was your situation?

  • Thanks cjp2008

    I know some sort of compromise is required and I want everyone to be happy as much as poss - yours seems like a good one and SA is such a beautiful country - I would love to get married in Cape Town but unfortuately I don't think that would fly with either family given that neither of us have family in SA.

    Where in SA are you getting married? I used to live in Joburg but am a Cape Town convert image
  • KayaukKayauk Posts: 170
    h2b is Nigerian most of his relatives live there, My parents originate from Ghana but I am british born and bread. I am happy I could help when are getting wed?
  • so are u doing the trad in ghana/nigeria and then gettin married here?

    dats the thing - cnt really set a date until we decide on a venue bt given that one needs to pick a venue like a yr in advance here - it'll be end of next year (cross fingers) - what abt u? hw are preparations going?
  • KayaukKayauk Posts: 170
    u can set a date first then look for a venue then you have something to work towards. we are doing the trad in london and then considering doing the white back home where the sunshine is guarenteed, I was in Nigeria in the summer where are you gona have your trad in Nigeria
  • yeah - that's one thing abt west africa - weather is always trad would prob be in ondo state, which is where im from - it's in the south

  • KayaukKayauk Posts: 170
    ok you better get to the drawing board you have got so much planning to do. Do you know any good taylors for my outfit
  • hey kaya1

    unfortunately i don't know any tailors here - anything sewn is always sent from nigeria.....have you checked with uchewally - she recently got married and is a wealth of information ......sorry i cudnt be of more help :-/

  • GarrymcGarrymc Posts: 305
    got some more this week off my girlfriends

    Haji's Designers, 145A Deptford High Street, London SE8 3NU 02084693638 07956546932

    07946721598 Pat in Peckham

    07931632383 Ndidi in Croydon

    Try 07947944296 His name is Brother Matthew (yes, a HE!!! he's amazing, don't be put off just cos he's a guy).

    he's in leytonstone

    Good luck!!!

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