marriage preparation courses

Has anyone been on the marriage preparation course, I think its for religious ceremonies, im not religious but my partner is slightly as he wants to get married in a church we had to do this course. However I was surprised at how good the course was it really makes you and your partner THINK. anyone one else been on one? what did you make of it?

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  • natasha_uk25natasha_uk25 Posts: 2,253
    we haven't been on ours yet, ours is in may. aparently its supposed to be good.



    what sort of stuff did they ask you?
  • Me and h2b started a course in his church, it was really great it helps you think through and TALK through so many issues! Unfortunatly I had to go back to this cold end of the earth when we had only had 2 sessions, they were willing to give 12, all up to us. Hoping to do at least a couple more over phone- don't know if it'll work as well though!



    But really, really think its a good idea for anyone! (just saw my parents reading a book on relationships, and they've been married for 30 years, so who are we young ones to think we know it all??)
  • ronab2ronab2 Posts: 34
    I thought it would be quite boring with the priest giving most of the talk but ours was basically a few couples who had been together for about 40 years, talking about various issues, I think it was really good for my partner because they talked about alot of things women tend to nag about, coming home late, going to the pub with there mates! etc and how it makes your partner feel, they also gave us questions to answer with our partner so it forces you to talk about things u usually wouldn't.
  • Hi girls, had a discussion with h2b yesterday, it was really intersting but didn't really agree, or rather it revealed some areas where we have VERY different opinions. Thought it would fit in in this topic of marriage preparation courses...



    Thing is, i grew up in Norway, he in uganda. If you read the surveys on women emancipation which are released each year, you'll find norway among the top three and uganda somewhere on the bottom. That really isn't the point though, just to explain that we've learnt some very different values and attitudes as we've grown up. We're both personal christians, so we're really agreeing on the major issues in life.



    But... when it comes to some things like role of husband and wife, things get a bit complicated. He's more traditional, with husband as head of the home and wife as helper, which is ok as long as the husband is reasonable, but somehow i'm finding it hard to really accept. have realized that as we grew up, i learnt to always give reasons for whatever i did, and as long as the reasons were ok, the conclusion would be accepted. While h2b learnt to obey; parents, teachers, elders generally. so now im realizing i have an awfully hard time obeying anyone unless i agree with them, while h2b finds it easy, and naturally feels i should be able to do it once in a while too... Don't know if this makes sense to any of you? Well so far the discussion is very civil and incredibly interesting, but somehow am scared that when real life sets in it might bring som trouble... we've not lived together, and also been apart for months at a go, and other times been together every day from before breakfast til after supper! so feel we know each other quite well, but living together as married will definately be different!



    Just a bit confused, thought i would write it out, and maybe any of you have some ideas or experiences to share???
  • natasha_uk25natasha_uk25 Posts: 2,253
    well the thing is a lot of black families are raised this way, especially african families you are to respect your elders and do as you are told no questions asked, but it is because you have to believe that what they are asking of you is for the best as they are older wiser and more senior.



    not sure if that makes any sense to you?



    its all about respect etc i think you'll get used to it, its just like if his parents come to visit you have to do as your told, otherwise it can be seen as disrespectful, but it all depends how you feel about that????
  • Yea, it makes sense, sweetnsassy! Just wrote a reply and somehow it got lost... But thanks!



    As you said its all about respect, which is actually good. Have been philosophing (or whatever its called), and thinking that at the rate of divorce in this part of the world, its good to be humble for other cultures, and i do think when it comes to relationships, be it in marriage or just generally, there's a lot to learn from african culture!
  • natasha_uk25natasha_uk25 Posts: 2,253
    yeah there is a lot to learn, i mean from most of the african friends and families i know they are great to their parents and show them the uttmost respect and to be honest you could do alot worse than that............



    but its all about a little give and take xx
  • blaquenessblaqueness Posts: 105
    yes it is definately about respect with African families my family are from Ghana and h2b are as well so although we were born and brought here we have still been raised within African principles.

    Trust me it is a big annoying some times but hey that is just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes
  • lmcarrelmcarre Posts: 64
    Me and H2B have to go to a marriage prep course in May but ours is only a one day session (catholic church). My friend got married last year at the same church and she said that they had to do things like draw a pig and how you drew different parts of the pig meant different things. Apparently how you drew the tail related to your sex life!!



  • We sat with 12 other couples and had to discuss our relationship. I found it intrusive and a bit too personal to discuss with starngers. Although I can't believe how many couples had either not discussed if they want a family or not or even when. Your getting married for christ sake you should have at least had this conversation!



    Then the 3rd week and last we had a priest give us course on how to start a family. Yes that's right a priest giving us sex education classes. The whole room was mortified.
  • LOL- your course sounds rather terrifying, lucyturner! more like scinece classes at school, with a flushing teacher trying to explain how babies are made, and all of us know it all already!!



    I don't think they should make couples to answer questions in front of everybody, its all about the two of you! and how on earth do you get married without even discussing if or when to start a family???
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