Cross cultural?

Hi all, am not african or caribbean, but norwegian getting married to ugandan in uganda, so that's why i' lurking around in this forumimage



Just wondering whether there are any of you also getting married to someone from different place and culture? How are you 'marrying' the different traditions? Which areas do you feel cultural differences are more pronounced, and how do you go about them?



Like for us, a norwegian wedding normally has between 50 and 100 guests (a wedding with 100 ppl is considered BIIIIIG!!), while my in-laws would prefer 300-400!!!! Good enough h2b and I both want it small, so have now settled on 200image



Am hoping we'll be able to mix the best of the two worlds and make it a day no-one will forget! Any experiences on how to do that??
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  • Jubilee77Jubilee77 Posts: 2,213
    I am black british marryinga half scottish half irish dude so my main concern is to stop both his halves from killing each other!
  • srlsrl Posts: 19
    Hi I am black british marrying a Plymouthian guy. We have settled on getting married at Gretna Green with only our parents and son present in August, We are planning to have a party to celebrate our marriage when we return, so all friends and family can share our joy. We can only hope that all will go well!
  • natasha_uk25natasha_uk25 Posts: 2,253
    hi



    i'm mixed race marrying a white guy from lancaster.



    Not really an issue as we live in london but when we went to visit his family i was the only ethnic in town! lol



    xx
  • susanamos80susanamos80 Posts: 131
    Hi



    I am white from Norwich and my H2B is Black British. We have been very lucky - both sides of the family have been great and we have had no problems at all!



    But same here - we live in London but my H2B used to conspicuous when he first went to Norwich but now he doesn't let it bother him since the birth of our son!



    Sue
  • Hi,



    We're also been lucky with supportive families, especially since us marrying means one of us leaving home really far many parents would not be supportive!



    Well its really great, my niece who's two years was first scared to see a black person, but now she is happily announcing all black men she sees to be my fiance- lol!
  • natasha_uk25natasha_uk25 Posts: 2,253
    lol aww bless her that so funny and sweet.
  • AndipinkAndipink Posts: 657
    My h2b is English/Irish white and I'm black British. My biggest problem will probably be the DJ as we'll need a mix of pop, soul and calypso!! We both come from from the same area which prorbaly helps. Obviously there are some cultural differences but we meet in between. Our wedding will be slightly Bajan-themed as we got engaged out there.



    My family really took to my h2b and his family to me too. We're quite lucky really.
  • -kia--kia- Posts: 745
    Quoted:
    hi



    i'm mixed race marrying a white guy from lancaster.



    Not really an issue as we live in london but when we went to visit his family i was the only ethnic in town! lol



    xx


    lol thats fairly true of lancaster...although there are more nowadays...honest!
  • AndipinkAndipink Posts: 657
    My mixed race mate married a white guy from Cornwall and she is like a celeb when they go down there - everybody knows her and says hello!!
  • natasha_uk25natasha_uk25 Posts: 2,253
    Quoted:
    My mixed race mate married a white guy from Cornwall and she is like a celeb when they go down there - everybody knows her and says hello!!


    lol thats funny! Means she can't get drunk and disorderly because everyone will know it was her lol!
  • natasha_uk25natasha_uk25 Posts: 2,253



    lol thats fairly true of lancaster...although there are more nowadays...honest!



    really? you sure lol i don't believe it! i will be on the lookout next time we go there lol,



    last time we was there i went in the chemist and this little girl was just stood there staring at me she was



    about 11, lol and her mum was like stop it but she couldn't she kept staring even when she left the shop lol
  • -kia--kia- Posts: 745
    Honestly..its true!

    I see quite a lot of people through work of all races - although it is still about 99% white!



    Not as bad as when I was at high school and there were 2 black girls at my school and thats it. Everyone else was white.



    Incidently..is it more pc nowadays to say ethnic or black or what?
  • natasha_uk25natasha_uk25 Posts: 2,253
    lol well i say ethnic but no one likes it lol. i think its better to just say black
  • -kia--kia- Posts: 745
    I do too - it keeps things simple and I'm jsut a simple girl! I lived in new guinea as a kid and it was simple then - you were either black or white, or in the case of my parents friends kids - it was half caste then rather than mixed race which sounds so much nicer and those kids had the most beautiful brown eyes ever!
  • Hi all, I was visiting my sisters in-laws in london, and felt like the only white person around! So that's my impression of the UK lol! Well am used to it spent three or so years in uganda, everyone even grown ups kept staring and wanting to touch my skin and hair. Well got used to it rather fast so was no problem, everybody was friendly so nothing bad. Really boosted self-esteem, everybody admiring my hair-lol!



    think its ok to say black and white. not sure about our kids (who are hopefully coming before next year ends....)... everyone in uganda says half cast, sounds strange to me, but in norway ppl call them 'mulatt' which sounds really bad, not sure. i would more like them to be called chocolate kids, as i love chocolate and am sure our kids are gonna be even more sweet than real choclate!!!
  • natasha_uk25natasha_uk25 Posts: 2,253
    i am mixed race and i hate being called half-caste its sooooo shit!! Sounds crass!
  • -kia--kia- Posts: 745
    Half caste has always sounded dated and derogetary to me. Mixed race sounds so much nicer
  • natasha_uk25natasha_uk25 Posts: 2,253
    indeed!
  • Jubilee77Jubilee77 Posts: 2,213
    Quoted:
    My h2b is English/Irish white and I'm black British. My biggest problem will probably be the DJ as we'll need a mix of pop, soul and calypso!! We both come from from the same area which prorbaly helps. Obviously there are some cultural differences but we meet in between. Our wedding will be slightly Bajan-themed as we got engaged out there.



    My family really took to my h2b and his family to me too. We're quite lucky really.


    Wo yoy!!!! My dad is from barbados, although I have never been and am a londoner thru and thru so am extremely british brought up.



    We are having a band play a mix of mowtown & older lassics like mustang sally etc to get the crowd goign and also having the dj play r'n'b pop stuff.



    I want to get everyone having a laugh and enjoying themsleves, i don't want it to feel like a rave or something with everyones face all push up and stuff. I am trying to to play too much stuff that only a few people will know, so sticking with the old kevin little, Sean paul atuff cos I know all the guests will be familiar with it.
  • reetsmorganreetsmorgan Posts: 514
    I am black british H2b also black Jamican, I agree that black/white makes life so much easier/simple, all the folk who want to be PC are usually white and have never ever consulted the people they are trying to defend !!!!

    I think mixed race sounds better too (seeing as its the UK's fastest growing racial group), half caste has a derogatory feel to it.



    BUT best of all I like Bill & June (or who ever) and leave the colour out of it. I mean its evident.

    X

  • AndipinkAndipink Posts: 657
    Lol Pinkbambi, I don't want to see the push-up faces either if the music is not to everyone's liking!! Your idea of a band doing classics followed by the r'n'b dj is a good one and I might look into that myself. Or maybe, just play a Beyonce medley all night long!!
  • natasha_uk25natasha_uk25 Posts: 2,253
    bambi i'm with you on the music front, its funny really because all my white friends we're brought up in east london, so they know how to shake their booty lol, it's mainly his family we're worried about, because if they exoecting elvis or sinatra all night it aint gonna happen lol



    like you we're having a good old mix up of tunes.
  • Yea, its rather evident! quite funny that we always seem to need to put people in categories, black, white, mixed race or whatever it is... But i think the more people mix, the less such labels will be used... at least i hope so!
  • leannesiuleannesiu Posts: 124

    I'm Chinese and my h2b is Greek, so our wedding will be a fusion of oriental/meditarrean - an unusual mix, and alot of people are already curious to see how we can pull it off seeing as weddings are BIG in both cultures.



    I think cross cultural weddings are great, being in London I have been to a few, mostly Chinese/English. A couple I am good friends with is English/Ugandan, they had a gorgeous baby boy last year. Thats the thing I love about being cross-cultural - your bound to have amazingly good-looking kids!! :\)
  • -kia--kia- Posts: 745
    Quoted:
    Yea, its rather evident! quite funny that we always seem to need to put people in categories, black, white, mixed race or whatever it is... But i think the more people mix, the less such labels will be used... at least i hope so!


    I hope so too. I lived in new guinea from when I was about 2 1/2 to when I was 5, and there the white kids were in the minority. At that age I don't think I even noticed the difference in skin colour.



    When we came back to England, I just could never understand why people were racist and why it mattered what colour you were or what religion etc.. used to really confuse me.



  • BooWantsBabyBooWantsBaby Posts: 1,738
    I'm black british and my h2b is white...but getting married in Jamaica.

    We really couldn't decide on the music, in the end we have decided on having our 1st dance, then have the steel band, and saxophonist keeping the music going.. hopefully there won't be too many problems with that... but its hard to please everyone.. image
  • Hi maz, yea its quite hard to please everyone! I'm trying to tell my mum to just relax and enjoy whatever happens, as the wedding is in uganda and so most of the planning is done from there!



    Somehow am worried that my relatives will feel out of place, especially those over 40! and especially when it comes to the music and dancing, my familiy is poor at dancing even by norwegian standards, so you can imagine...LOL!



    I'm used to both cultures, and really prefer the ugandan one when it comes to partying! Mum saying I should bring in more of the norwegian stuff, but finding it hard when 90% of the guests will be ugandans, and i've stayed there long enough to forsee that some of the things norwegians like would not be understood at all... and vice versa of course.



    Interesting though, and i think they'll love it when they actually are there!
  • My H2B is mixed race and I'm Black Caribbean / British so I suppose I'm o=also having a cross cultural wedding in theory. H2B however is more "black" than me at times!!! Both of our families are from St Lucia and are quite close already so that's a bonus. Don't think we'll have too much of a problem with music and themes for the wedding (we're having a Caribbean style wedding in London and a blessing in St Lucia) but on a slightly separate note, did anyone have experience any problems from family and friends when getting together with H2B? I wouldn't expect so in this day and age.

    I didn't have problems as my family already knew H2B and his family well, but I was slightly worried to begin with as I had never been in a relationship with a mixed race person before.......... Any views?
  • I think some families and especially parents sometimes are negative just because they don't know the person, but when they get to know him/her the attitude changes. My parents were really ok with it from the start, they were only worried that me getting married to someone from uganda would mean that i'll live very far from them! And his mother felt the same way, which of course is natural, most parents want the children to stay not very far from them!



    Of course there are potential problems in a cross cultural marriage which may be different from a marriage between two people from same culture, but then there are some advantages also, especially if the two of you manage to take the best from the two worlds!



    Like DiamondBride i was slightly worried, but at my parents were really positive, i think they realized i was happier than ever! It took longer for his mum to accept, but now she's also ok with it.
  • reetsmorganreetsmorgan Posts: 514
    Ladies

    it is so refreshing to hear everyone mixing together. wishing you all well with your plans and future.
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