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Non Nigerian bride having a traditional Nigerian reception

Hi to all,

I am mixed Grenadian/Jamaican but my fiance is Nigerian and my mother-in-law to be is set on having a traditional Nigerian reception of which I do not know much about. When I do enquire she answers huriddly and I'm not really grasping the whole thing.

I have been told that I need to chose my colours for Asoke and my 3 lace dresses as well as my bridesmaids, and the family lace. When I suggested colours I was told that each lace need 2 or 3 colours at least and have no idea how to create a colour scheme out of so much colour. - Can anyone direct me to website where I may be able to see examples??:\?



  • Hi Ailee,

    I think you could suggest to your in laws that your own lace might be multicoloured with a matching aso-oke. The others can choose plain coloured laces from your own colours. I'll suggest you choose any lace you really like the combination and then take it from there. I hope this helps. I really understand your plight cos im a Nigerian but my traditional marriage will be low keyed but a massive white wedding. If i come across any website with such attires, i'll pass it on to you.

  • AileeAilee Posts: 52
    Hey Amakeno,

    I think I really need to see examples of lace to understand it all. Mother-in-law has mentioned that there is a lace shop in Mitcham so I may go there so that I can see different colour combinations. I like the idea of everyone else chosing a plain lace from the colours in my lace that sound lovely, thank you.

  • Hi Ailee,

    I can definitely help you! I am in the same situation as you but my mother in law has explained everything to me (plus there is the info i have picked up over the years). I have chosen 2 colours for the colour scheme (pink and green) for the wedding and eveything is based around this. So she will use these colours for the aso-oke and lace for everyone else to wear. She is going to chose and sort this.

    I am using the green colour for the BMs, then in the evening when my friends change from their day western dress into traditional, the outfits will also be pink/green or a mix of the 2 colours.

    She then told me to pick another colour scheme that only me and my h2b will wear in the evening when we change out of our wedding clothes into traditional - so I have chosen pale blue and silver for the lace, the aso-oke will be dark blue and silver.

    I hope this helps a bit. Pls ask me if you have any questions hopefully I will be able to help you understand the traditions and what to expect from an outside perspective. Our wedding is mixed (I am english he is nigerian) but the evening and parts of the reception will definitely have more of a nigerian slant.
  • Ailee, i think it's a great idea going to the shops to see for yourself. But try to ask them for Swiss laces as they are of more superior quality to the ordinary ones. I saw this website that might give you a rough idea of how they are matched .Not a lot in it though

    Well done so far girls, start preparing your dancing shoes for Nigerian music. Goodluck to you both in your preparations. I'll be here if you need to know anything else about Nigerian traditional marriage.
  • Hi Amakeno - thanks for your advice - I'm sure I'll pop up here again to ask a question! Ailee, I just wanted to let you know that for my traditional outfit, I am actually making a fishtail strapless gown in the lace, rather than wearing the traditional wrap skirt and blouse (iro and buba). Although my MIL wants me to wear it, I don't want to take off my beautiful wedding dress and put on a blouse and skirt, so I am getting a dress maker friend to make me another beautiful dress, but using the lace we have chosen. I will wear the gele and shawl (don't know the name sorry!) but I want to still feel glam and weddingy in my evening gown. Not sure if you have considered this too? I love the fact that I have 2 beautiful dresses to wear, and I am so excited about the evening part when my h2b abd I will make our entrance in our matching outfits. I love the fact that this symbolises the 2 of you as a couple!
  • HI Ailee,

    I'm Tanzanian and am looking for a Aso-oke outfit but dont know where to start so a Nigerian friend of mine sent me this link which has real life nigerian wedding photos. Just click o the names and another window will open up. Maybe you can get ideas/inspiration.
  • ooops sorry hon i fogot to paste the
  • Hi Ladies,

    If you are trying to decide on lace, your best bet is to go to the liverpool street market (petticoat lane) and just wander through all the shops. Sunday is a good day as all the shops are open. You are bound to find a few laces that you will fall in love with and can then build your colour scheme from there. We are wearing light and dark blue asooke with gold for our traditional engagement.We will change into a rich blue lace halfway thru the evening. My parents will be in deep purple and the rest of the family will wear lilac geles. For the wedding, the family will wear turquoise geles and hubby and i will be in a beautiful purple lace. My lace will be sewn into a corset and fishtail skirt as i find the style most flattering on me and it will be the opposite from the huge skirt of my wedding dress (i'm trying to keep the theme of both days along the lines of blues and purples)
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