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My Dress Dilemma

Went yesterday to try on my dress again before the first fitting and have run into a major problem.....I don't love it anymore!!!!! :\( I mean, It is a lovely dress, no doubt about that, but when i put it on, i felt 'nice'...only nice. I want to feel 'WOW' and it just doesn't seem to do it for me. And to complicate matters, i seem to have put on weight instead of losing any and i'm so depressed at the mo.... I don't know if this is just me being unsettled and if i do lose some weight, it will probably look stunning again, but if i'm gaining, instead of losing, what will i do if i still look like a beached whale a month before the wedding??!!!image

I've already paid for it all upfront, and i know the store won't give me my money back, so my only choices are to (1) lose at least a dress size in a month and hope i like what i see or (2) try and sell the dress to get some of my money back to buy another gown.

My budget is so tight at the mo, that i can't justify buying a second backup dress just in case. I really don't know what to do.....

any ideas?


  • koolbridekoolbride Posts: 85
    I felt the same way about my dress, so i have decided to change in the evening into an african attire.

    However i have recently tried my wedding dress on with my tiara, veil and accessories and it looks stunning.

    Try yours on with accessories and see how it looks. You only have a month, i don't think you have time to buy another gown, it may be easier to try and drop a dress size (easier said than done).

    Try not to stress, i'm sure you look wow in your dress.
  • Thanks Koolbride, i'm a bit calmer that this morning and i guess its not really the end of the world. I took all my accessories along to the fitting. The veil and shoes matched the dress perfectly but the tiara and string of pearls are the wrong tones for the dress, so i would need to change those anyway. My wedding is in september so i guess i have about 2-3 weeks to find another dress, otherwise it will have to be fruit smoothies and carrot sticks all the way! I'm gonna try and book as many dress appointments as i can in the next week or so and see how it goes! And just like you, i'm changing into a trad outfit for the evening so i guess if i still really don't like it, then i can just get changed earlier...
    Hey, just wanted to say I'm sure the dress is fine, i know when I first saw my dress i liked it as it was exactly what i wanted but it wasn't like i loved it, i mean i loved it but not REALLY LOVED. It was only after i wore it with my jewellery my hair all done and make up and then i thought okay this IS a nice dress.

    I got compliments all day and when i saw the pictures, i thought WOW!

    I'm sure when you get back to your normal size you will be fine with it, if not then try not to spend too much on a new dress in case you're not able to make most of your money back from the first dress.

    Have you tried that's where I got my dress from, i have to say i wasn't impressed with the dres when i saw it on the model though so try and go in cos the dresses look different in reality especially when you have it on.

    good luck babe
  • Ok, crisis over! I went out on saturday and bought another dress!!!! This one is gorgeous and definately has the wow-factor and i'm soooooo relieved. All i need to do now is sell my initial dress. Quite a spontaneous and impulsive move but i must say, one that has brought a wide smile to my face! Have a great week ladies xx
  • EmberukEmberuk Posts: 117
    Ayo, my september buddy, how are u?

    Sooooo you brought another dress!!!!!!! Im sure the first one was nice. What was the old one like and how is the new one? I felt like changing not too long ago but have stemmed my indescision by not looking at anymore dresses. How is planning going...and when are you sending invites out. I need you to keep me up to date lol x
  • Hey Ember!!! Long time no hear! How you doing girl image It's funny how the time is flying by...we only have 123 days to go. Aren't you excited?

    Yeah...i succumbed to my inner demons and bought a new dress. The first one is still a stunning dress, just i didn't feel stunning in it. But this second one looks really good on me and i had all the other 'brides to be' oogling the dress out of the corners of their eyes and queuing up to try it on after me. (it didn't look quite the same on them tho) Isn't it funny how exactly the same dress can look sooo different on different people? I hadn't even looked twice at another dress since i bought the first one, but i'm so glad i tried it on again last week. At least now i know it's not the one for me and only just have enough time to order the new one. You won't believe the new dress will be arriving only 3 weeks before the wedding!!! Thank God its a perfect fit otherwise i wouldn't have been brave enough to buy it. I've uploaded the pics of both dresses onto my photobox page. The caprice is my old dress and the other one is my new dress.

    Anyway, enough about dresses! LOL

    Re: Invites. I just sent a batch of invites to Nigeria yesterday and the ones going to Europe and America are going in the post next week. I'm sending out the UK ones at the beginning of June. Oh i forgot to upload a pic of the IVs... Will try to put it up on photobox tonight. I'm still struggling with guest numbers but i figure there isn't much more i can do till i start receiving rsvps back.

    I've finally chosen a DJ for the reception. He's called DJSose and plays a good mix of Naija jams, bashment, rnb etc so that ticks all the boxes. I've talked my cousin into djing at the trad wedding, so saved myself a few bob!

    I've decided to switch caterers...another last minute change, i know. Mama Calabar's food and package is still one of the best i've tried but i have been unable to find a suitable caribbean caterer to handle the other side of the menu and rather than dealing with 2 caterers i'm now thinking of going with Favour Catering coz they have a menu with everything on. I'm going for a taster and consultation this week so hopefully that too can be booked and crossed off the list.

    Oh, we've also booked our honeymoon this week. Going to Antigua the week after the wedding for 10 days. So excited!! We've got our own cottage and a private plunge pool with views straight out over the sea... I can't wait. Where are you going for yours? What have you booked so far? What's still left to book? We still need to sort out cars, cake and....there is something else, but i can't remember it at the mo. Good luck with everything. It's so nice to have a wedding-date-buddy!!
  • EmberukEmberuk Posts: 117
    Ayo...firstly, your dress is stunning!!!! It def has the wow factor over the caprice dress. We must have similar taste coz its similar to mine!!

    We too have booked Nigel for that day... Im wondering if he is planning on doing both events????? AND I had planned to use DJ Sose originally but then h2b was recommended someone and he just went ahead and booked him!!! Our paths keep crossing.....

    Wrt the invites, I haven't even finished making the them yet....I am soooo behind. Did you use your monogram in the end? I tried but it really didnt work.You may have to give me master class lol!!!

    Its getting close now so I'm starting the diet on 1st June.... or 3rd... after Mary J concert+ dinner!!! Need to lose about a stone so I need to be serious. What else... got the cake and lace for trad wedding..just need sum stunning lace for the evening spraying session. Also picked up the table number holders you recommended on earlier thread. Hope your well and have a good week date-buddy x

    P.s Are you having any trad dancers????
  • Wow, similar dresses too? This must be fate image You would think with all the different suppliers in this huge city we would end up with different people but everyone seems to be using the same set... Yeah I spoke with Victoria and at first she said they wouldn't be available, but when i said i only needed food and service without the additional trimmings (plates, glassware, etc) she said they would be able to do it. I guess since they are a well-established company, they probably have two or more catering teams? Anyway, I don't think she would agree if she couldn't handle it.

    With DJSose, i found his style quite fresh and he's actually quite a nice guy (cute too!) lol!!!

    I didn't use the monogram for the invites. I'm thinking of using it on the tableplan, table numbers and maybe the thank-you cards. Kinda the idea that it will 'come into being' after the ceremony....i guess. Also i didn't have the time to finish tweaking it before i had to crack on with making the invites. How many are you making? If you are doing about 100, you should be able to get them done within a week, as long as your design isn't too complicated. If you give me your initials, i could have a go at designing a monogram for you and see if you like it?

    I have now started my diet. I'm having a fruit smoothie for breakfast and lunch and then whatever i want for dinner, as long as its a small portion. Also i'm doing 2 aerobic classes at the gym and am trying to squeeze in 2 days of swimming laps as well. (guess that means my hair will be curly all summmer!) I find i'm enjoying this diet so much better than the others i've tried and those smoothies are soooo filling ( i blend some oats in with the fruit to make it filling and also an energy boost powder to keep energy levels up) Yum yum. Only hitch might be that i'm going to Vegas next week for a week and that might throw my routine off. Planning to swim for an hour everyday tho so might not be too disruptive.

    I would love to have trad dancers but unfortunately i have overspent in so many areas of my budget that i might not be able to squeeze them in. Also was planning to have some fancy wall lighting but that too might have to go image How much are yours costing you?
  • EmberukEmberuk Posts: 117
    Hey Ayo, my email is [email protected], so you can contact me directly.

    Re: DJ Sose....Thats what I was thinking....image LOL... Enjoy!!!

    I think Nigel will attend our reception cos we need all the plates, cutlery etc to be organised. How are you managing to do this without them, i mean will you hire the plates etc. yourself and send them back after the wedding??? You must be some seriously organised girl!!!!! Invites are quite straight forward, just pocket folds so Im going to have to get inserts printed and cut to size. I ordered the the pockets from US and got the ribbon from confetti. I will start on them after I finish my project (uni). You seem to be doing well on the excercise front, well done. I like that idea of adding oats to the smoothie hmmmm. Onken do something similar. Its a yoghurt with wholegrain pieces which I love. I defo need to start the excercise. Lucky you going to Vegas... is that an early hen party. Let us know how you get on. I bet you enjoy yourself. Now, Im not just saying this but I too am contemplating between some extra lighting or dancers. I went to DC 2 wks ago and there was a wedding on. They put lighting up against the pillars, giving the reception area a different feel by the evening. It looked lovely. I have a few no. if your looking, but Im still ringing round for the best quote. Oh and lastly, what are you having on your menu? Have you been to any Favour food tastings yet? Mine will prob be trad food with curry goat, jerk chicken etc. but Im thinking of having something for vegetarians too. Any suggestions?? Are you bringing any food yourself apart from the wedding cake? Im wanting a freshly made fruit gateau (sp) from the Cake Shop but Im not sure Nigel will allow it. Health and safety issue image

    Enquired about dancers and they were £500...think I may have to pass, oh well. Have a nice evening x
  • Hey Ember,

    Our venue includes plates, cutlery etc in our hire charge so all we need is waiters and chafing dishes.

    For your invites, have you checked out ? They do inserts for pocketfold invitations in all different colours and the card is quite good quality and they can print your text as well.

    I love those onken yoghurt pots, especially the wholegrain strawberry one! Used to have them for lunch all the time but now trying to recreate it myself, minus the sugar and colouring. The energy boost powder is from It is tasteless and all you need is a spoonful to keep you going most of the day.

    I'm going to a Favour tasting on Sunday and hopefully we'll like it all. My Menu is:

    Appetizers- Chin-Chin, Assorted Jamaican Patties

    Accompaniments- Jollof Rice, Rice & Peas, Macaroni Cheese, Moi-Moi, Fried Plantain

    Mains- Caribbean Jerk Chicken, Assorted Stewed & Garnished Meat, Fried Fish garnished with red pepper and onions, Traditional Caribbean Lamb Curry, Roti

    Salads- Tomato & Cucumber Salad with Chive Vinaigrette, Naija Salad

    If you are looking for vegetarian options, you have macaroni cheese, moi-moi, dhal, lentils, and of course the rice dishes and salads. I haven't discussed in detail with her, but I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be able to bring any additional dishes (the whole health & safety malarkey) But you should be able to bring the fruit gateaux coz the Cake Shop would have their own cover. Would that be in addition to another wedding cake?

    I have already hired a chocolate fountain (actually 3!) and that will probably be set up near the cake.

    The venue have a company that they use for the lighting and that quote was around £800. I would have to check if they would allow another company to come in. It is quite a chuck of money but I'm sure the look would be amazing. I haven't actually been to an event with the lighting, only seen pictures. If you could forward those no.s to me, that would be great ?????? £500 for dancers? My budget only goes to about £250 so I guess I would have to scratch that out, unless some pot of gold drops off a rainbow!

    I'm going to Vegas for part work/ part play. Some of my old school friends will be linking up with me there and it might turn into a mini reunion! Quite looking forward to it now actually. It will be the last time I travel with my maiden name!!

    Good luck on the project-front. What course are you studying again?

    (oh, i tried to email you, but it bounced back for some reason)

    my email is [email protected]

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