Will his Hindu family and my Christian family get on??!!

Hi girls!

It's just 3 months til our wedding. H2b and I are having a small island wedding and I can't wait. There's just one little niggle - I'm a bit worried about how our two polar opposite families will get on...! As my family are in Australia, although we've been together forever our families have never met each other and will for the first time at the wedding!!

We couldn't be more different!! His family are Jain, vegetarian, + huuuuuge (about 60% of the guests will be his extended family). The five members of my family are Christian, meat lovers and very much nuclear! To top it all off, my brother's job is to trade in beef sales!! I am terrified that they just won't get each other and won't mix at all. We are doing both an Indian ceremony and a Christian ceremony and I have visions of his big family, and my tiny one sitting on opposite sides of the room, like 12 year old boys and girls at a party...

If anyone has been thru this before and has any good tips, they'd be really, really welcome!!


  • Hi again

    In case you're reading this, I just wanted to say 'thanks' to the very sweet person who replied to this (but I received it via email, not here). Oddly, it makes me feel heaps better to know that other people are in a similar situation. I liked your idea of taking the two families out to dinner and will see if I can find an opportunity to do this. Also, my fiance has suggested that we talk to our respective parents about this so that they can understand our feelings & help us find ways to get everyone together. I just don't want the two of us to be stressed out trying to get them all to 'gel' - we're on the island together for a week!!!

  • anahiscanahisc Posts: 166

    I might be in a similar ordeal. I am a fervient meat eater raised as catholic (not much a believer nowadays) and Mexican, but h2b is strict vegetarian (as his family) and hindu. I have thought a lot abt how the 2 families will get along but I think it will be difficult since my family doesn't speak English.

    I would suggest a dinner out before the wedding like you say and leave it there.

    I am sure they understand why you eat meat and see no harm in your brother being is the food industry. It's not like you are having a roast hog, are you? At least my in-laws have been ok with this.

    If you want to have a chat abt the differences and all, you can just drop me an email. Good luck.

  • Don't take them out for a meal together! A table full of meat in front of the religious veggies is hardly a sensitive move is it!
  • Sorry to hijack the thread but Mrstwo bee-I've just noticed how many posts you have made in such a short space of time! I thought I'd been busy! lol. When's your date? Mines 6/Nov. Are you nervous or more excited?

    To Anikna, maybe the meal idea isn't such a good one unless you can get all the meat eaters to be tactful with regards to what food they order for te day. The veggies in the family may be okay with it and understand that other people do things differently as Anahisc says but I'm not sure if you want to risk it. Maybe a more informal get together would work-bowling is always good for a laugh and it would be good to put some members from each family on the same teams so they can get to know one another and them it's not just your family vs his! Hope this helps!

  • aniknaanikna Posts: 14
    Thanks again girls

    It's good to get lots of different opinions...

    I don't want my family to have to change or pretend they don't eat meat, but I agree there's a fine line between flaunting and respecting the differences. Maybe a coffee or a drink is the solution then...

    Anyway, I've decided not to stress too much about it - at the end of the day we are getting married, and that's the main thing - I'm sure our families will agree that the reason we're all together is to celebrate, rather than compare.

    We're going vege at all our functions except for the beach lunch we're all having the day after the wedding. On this day we'll serve meat too, but in a separate area. I think his side of the family are okay with that but I think we'll stick to fish and chicken.

    How are you all getting on with your planning? You've all been so helpful to me so I hope I can return the favour if you've any questions or concerns.
  • anahiscanahisc Posts: 166
    I was thinking of a meal in an indian restaurant where even my family would order veggie options. Indian food is quite anovelty for them anyway.

    I do admire that you are going vege on the reception. We are having a meaty main course (though no beef) and their veggie.

    I do suggest a book I just ordered in Amazon. It's called Intercultural marriage, pitfalls and promises and it's great. Also "the bride wore red" a view from an american who married and indian guy.

    Hope your plans are going smoothly.

  • Erm, sorry to sound like a dunce, but with the Hindu religion, do they eat halal meat or just NO meat at all? If it's the halal option, maybe you could go somewhere that caters for that and then your family could still eat meat? (Sorry if I sound really uneducated but I don't know that much around Hinduism.) If they don't eat meat at all, why not take everyone to your house and serve a traditional Hindu banquet? H2b's family will feel appreciated by your hospitality and maybe your family will enjoy it? Just a couple of ideas?
  • anahiscanahisc Posts: 166
    Hi malthouse2b. Jains and some hindus don't eat any meat at all. They have a deep respect for all forms of life. My guy can't even kill a spider. He traps them and throws then out of the house. Halal is a muslim concept.

    Before I met my h2b I also didn't know anything about hinduism. For me India meant: yoga, kamasutra and snake enchanting.
  • HulkkoHulkko Posts: 1,269
    I've been to hundreds of weddings like this I love asian weddings. I think you'll be quite suprised as to how they will bend for each other as to hindu's family is a very important thing and therefor having your family I think will be important to them.
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