Chinese wedding seating arrangements help!

Hi Girls,

I am chinese but marrying a scotsman. Our wedding is going to be mainly western traditions but I wanted to add some chinese traditions too like the tea ceremony. Anyway here is the problem (I was born and raised here and never been to chinese wedding so please excuse my lack of knowledge) -

My parents are quite shy and don't like attention. They don't want a lot of attention on my wedding day. Do chinese weddings make such a big thing of the brides parents as they do here, like the mother of the bride and all that? And the "wedding party"?

The other dilemma is the top table - my dad isn't doing a speech and I thought the top table could be me, H2B, chief bridesmaid and best man, that way the attention wont be on them and my dad's lack of speech will be less of an issue. My parents could then sit with my family and his with his family. I just wondered if in chinese weddings they have such a thing as top table? The reason being if anyone asks it would be nice to say "well chinese traditions dont have the same top tables or any at all so we're incorporating both traditions"?? Does any of that make sense? image

Any help or opinions would be great!


  • mpcaukmpcauk Posts: 864
    Hi Dolly31...congrats and when is the big day?! Very exciting!

    I am Chinese and my husband is English. We got married last summer. So... answering your questions from experience and lots of wedding planning knowledge...

    1. My parents are quite shy people also. For many Chinese weddings alot of the attention is on the grooms side HOWEVER... of course I still think the attention should be equal regardless of traditions.

    2. My father didnt do a speech also. He wouldnt have liked to, he speaks little English and he would have been happier and not get stressed. I chose to do a speech instead! If you do do one... prepare for the emotions!

    3. Our Top Table consisted of me, hubby, all BMs, Best Man and all ushers. Both of our parents hosted their own tables.

    In a Chinese banquet it is normal to have a top table. It is usually a round table instead of long and will be of bride and grooms family.

    I believe nowadays it is personal choice and as it is your wedding... it should be up to you and your h2b.

    I spoke to all both sets of parents first and they preferred our decision... so maybe a good idea to do the same also.

    Hope that helps! xox

  • PotatoPotato Posts: 73
    Hi Dolly, I'm in a similar situation and I think your seating idea is a really good one.

    I highly doubt my dad will want to do a speech even though his english is very good. I also think it would be a far nicer experience for them if they were sat with my family rather than separated on a long table!

    I'm afraid I haven't a clue about chinese tea ceremonies or chinese weddings at all as my aprents are rubbish and didn't teach me about them image
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