Feel like im too big for a wedding dress :(

hiya everyone,

i have jus joined this site today after looking on the net at wedding dress shops and thinking of song ideas!

I am gettin married in August 2013 to the most wonderful man and i am so happy about it but there is one problem i think i am to big to get a wedding dress to fit image

I am a size 20/22 i fit into some primark size 20 dresses n i think they are small sizes(but sometimes in other shop size 22 can be tight!!)...but i am so scared about going shopping with my mum! Mum is wanting to go to a shop in Leeds next month to 'just look' coz at the moment i dont think i can try a dress on! i have put off getting a dress untill january and hopefully me doing Slimming World i would lost a bit of weight by then!

I have so many fears, i fear i am going to walk into a dress shop and all the skinny girls will look at me in disgust that i am big and trying on dresses, i am terrified there will be no dresses there to fit me and i am scaed they will say we cannot order a dress in your size image

Some people will think i am being silly, but this dress issue is over shadowing a day that i no is going to be amazin but i cannot get any of this out of my head!

I dont no what size dresses are normally stocked in shops so if they dnt have any my size how will i try them on? just typing this i am gettin upset and feel like im guna cry! i never want to be skinny its not the person i am but i do want to lose a bit of weight for myself but i am not being unrealistic thinkin i will b a size 14 but August coz it wont happen!

Anyway rant over! all i really want to no is do they stock 'big' sizes in wedding shops, can they order dresses in what ever size?

sorry if anyone thinks im being silly but its something that i cnt really talk to friends about coz most arent married and the 2 that are have lovely figures n nothing to worry about!

look forward to reading some replies

xxxxx

Posts

  • manfawmanfaw Posts: 2,756

    Dont be stressed or scared!

    There are designer ranges in plus sizes now AND there are dress shops that specialise in stocking them and from what other ladies have said on here they are helpful and lovely places to try on dresses!

    No matter what your size you're going to look fabulous!

  • thank u manfaw!

    i am jus so worried about there not bein my size t try on so all the back will b open! mum thinks im being silly coz she said they will jus order ur size but still feeling down a worried about it ! xx

     

  • manfawmanfaw Posts: 2,756

    No I think no matter what your size you panic about this!

    I was told in one shop that I was too fat for some of the dresses.... needless to say I didnt buy my dress from there.  But I did give them a peice of my mind!  Dont worry though every other dress shop I visited I was treated like a princess which I am sure you will be too! image

    Where abouts in the country are you based I am sure that there are some B2Bs on here that can point you in the right direction to some lovely shops image

  • JodielouJodielou Posts: 4,058

    Honestly, you've no need to worry- most bridal shops are brilliant at dealing with people of all shapes and sizes and will help you to pick out styles that flatter your shape and personal style.  You don't necessarily have to look at plus-size ranges either, as the 'regular' ranges normally go up to at least a size 28.  I'm not going to lie to you- it seems the majority of the dresses stocked are still in a size 12 or 14- but don't let this put you off.  At a size 20/22 they may not be able to do the corset up all the way, but you will be able to try on dresses in a 16/18 and still get a good enough idea of whether you like it/ if it suits you.  I know this isn't ideal, but most of us have to try dresses on in this way and a good shop assistant will be sensitive about it.

    As you're feeling nervous and lacking confidence I would call a handful of bridal shops and explain your concerns over the phone- from there you should be able to gauge how understanding they are and whether they'll make the experience an enjoyable one for you.  They should also be able to tell you how many dresses they have in a size 16+ for you to try.

    One last tip- if you're anxious about lots of other brides-to-be trying on dresses at the same time as you perhaps avoid making an appointment on a Saturday, which is by far the busiest day.

    Good luck, and congratulations on your engagement! x

    Ooooo, might be worth taking a look at this thread too, just so you can see for yourself some stunning size 18+ brides.  It also highlights the difference choosing the right dress can make!

    http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/big-beautiful-brides/pics-of-size-18-brides-in-their-dresses-please/148469.html

     

     

  • I was terrified about going to try on dresses too but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought.  All the shops I went to had several dresses in size 20 & 22 and it's amazing what the shop assistants can get you into as well!

  • mandi133mandi133 Posts: 424
    oh hun! I truly sympathise, I felt the same as you do and I did have a horriable experince in 2 bridal shops, but I then rang 3 dress shops and asked if they speicfically stocked a plus size range and I made appointments with them, I now have a beautiful dress (bonny bridal 1010) and its very flattering. Im the same size as you, I feel like a princess in my dress and not at all 'big' u will find your perfect dress and you will look amazing in it xxx
  • Spond25Spond25 Posts: 580

    I'm the same size as you and went to about 10 shops and not once did I have a problem or feel that the assistants were judging me, the only person that judged my size was me!!.  I tried on some gorgeous dress even squeezed into a size 14 sophia tolli one that I loved although you could see it didnt hang properly but i guess a skinny girl would feel the same trying on a bigger size.  I did feel quite a bit embarressed when the assistants came in and helped but they do only help they dont stand and stare at you and that was only a couple of shops most pass the dress through to you then ask if  you need any help.

    Go and try loads on it such fun and gets addictive lol  I only ever made one appointment too I always just turned up to see how I was treated first and if i like the shop if they were busy i had no problem with making an appointment to go back but all the shop i turned up at let me try on and the one that was rude i didnt go back to.  I ended up falling in love with a gorgeous champagne dress in a size 12 sample and said no way will i fit in to that and the lady said ud be surprised, she took the back out and admittedly it didnt do up but i still got feel of it. All the dresses i liked on me had ruching i think it does wonders for pulling you in and in my opion (and my h2bs) curvey brides are much sexier.

    I ended up choosing the shop i wanted to buy from before choosing my dress and they were so friendly.

    Good luck finding your dress, keep us posted and enjoy the shopping, you'll look stunning

    xx

  • MrsTwizbeMrsTwizbe Posts: 3,352 New bride

    When my friend got married (size 20) I went with her to a local bridal shop and they were amazing. without a word, they got an extra bit of material that they pinned to the back of the dress so that it looked and felt closed when she tried it on.

    They were great with me too when at 6ft some other dress shops were less than helpful with my desire to have a long dress.

  • first of all can i jus say a MASSIVE thank you! u have all made me feel so much better about the experiance! i am lookng forward to going dress shopping as i think me n mum will have a lovely day its just me and me now thinkin im to 'fat' to get into a dress! but with what u lovely ladies have said to me has made me feel alot better so thank u so so much!!

    Thank u Wenchy i will find them on the internet and have a look! how long do the shops take to get your dresses in?

    xxx

  • What are the prices like there hun? Are they more expensive coz there plus size?xxx
  • lizbet2507lizbet2507 Posts: 155

    First I want to say please don't worry you will look fab and enjoy the experience! I am a size 20 and the first place I went to was Berketex Brides - who were amazing!!! The lady  told me not to be stupid about my size, to embrace my curves and just enjoy myself, which I did!!! She got me into a size 14 dress (with the help of a back panel) and I felt fab - even if my boobs were very pushed up in the dress lol.  I have also visited a place called wedding factory outlet in Leicester as they go up to size 30 dresses.... don't get me wrong the choice is not as wide in the plus size range but they had some lovely dresses and again I felt like a princess.

    Wenchy - did you find a dress in Castleford? I am based in the Midlands so quite a drive but sounds like a great place to go!!?

    x

  • Oh honey this is so sad! I'm a size 22 and have a lovely dress 'Jet' from Perfection Bridal.



    Most stockists go up to a size 26, and from experience Alfred Angelo have a gorgeous range of dresses.



    Have you considered designing your in dress? As this would be a one-off no-one would be able to make any comparisons with the 'twigs'!
  • so when u go in somewhere and get a dress do u jus put a deposit dwn then pay the rest of the amount when u have ur final fitting xxx

  • haha no we are guna go start looking this month but i jus need to no about the deposit now really! am i wrong in thinking when u order it u pay a deposit then pay for it in full at ur final fitting?xx

  • Spond25Spond25 Posts: 580

    I only had to put £200 down for mine which surprised me I did put £300 down though.  Most places let you pay some off while you'll waiting for the dress to come in Ive managed another £100 so just £275 to go and they want it paid 6 weeks before our wedding which is the fitting (any alterations are included).  my dress is taking 6 months and I ordered in April so hopefully not long to go so excited xx

    Have fun shopping image  just one little tip don't rush go away and think or you'll end up with a dress you're not sure on like I did whoops!!

  • manfawmanfaw Posts: 2,756

    Yes just what everyone needs advice from a spammer....image

    Anyway in answer to your question about deposits, I think all shops are different, when I ordered my dress I paid 50% and when I go for my first fitting I will pay the other 50% + £50 for alterations.

  • thirdthingthirdthing Posts: 582

    JodieLou gave you a link to a thred on here where curvy brides have posted pictures of themselves in their dresses looking lovely.

    I know just howyou feel though, but don't worry about big gaping gaps at the back - if you try on a size 14 dress, they slip a satin panel into the gap and lace it up over that - so no naked flash poking through!!  ~Also, I told the assistants in the shops that I was terribly self conscious, and they were all lovely - they seem to manage to get you into dresses and totally avert their eyes from your body! Very discreet!

    Only had a poor experience in one shop where the owner said she 'didn't really stock bridal gowns for older, larger brideson a budget' - left the shop feeling ancient, enormous and poor! Not a good feeling!

    Enjoy your day with your Mum!

    Oh and I had to pay 50% deposit.

  • thirdthingthirdthing Posts: 582

    thread not thred! doh!

     

  • Sending you lots of hugs, I felt exactly the same as you and I remember feeling sick with worry the first time I went into a dress shop (I range from a 30-32 so am quite a bit bigger), honestly I don't know what I was worrying about.

    I'm another one who definitely recommends The Big Day in Castleford, Lucy and Paula are absolutely amazing ladies, who make you feel like a complete and utter princess.

  • hiya ladies, hope ur all well!

    thank u so much for all ur lovely comments! thank u but i dnt think i feel comforable getting a dress off the internet i wud need t try it on before buying it!

    i have booked a number of appointments now i have one at the bridal sop in leeds, one at the big day incastleford and one at confetti and lace in harrogate!!

    so i will see how i get on soooo nervous but i will keep u all updated xx

  • Honestly you will feel like a princess at the big day. I got given some tags to attach to the hangers of the dresses I liked the look of and then got taken through to the back to start trying them on. The odd thing is the dress that I've actually chosen is one that Paula picked out for meimage

    Can't wait to hear how you get on xx

  • thank u ladies! i am glad i am going! i am also excited about confetti and lace because i have read reviews and they 2 d 'big' sizes! i am going to the harrogate store coz they have an ex sample rack as well!

    the only thing if u choice a dress in a smaller size from an ex sample will they maybe put an extra panel in or something?xx

  • hi ladies

    jus an update!

    i got my dress in early october, i dint go to the big day bridal i got it from a shop in leeds! its beautiful! i tried 2 dresses on and the first dress was miles to big for me and the second one i am gettin was a lil small but they made it fit!! they have ordered the dress in my size now but i am currently on my 6th week of ww and have some far lost 12.5lb which is great!

    the first thing we asked when ordering is can i have it made smaller and they asurred me i could!!

     

    thank u all for ur help

    xx

  • Li1736Li1736 Posts: 324

    i know you may have already been reassured by everyones comments but i wanted to comment anyway

     

    i am a size 22 and never ever got a bad recpetion from shops or anyone in them. i went to a few different shops and i would say its far better going to a plus size shop - i highly highly recommend big day in castleford - they are so so so lovely i had the best experience out of all in that shop and i went alone. they have loads of dresses all plus size and the shop is luxurious and beautiful on the inside.

     

    i did go in some"normal" wedding dress shops but my experience was that although they were very nice they didnt have the same understanding a specialist shop does and so would get there and they be trying to get me in dresses that were never going to go on me and then its a whole lot of effort to maybe try one dress on.

     

    i ended up getting my dress made, as i couldnt find the exact thing i wanted, its hard as not much choice as a bigger bride to try on even with the fab shops like big day.  im glad i got it made though as i love it now and feel confident

     

    try to enjoy the xperience of shopping - i hated it and now feel its a shame x

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