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Who Is Paying For Yours?

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  • Mrshopkins2b, i dont know if that comment was aimed at me, but i didnt mean i wanted h2bs parents to contribute, i just dont want them to keep adding people to the guest list who we dont even know (and will probably never see again) and add to the cost which they are not paying for. I talked to h2b about it yesterday and he said he doesnt really want these people coming to our wedding but if his parents want them to come that much then me and h2b will have to pay for them. As annoying as that would be, i would rather us pay for these extra people (about 20) than have my parents pay as yes it is our wedding and i didnt ask my parents to contribute, but they wanted to. ideally i would rather just have close family and friends but i dont want to fall out with h2bs parents before were even married!



    i also dont want to start an argument on here, just wanted to set the record straight as my previous comment must have come across different to how i meant it to! image

    [Modified by: Georgie2010 on August 11, 2008 04:35 PM]

  • Hey,



    Me and my h2b is gettin help frm both parents to pay fr wedding plus us as well, we have found alot of hotels give discount fr rooms to the guests so i think every one sud try. Me and my h2b is getting married next sep 09.

  • Hey Georgie, Sorry if I caused any offence!! I wasn't aiming the comment at anyone, just putting out my views,



    Weddings cause enough grief all round without the finances adding into the family chaos eh?



    Sorry again x





    :\)





    also, agree totally about the numbers side of things, to try to keep the cost down we're havin just our parents and siblings then mutual close friends...my parents have tried the...you should invite so and so and their wife and three random children you've not seen in years and years!!! Good luck with the guest list Georgie xxx

    [Modified by: mrshopkins2b on August 11, 2008 08:41 PM]

  • Titch_mfcTitch_mfc Posts: 689
    Thankfully my parents have agreed to give us 10k and pay the bar bill!

    So were paying for the rest, however we are trying to cover everything as my dad does see it as a waste of money and would rather we used the money to pay into our mortgage!



    I'm pleased we have not been made to feel that certain people have to be invited! But then everyone knows how stubborn and outspoken I am so they are probably too scared to mention it! LOL!



    Thank god I'm not the only one with nightmare inlaws!!



    My H2B works with his dad, he is actually his dads boss! Needless to say it doesnt go down to well!! I could be n here for days telling you all everything but thats not what this post is about!!



    So happy planning girls! No matter your budget its going to be a magical day!



    xxxx
  • My H2B and I have been quite lucky as my parents said straight away that they would pay for everything and then H2Bs mother also wanted to give us some money, so we have decided to put that towards the honeymoon.
  • The moment we mentioned we were getting married, everyone on both side has been really generous, my folk are giving is 7k, h2b parents are giving us 2k and paying for the wedding cake aswell. My big brother is paying the 1k for my wedding dress and veil, one of our friends is a photographer and doing the photos as a wedding present and our other friend has offered his Jag to take h2b to the church (even though they wanted to use the hearse instead)
  • Dont worry mrshopkins2b, i was probably just beig oversensitive! Im not offended by what you said, but i thought maybe i had put my first post across badly!



    I am already stressing about my wedding and i still have 654 days 2 go!! Maybe i should just insist that we only have close faily and friends, but i dont know how 2 do that wihout upsettig anyone! oh well, we have over a year b4 we need 2 send out invites so im sure something will get sorted! Good luck with the planning!!

    [Modified by: Georgie2010 on August 12, 2008 05:29 PM]

  • I'm SO pleased that I'm not having the stress that some of you girls are!!! I'm really lucky, my parents have offered to - traditionally - pay for the whole wedding and they basically said that I could have what I want. A lot of people would jump at the chance but my fiance and I agreed that we'd pay for the majority of our wedding (considering I've been working full time for the past 3 years I thought it was unfair expecting my parents to pay for everything). So we came to an agreement - my parents are paying for the reception bill (i.e. all food for day and evening and table wine for toast) and my h2b's parents are paying for their daughters bridesmaid outfit, grand-daughters flowergirl outfit and grandson's pageboy outfit. I thought this was a very generous offer of them - we didn't expect them to pay for anything as - long story - but basically they've put a lot of money and work into our house. Anyway, me and my h2b are paying for the rest. Thing is, we only want a relatively small wedding anyway (80 at wedding, 150 to evening party) and we want it simple, not a big posh fancy do, just a fun, happy small day with close friends and family. I'm pleased that both sets of parents are really proud that we're paying for it, especially when we could have easily expected the parents to pay. I've done some rough tallies on our day and I can't see it being over 7k and that's with over-estimating prices!! And more than anything, we're using friends' and families' services, for example, friend with posh car is taking us to wedding and auntie is baking the cake.. all saves on pennies!

  • Hi all im 25 by H2B is 26 we both work full time and I bought my own house a few years ago. My mum and dad are paying for our wedding. We are doing rings honey moon and presents ect. My H2B parents have refused to contribute a penny. His dad has refused to pay for a morning suit ect. I never expected to go halves etc but hoped they would help by paying for flowers ect. I had previously got on really well with them, but this is causing major problems for all involved including me and H2B !! Any advise would be appreciated.

    :\(
  • Hi girls, i am 22 and h2b is 24. we rent our home (but crazily at a rate higher that what we'd have to pay in mortgage costs) but we just can't get a mortgage because we do not have a deposit and then theres this whole credit crunch at the moment no one is lending. We've been engaged already for nearly 2 years and i'm getting a bit depressed with not having got anywhere towards even starting wedding arrangements! No one of either of our familys is willing or able to help out so if we want a wedding we have got to find the money ourselves. I don't earn a lot (i'm in the nhs) and h2b is on enough to get us by on a monthly basis without going too far in the red. I also have £20k student loan therefore you can guess that money is the hot subject in our house pretty much all the time...it is absolutely the only thing we ever get hot-tempered with each other about therefore we just avoid talking about it!

    I want a very low key....but lovely wedding, he wants a deposit for a house. I can understand why thats his priority but i'm worried that if we don't start at least planning soon we never will and i really don't want to be engaged forever! saving is extremely hard on our wages, i must say i envy some of you lucky girls who are very fortunatre to have family helping you with thousands of pounds. Our entire wedding (even low key with few guests and no honeymoon) is looking like it will cost around £5000 and thats scrimping on almost everything! eg no church, making all invitations etc, second hand dress, barbeque instead of 3 course meal,

    anyway gonna stop feeling sorry for myself now lol! i have my lovely fiance which is the most important thing eh! i'm sure we'll get there soon!
  • hey,

    im 21 h2b is 29,been together 3 years.

    we are paying for our wedding.

    my mum cant-she don work as is registered disabled and has my 5year old brother to look after.

    and his parents are too tight to pay for anything!



    its going to be hard but worth it in the long run,we got over a year to save and pay or everything,we know what we want,where,whos coming,and all the details.

    we are so easy to please and this is going to be a laid back wedding.



    just taking the planning and payments week by week



  • hi,



    me and my parter are both 23, neither of our parents have offered a penny, so we have opted to get married at a 5 star hotel in mexico, itll end up costing us about 7000 all together, including my dress, honey moon, and party at home after



    xx
  • hi



    we are also getting married in mexico, my parents are paying for the wedding in mexico and also for myself and h2b to stay an extra week after everyone else has gone home. when we come back we are having an evening recpetion for 200 which myself and h2b are paying for. H2b's parents aren't contributing anything and haven't offered to either



    k xxx
  • I'm 24 and h2b is 23. We bought a house last year but holding out decorating to save pennies for wedding. We are saving about £5000 and luckily h2b parents are paying £9000 and my parents £7000. h2b grandparents are paying for honeymoon so we have it good really! xx
  • HA! All you girls are very lucky! It's the other way around with me and my fiance. We're both 21, will be 22 when we get married. My fiance's finishing his last year at Uni and I am self employed which doesn't bring in a very reliable wage! We are planning to use his £4000 student loan for our wedding so are on somewhat of a strict budget. H2b's parents have said they will pay for the DJ and all other bits and pieces for the reception, however my parents aren't in the slightest bit interested, especially my mum which really annoys me! We've been together six years so it's not like she can say it's a silly thing to do - we already act like a married couple! I'm currently plucking up the courage to ask them if they're planning on offering to pay for anything and I'm hoping they'll say yes! Even if it's just my wedding dress (have seen a beautiful Benjamin Roberts dress for £795) then I'd be happy image
  • Hey im new! im already married! i got married when i was 19 and hubby was 20 and my parents and his parents went half and half the only thing we brought was our rings! and little prezzies for eachother and presants for both parents! takecare lv selinaxxx
  • my mum is paying for most of it (venue,ceremony,reception) , my dad has paid for dresses! and h2bs mum has paid for a few things. I know everyone is spending as much as they can afford. we have a budget of about 10k so quite lucky really!
  • leighh5leighh5 Posts: 1,439
    I am reading everything and realising how lucky h2b and I are! we are paying for our own wedding, although our parents and my gran have offered to donate money to our funds. I have asked if any of them have anyone they want to come along and they have all said no. x
  • Hi,



    Just thought I'd add my little story too.

    I'm 22 my H2B is 25 (we'll be 23 and 26 when we get married next year) and we are paying for most of the wedding ourselves. We've had a mortgage for four years, since I was 18 which is about £600 a month so we're trying to save about £500 a month for the wedding on top of this which is hard. We've both got quite modest jobs (I'm a teacher, h2b works for social services) so our parents are also helping where they can (although they've only got modest jobs too e.g. my dads a bricklayer, my mam and his mam work for social services also).



    My dad is giving me £2000 towards my dress for which i'm very grateful. My mam is paying for alterations, tiara and veil (about £500), his mam is paying for flowers and we are sorting out the rest. I'll probablys have to sell my car but I'm happy to sell it to help pay for my wedding.



    xx
  • We were planning on paying for our wedding ourselves (my parents dont have any money to give me, at all) but since we got engaged his parents have dropped a bombshell and are giving us a hefty amount to pay for our deposit on our house and the wedding, which of course I am very greatful for! i just dont even know where to begin with the planning!
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