AAAHHHHHH, people should mind their own business!!!!

hey everyone, sorry im going to rant lol but im sick of people looking at me like im nuts!!image



I met my h2b when i just turned 17 and we've been inseperable ever since, im now 21 and we have 2 gorgeous kids together. were getting married 24th april 2010 ill be 22 (23 the following july) he will be 27, i know im young as people keep reminding me but were in a very strong and stable relationship!!



does anyone else have the 'but your so young lecture' esp those of us who already have children?! its starting to drive me insane!!!



some of us young girls are mature beyond our years and am i not right that years ago it was normal to marry out of school at 16 or so, so stop going on at meeee!!! were not all a sterotype. h2b's parents married at 16 & 17 and are still very happy, that can still happen these days!



i feel better now lol, its only the odd few but i shouldnt have to justify myself all the time!



I hope everyones wedding plans are going ok, tell all girlies image

Posts

  • OOOOOO yes it bugs me too! I also 21 h2b is 25 and we have been together nearly 5 years and due to be married June 09 so I will be almost 22 which I do not think is all that young.

    We know that we would like to start a family about a year after we are married but say that takes a bit of time , we would be pushed to squeeze in two before he's 30! And thats not young !

    Our families are delighted but its the complete strangers or slightly less mature friends who comment!

    How frickin rude!

    Ok so some is jealousy - from a people who can only manage multiple 1-2 year relationships and some from older people but come on would anyone really say to someone older "tick tock, times getting on better get married" or " aren't you two too old to get married now?" lol

    I dont bother to justify it anymore although it does bother me when all the questions are directed to my step mum or mum in law when we are out wedding shopping I'm like "hello I am the bride, my day, my money, my decision!" my step mum was asked if she wanted to buy the dress bag and it was £20 and would that be OK with her?

    And my mum in law was given all the brochures and menus at the venues! lol

    And I see so many women getting a little older looking to get married because they want a marriage and children where as we are getting married because we have been lucky enough to find the right person and we are not desperate and running out of time!



    OK rant over!

    hehe



    I am deff a bridezilla I have a million magazines and keep buying them - for what I dont know as everything is pretty much chosen!



    I must say this has been the longest year - waiting for the day to come, but I musnt wish it away because it will be all over so quickly, I am very much looking forward to signing the register!



    I am wedding crazy and i am driving friends and colleagues mad with all the wedding chatter! My friend who sits opposite at work is getting married too and we have a new "swear box" for wedding talk and it's expensive at £1 per "swear" so i must talk n here more!













  • our situations are similar my h2b is also 25 and weve been together nearly 5 years lol. its the same with me people look past me like i cant plan my own wedding even though were paying for the lot!! cheek! i think it prob works both ways your either too old or too young everyone will have something to say! and yes it is more the strangers and people that are jealous or clueless lol!!



    its nice to chat to chat to someone my age about it, when i had my kids all my friends fizzled out so all the women i socialise with are older.



    i wouldnt say i was a bridezilla yet but the weddings quite a way off so im expecting it to kick in at some point hehe image



    what are your colours and have you picked your dress yet etc? aaw i hope my year doesnt go slow i cant wait to be his wife! although im quite shy so the thought of being in front of all those people is a bit scary but i just keep telling myself as long as ryan is at the end of the aisle im ok lol! we have around 90 people for the day and another 30 on top of that for the evening.



    he you and your friend at work will have to find a corner to hide in to 'swear' image
  • Hi all,

    I am 21 and due to be married 5/5/09, I'll be 22 then. I have a 4 year old daughter. My oh is 26 and when we get married we will only have been together 2 years!! I haven't had any comments before but I remember getting comments when I was pregnant with my daughter at 17, which used to drive me insane, I'm definetly not Vicky Pollard.



    What can I say it was love at first sight with my oh. Noone has the right to comment anyway its nothing to do with them. Especially when we are all working our butts off to afford our weddings, houses, keeping kids fed etc. Age is just a number after all.



    Hope all you ladies wedding plans are coming along nicely.
  • Hi



    I am 24 so not as young as you ladies but I have had a bit of stick as me & H2B will have been together 3 years when we get married but we had been together 8 weeks before we bought a house together and people thought we were mad! Which quite possibly we were but it has worked and we are happy.



    Good luck to you all and age is only a number if you are happy that is all that matters...



    *S*
  • JJ1176JJ1176 Posts: 45
    Hi Girls,



    At the risk of taking the thread slightly off the topic but along the lines of everyone else feeling they have the right to make comments about life choices!! I am about to get married (in 27 days yipeee!!) and both my H2b and I are 29 (so certainly not as young as you ladies). I have a younger sister who has been married for 4 years and has a one year old son and we went to his birthday party at the weekend I was constantly asked "so when are you having kids then?" "Oh it will be you next" etc etc I found it sooooooo annoying, H2b and I would really like to start a family buit not yet as we are enjoying having time to ourselfs first. I just get really frustrated with people thinking they can make comments all the time and start to feel that I have to have a child to validate my existence!!



    sorry, rant over. I guess the point I wanted to make is people will always have views about when is the right time to do things but at the end of the day we are all different and make big life choices eg weddings and babys that are right for us and no one else!



    I can really imagine how annoying it must be not to be taken seriously as a young bride but stick to your guns, it your day and no matter what your age it will be special. I totally agree with Stacey, being Happy is the key not how mandle candles are on the birthday cake!!



    JJX
  • I expereience the opposite JJ1176. I usually get 'ewwww you have a 4 year old?!' reactions, and 'you have one already you don't need anymore'. I agree, it is our choice and nothing to do with anyone else.
  • Mrs T - I dont feel that organised but there isnt much to do really,

    We are getting married in June (09) and venue is booked and I have had my dress for ages and it is a beatiful very pale pink which suited me far better than the whites, ivories and creams.

    So that makes my colour scheme and flowers pale pink and white which is what I wanted .

    What about you?



    I know these last 6 months are going to be a rush getting all the last minute bits together - thankfully we are having max 30 people !



    Yes it is rather annoying that people think they can say what you are or arent going to do next as if we are going to actually listen to them! And things dont always happen in the happy comfortable order in which people think they ought. Things all happen at the right time for us as individuals and they all happen for a reason!



    Good luck girls!



  • wow i feel better what a liberating forum haha! i think the next person that snears at me is gonna get a gob full hehehehe only pokin ;p



    all the advice is great and all so true!! i too was pregnant at 17 JoanneNYK and we got pregnant again at 19 although addmittedly the second one was a little more planned than the first! im just lucky to have my h2b and that its all turned out for the best.



    raspberry-kitty i dont feel like theres to much to do either, we want it pretty low key but ours is just over a year away so lots of time yet, we have the church and reception booked with deposits and i already have my dress image but when you find it you have to have it lol! were going mainly white with a little gold and chocolate brown, i want it to look crisp and fresh as it will be spring.



    were just going to buy bits for the decorations as were going along and do flowers and cake a few months before hand, just the wedding party clothes then really as we have a good deal on a photographer already as a friend of the family is a pro and our church and reception are all in the village where i live which might seem sad but its a bit of a family tradition on his side! so we saved on transport there. we have also already bought everything to make our invites but will obviously leave actually making them to a much later date!



    'age is just a number' is the new slogan for our wedding im going to carry round a banner for the doubters lol image
  • Don't worry about it! We got together at school aged 17, and are both now 26 and still together and planning on getting married next summer. However I would have been quite happy getting married several years ago, and had we done that our relationship would be the same as it is now. It doesn't really matter when you get married if you know your relationship is strong enough that it will last!



    If people get all bitchy at you, just say you're planning ahead so you can celebrate your golden wedding anniversary before your friends...
  • Well done on all the plans, you are super organised with over a year to go!
  • I totally agree with all of you, people should mind their own business, i will be 24 and h2b 26 when we marry! and another thing, does anyone get super weird looks when they tell people they are getting married in 2010? Its like oh my god, u havent had to book a party recently have u? x x x
  • hehe yeah people sort of shrug it off as if it lightyears away!! that bugs too but thats another topic on its own hehe! it will come round quicker than we think image .......hopefully
  • smooflesmoofle Posts: 339
    The sad thing is it doesn't change after you're married. I'm 22, hubby is 23, and every time I meet somebody new I get 'You're married? Really? Can I ask how old you are? Ohh... you're so young!"



    Sigh.
  • Your deff. not to young! My fiance and i have been together since i was 17 and he was 23. On our wedding day i will be almost 21 and he will be 27. We also have a child together. We have an amazing relationship and i KNOW im suppose to be with him for the rest of my life. I live in the US so maybe what we consider to be too young is different but 22-25 is the average age to get married. No one thinks you too young unless you get married at 18 or something. I think past 25 is kind of older for marriage honestly, unless you dont want to have children or anything because you need that young energy to keep up with! Kids are a handful! im glad i had my son young!
  • me and my partner will be 2o when we get married in february. young, yes, but getting married isnt about how OLD you are, its about how WELL you get on togheter, how much you love eachother and appreciate eachother's company. i wish people, in particular my MILTB would stop telling us we are too young when when her generation were kids their older siblings were marrying straight out of school. maybe they have seen people make mistakes but if we dont take chances we dont know what will happen do we. you have more fun as a couple than ya do single!
  • TianalaaTianalaa Posts: 100
    Congrats to all of you young brides 2 be. I have seen on tv and couple who has been married for like 83 years!.





    "...in Hugo, Minn., an 18-year-old man named Clarence Vail married his 16-year-old sweetheart, Mayme. They had met in the eighth grade, and marriages at such young ages were more the norm than the exception back then. Unremarkable at the time, that union, now 83 years old and still as strong as ever, has finally claimed a place among the historic events of the year."



    Look at that, tell everyone else to kiss your asses and that you'll see them in 80 years or so!



    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23671580/
  • i dont think marriage is about age, some people can be young getting married and still be happy at 80 odd together. some people can get married at 30 and be divorced 2 years later. I think if you have found the right person then whats the harm?



    im 19 and my h2b is 18 he proposed on xmas day. We have a son together who is 15 months old and have our own place. Were hoping to get married in summer 2010. I will be 21 he will be 19 maybe 20 depending on date.



    I hate the way people judge! I myself get very worried about what people think of me and always have done!. BUT i have known my h2b since i was little we were in the same nursery class at one point. Our parents live one road apart so as we were growing up we were all mates together. We had been together 6 months when i fell pregnant he was 16 i was 17, It was the scariest thought ever but we got on and he was my hero when i was rushed in to have an emergency c-section at 38 +4. He is now the greatest daddy in the world! I think my family are very divided in the thought of us getting married. Although my mum is over the moon!



    i normally listen to too much negativity and worry but this is one thing i will be holding my head up high about!

  • BambagirlBambagirl Posts: 7,506
    I'm an older bride at the age of 50 and some people think I don't have the right to get married in church wearing a traditional gown & veil with my grown-up daughter as bridesmaid and my best friend of my own age as Matron of Honour! But that's what I'll be doing!



    I've been married before when I was young (23) and it didn't work out - not that I'm saying that will be the outcome of any of YOUR weddings - everyone is different, regardless of their age when they marry, be they very young or well into middle age like me! Anyway every bride has the right to choose for herself (with her fianc????'s input too of course!) the kind of wedding she wants. Don't let them give you a hard time about being young. And I'll try not to let them give ME a hard time about being NOT so young!



    The very best of luck to ALL of you with your wedding plans. I don't care if you're 16 or 60!



    Bamba x

  • you cant bloody win either wya, people are so ageist.

    Its not like a green light comes on when you are old enough to get married and blue one when you are old enough to have children and a red on when you are too old to get married in church!

    People are all different and do not all reach the same stage at the same time.

    Good luck to us all as no matter what our age as all relationships need nurturing.



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