Sick and tired on the comments about the age gap!

Just a small rant, LOL Just getting sick and tired on comments about the age gap between me and h2b. Why can't people just be happy that i'm happy and have found someone that i love and loves me too. People are sooo small minded!! Rant over, thanks! x

Posts

  • CLFukCLFuk Posts: 359
    Just out of interest what is the age gap between you and H2B?



    My H2B is 11 years older than me!! It has never been a problem and people have never made negative comments about us!



    The way I see it is - he's not quite old enough to be my Dad and my parents are old enough to be his parents - so where's the problem??
  • jbenny23jbenny23 Posts: 126
    I'm 25 and h2b is 51. we have known eachother for 6 years and been a couple for just over 2 now. People look at me as if i'm mad!!
  • FahchanFahchan Posts: 183
    even though there is no age different between me and h2b i've been of the mind of that if there is an age gap between other couples, and said couples are complaining about the age gaps between yourself and h2b then tell them to look at themselves.



    or ask them if their parents have an age gap, that should stop them.



    sorry im not much help
  • 9503430495034304 Posts: 94
    Hi Hun,



    Just wanted to say that there is 24 years between my Mum & Dad and they have the best relationship! They've been married 25 years and are so happy together, I see them all the time holding hands and kissing and just enjoying being together. Age doesn't matter at all it just takes other people a while to get used to the idea. Hold tight and it will get better you just have to be patient. Most people are pretty set in their ways and it can be hard to make them see outside of the 'normal' situations in life, but you will get there. Don't let it get you too down x
  • jbenny23jbenny23 Posts: 126
    So nice to know that an age gap like ours can last. I'm not saying i don't worry a bit about our futre together but nothing that would ever stop me from wanting to be together. I'm very lucky, we love each other alot and thats all that matters really, just sometimes it grates on me when people quite blatanley say stupid things or feel they can ask all sorts of personal things to you because they're curious! You should listen to some of the things that complete strangers have said to me in the past! The mind boggles. LOL

    [Modified by: MrsMurf2b on April 29, 2009 08:42 PM]

  • Bride-BeccaBride-Becca Posts: 1,411
    my h2b is 9 years older than me...at the start it may looked a bit wrong coz i was 18 and he was 27 but hey ho! lol now its not too bad :P
  • My H2B is only 6 years older then me, Im 24, hes 30... Im kinda on the fence about age gaps... It depends on circumstances. Using marriages as an example from years and years ago is not the same as now a days. My parents been married for 35 years almost, but it was also A LOT different back then.

    I dated someone 15 years older then me when I was 19, and while you may say 19 and 25 is quite different in maturity and place in life, its still the same thing.. I was young and thought, oh we loved each other we are happy blah blah blah, age doesnt matter, its just a number.. well it does matter. Now, Im not in any way saying that you cant love someone that much older then you or that you cant be happy, however, things will change about yourself. When I was dating this guy, he complained about I liked to go out, he started to make comments about dressing more ''older'' when we were in public together and started expecting me to act 30 and not my age. Now Im not saying that any one else does this or this happens, but really, if you pay attention to your relationship over a period of time you will notice changes about yourself and how things go on. Maybe you dont care, or notice now, but it happens. Even my H2B now, hes only 6 years older then me, and while that might not seem like too much, I definitely notice certain things about the SMALL age gap. Not enough to make us break up but enough to know that you look past the Love and look past the attitude of trying to explain that age is just a number, you WILL see that infact age does matter.

    My dad is 52, and I cant imagine having a ''Mom'' my age and why he would think he even has the right to date someone so much younger, its odd to me. It makes you wonder about someone intentions and thoughts that they need to date someone that much younger.

    Sometimes I guess it depends on maturity as well.. however, there are so many FUTURE things to think about. Kids, a family...But nobody thinks about their future as much now days as much as they think about NOW and how they are happy NOW, and thats not smart.



    With all this said, its just something to think. But I will say, Good luck to you in the Future and I hope things work out for you both.
  • WallmanukWallmanuk Posts: 61
    My H2B is 45 and I have just turned 25, we have been together for 5 years and I have to say that neither of us have changed that much over the

    years.



    I don't think it matters about age, as long as you are happy and know he is the one, so what. AND DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE ELSE!!!!!

    Luckily, all of our friends could see how happy we made each other so we never had anyone say anything and even if we did, it would have just made us stronger.



    When we first got together, I did have issues, mainly how my parents would react. I didn't tell them for 9 months as I wanted to see how things went with us and I thought that there was no point upsetting them, if it was to end so soon. When I finally told them, my dad was not best pleased but when I told them how long we had been together and how he made me feel, they could see that I was happy. It took my dad a while to get used to it and a good firm talking to from his friends and he finally came round. Now, he can see how happy we are and im still his little girl and he is just as happy for me.



    For me know, I could not think of being with anyone else, he is my soul mate, my best friend. If you fell like that about anyone age, does not matter.



    Just enjoy your wedding plans and your wedding and don't worry about what anyone says.



    With regards to having children, we have talked about it and if worse case scenario if we couldn't have them, there are alternative ways but one thing is for sure, it would not make me love him any less or change my mind about marrying him.



    Don't worry about it and have a happy future together.



    x x x x
  • laura118uklaura118uk Posts: 2
    My H2b is 12 years older than me. I am 21 and he is 33. But we are happy, he is my world, and i wouldnt change it for the world.

    I have never had any comments about our age difference though.

    We are getting married July 25th sooooo excited.

    Dont worry what other people say. As long as you are both happy
  • emmaa86ukemmaa86uk Posts: 1,364
    Hi Mrs Murf,



    The age gap between me and my H2B is slighty larger than yours and we sometimes notice people looking but i don't care.



    We have been blissly happy for nearly 8 yrs and yes there are complications with our age difference and sometimes we have different perceptions but we are adults and can agree to disagree and it doesn't mean our relationship is flawed in any way. Things is i have done alot in my life and people never believe my age, alot of my successes in life are because of my H2B's knowlegde and life experience. My H2B is highly motivated and works very hard and is truley the best man i have ever known.



    My friends adore him and often i come home to find H2B and my friends having coffee together because everone is so comfortable with him, my parents also love him although they are younger ( they had me when they were mid teens) but they worry that he'll die many years before me..but i tell them I would rather have theses years of happiness now than be looking for something else. Age isn't just a number i really agree,but look at emotional support..apparently this same age relationship we should instead be striving for have problems too apparently.



    My friends and family know we are both truley happy in eveyway possible so they just accept us as a couple....anyone else, there opinion is worth nothing.



    I'm not saying i don't worry about the future as the age difference will be more noticable when i'm in my late 30's and 40's i think but I love him and you never know what around the corner...even if you marry someone the same age as you.



    If anyone makes and comments, smile and walk away - it makes them wonder what you've been up to!



    Emma.xx



  • vharilvharil Posts: 274
    There is 11 years between me & H2B. Im 22 and he's 33. At first it was a bit odd but then as I got to know him I realised we were perfect for each other. I had always been a bit mature for my age, dont get me wrong Ive been out dont the partying thing, well travelled and have great life experiences but I dont mind staying in at the weekend snuggled up with a dvd, spending time with H2B. We do still go out, just not as much. Plus we did feel a bit like a wee old couple so we even started having a date night to the cinema every wednesday.



    As H2B says "your only as young as the woman your feeling" - You can tell he's a bit immature for his age! Which is perfect as we meet in the middle!! lol



    I love him and wouldnt change him for the world (maybe he could fart less but I can live with it!) So if anyone has aproblem with that they can just all get stuffed!! We're happy and thats the main thing!! image
  • A really interesting topic here. I'm not in the same boat - my partner is only 3 years older than me - but I look young so I get comments about our age gap and that I'm too young to get married which had started to really get to me now so I can sympathise.



    I think it's more about how you are as a couple. I would be worried about a significant age gap, not so much in terms of what people thought but in terms of having kids and where will we be once my partner reaches retirement and I'm in my prime so to speak. But as they say love conquers all! X
  • kirk110480kirk110480 Posts: 3,339
    I can imagine it gets really frustrating. My man's 5 years older but he looks younger (he's nearly 34) and acts younger so we've never really had any comments. However when I was 18 I was good friends with a lovely lady in her 50's who husband was in his 70's and they'd always got comments but it never mattered - until he got 'old'. She felt like she was still in the prime of her life but he had aged and they no longer had the same interests - although they still loved each other. She became more of a carer than his lover and they gradually developed very different lives. Granted this can happen to any couple regardless of their ages but this instance was directly as a result of his health due to his age. Personally I don't think I could even started a relationship with someone older because of my friend's marriage told to me when I was young!



    So keep your man young at heart and fit and healthy and go for it! xx
  • misswigglezmisswigglez Posts: 367
    ohh ive finally found someone with a larger age gap than mine lol!! and thats not ment in a bad way!



    Im 23 and Jerry will be 43 in october! so theres 19yrs and 4mnths between us!! not that you see that when we are together! yes he's going grey and hopefully i wont for a long long time lol!!



    jerry is 1 yr younger than my parents, my mum was a bit funny with it to start with but as soon as she saw us together and see how happy he makes me she is now happy for us!!



    Ignore everyone else, we've had the funny looks and everything else, but since being engaged we have 2 other couple friends which we knew they had age gap but you dont like to ask do you?! but they both have 20yrs between them too!!

    Tony is 60 and Paula is 40 been married for many many yrs now!!

    Kim is 50 and Toni is 30 also been married 2yrs now!!



    it does work and just ignore the comments!! be happy!!
  • lozza83lozza83 Posts: 3,777
    Mrs Murf2b don't let them get you down! There's 10 years between me and my h2b and we get it sometimes, but you've got to let it go over your head. People get bored and need something to occupy themselves with!!



    You've got a bigger age gap than me so you probably get it a lot worse, but as long as you're happy sod em!!
  • nat23cnat23c Posts: 120
    im 23 and my h2b is 40.



    i really dont care what people say about it because we love each other and are very happy. we used to get people saying it will make a difference in the future and that at some point the age difference will cause problems 1 day.



    some of them may be talking from their own experiences but i would say that person obviously wasnt right for them.



    we have been together 7 1/2 yrs and the age difference has never been a problem, the only problem that the age difference has caused for us is the big deal people made over it.



    just be happy, thats all that counts



    nat x
  • MrsMcDermott2bMrsMcDermott2b Posts: 1,178
    Urgh, when people ask your age...you wouldnt do that other wise, or when people say oh hes lucky that he has a young gf....why?!!



    urgh, so glad i found this forum!!



  • lesley78lesley78 Posts: 516
    Hi, there is 16 years between me and my h2b, but i dont even notice and i dont think other people do anymore. We have two kids together and he has two children from previous marriage that live with us. We have just got married and are as happy as can be! we have been together for 6 years.



    i dont think age matters at all, if you love someone then thats all that counts xx
  • pot_of_goldpot_of_gold Posts: 5,254
    I think people get threatened by what they don't understand. Personally I don't think I would be attracted to an older man but I don't have a problem with age gaps with other people, it's just personal preference.

    However, I know that some people would just not accept it because they didn't personally understand it.



    I think if you love each other then any challenge can be overcome no matter what it is. A large age gap could potentially create more challenges in a relationship than people of the same age but then you may not have other challenges that people of the same age face.

    I know that lifestyles and traditions and ideas about family could (and I say could) mean more challenges and a lot of compromise. For instance someone may need to compromise on having children earlier than they would have planned if they have an older partner etc. However, I don't believe any of these challenges are insurmountable if you have a strong relationship.



    My aunt married a 52 year old man when she was 17 and they were blissfully in love for 10 years until he unfortunately passed away. But they made it work.



    All the best.

  • i don't know how you girls all cope with such big age gaps, i mean my h2b and i get a lot of problems with a 6 year age differece, i dont think age matters, its about the love you share with that person
  • I'm the opposite of most of you, it's me who's older - i'm 28 my H2B will be 21 nest week! But it works and that all that matters! I have a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship and he's also great with her - I couldn't ask for more!



    At the end of the day ignore everyone else, as long as you're happy that's what counts! image
  • Hi ladies, im so glad there are people in the same boat as me, i'm just turned 22 and my partner is 34, luckily enough we dont get dodgy looks or anything as he looks younger, and our parents and friends are fine with it, i see it as age is only a number, and love, well... if you find love you've gotta hold it and embrace it. i've never been happier and have found that being with an older man is so so much better, where as some men (boys) my age act about 12. Age is nothing but a number.. so no sweat girls... its the way forward for lasting relationships!! bring on 05/06/2010! Vicky xxxx
  • There is 12 yeasrs between my H2B and me and I've never felt like there's an age gap between us. There's definitely no-one that I feel more in love with.We're getting married in 2012.x
  • kerriganchankerriganchan Posts: 1,019
    Compare to some of you lovely ladies, h2b and I don't really have much of an age gap, just 4 years. But even so, we have friends who do have a bigger age gap of 20+ years and as long as that works for the couple it shouldn't matter what anyone else says or thinks! xXx
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