A very quiet Wedding


I started to write the story of our wedding on another thread `The Final count down' so there is a bit there which may be of interest. However I thought it might deserve a thread of its own so here we go ladies. If you would like to read on then watch this space!

June 2008 The question of marriage

We are sitting in the conservatory at home. This house has been our home for the last four years ever since David and I decided to join forces. We've just finished our evening meal and are now sitting together sharing a moment or two before getting on with what ever we are going to be doing for the rest of the evening.

David says ???????I want to ask you something??????? he sounds serious.

???????What??????? I turn towards him on the couch.

???????Will you marry me????????

???????Why??????? I ask somewhat startled by his unexpected question.

He considers me for a moment and then explains that although we have been together for a while he now feels that without the formality of marriage there is something missing from his life. He says his life would feel more complete if we were to marry.

If this is my Yorkshiremans way of saying he can't live without me then it's probably the closest he can come to being romantic.

???????Thank you for asking I say gravely ???????I will give it some serious thought???????.



It takes two weeks of thinking before I can give an answer. My mind skitters from yes to no to yes again. Why am I hesitating? David's reason for wanting to get married suggests that he is happy with our relationship and wants it to continue.

If I have no doubts about David's motives and I love him and think we fit well together it must be something in me holding me back. Do I feel disloyal towards my first husband the father of my two children? He died in an accident over 30 years ago so I'm pretty sure there is no unhealthy guilt around still.

I know David loves me so am I afraid that once married he will change his mind? Maybe but why would he? I conclude I'm just afraid of change. Oh what the heck, live dangerously ditch the parachute!

Once again sitting on the couch after tea.

???????Remember what you asked me about getting married????????

???????Yes Pet I do???????.

???????Is it still an option????????

???????Yes Pet it is???????.

???????Well then I'd be honoured???????

???????Is that a yes then????????

???????Yes it is???????!

We look at each other and giggle. We are two Togs both approaching 60 years of age [but from the wrong direction] and we are behaving like a couple of star struck kids!



We begin to talk about what our wedding might be like. We agree on a small affair attended by just a few family members.

???????Just a quiet affair??????? David states emphatically.



to be continued...

Posts

  • daisylozdaisyloz Posts: 3,109
    Oh this is fabulous Betrothed ! Cant wait to read on.......xx
  • What a sweet story!

    Many thanks for sharing.

    Can't wait for the next part image
  • Oh how lovely. What a refreshing change. I genuinely can't wait for part 2...
  • new-mrsbnew-mrsb Posts: 2,015 New bride
    oh nice one, lovely start, i'm sitting comfortably please do carry on .....................................................



    ps am going to have to click the "notify me" button on this one

    [Modified by: new - mrs b on September 20, 2009 06:38 PM]

  • The Date

    We had originally thought we would have the ceremony in September of that year and then for reasons outwith our control it was to be October instead. However that one was not ideal for various family members although they agreed they would do their best to be there. Someone pointed out that as it was to be our special day perhaps we should stop trying to accommodate others and go for what we wanted.

    Once again sitting on the couch with the sun just sinking behind the tall garden hedge. The garden is in shadow meaning we can open our eyes in the conservatory. This is a beautiful living space full of bright light any time of day but when the sun is shinning or is low in the sky it can be a bit uncomfortable.

    ???????David??????? I say

    ???????Yes??????? A twitch of the eyebrows lets me know that he knows I'm up to something.

    ???????I've had an idea, what if we were to delay the wedding till the first Sunday in August 2009???????

    ???????Why then??????? He's looking quizzical now.

    ???????Well it would coincide with the survivors' ceilidh at Speyfest meaning we could have a small wedding party for the actual ceremony but invite all the friends we wanted to the ceilidh later in the day. It would be fun??????? I add.

    He sighs heavily. It's a sigh of relief I gather as he tells me he thought I meant get married at Speyfest and he didn't want to get married in a tent. A tent! The Speyfest Marquee represents an icon, it's huge and as it's erected each year it revives memories, echoes of all the Speyfests from the last 13 years and they are precious to me.



    So that's settled then we will marry on the Sunday 2.8.2009. This is also last day of Speyfest, the Celtic musical festival held every year at F. There's only one slight problem, I'm in charge of organising the Speyfest Craft Fair on Saturday 1.8.2009 the day before the wedding. It's quite a big affair these days but I've been doing it for nine years ago so I reckon I can cope.



    We tell the family we are changing the date but agree not to tell very many other people that we are getting married. I feel the need to hug the secret to me. David just hates being the centre of attention so tells no one.





    Who is to take our service?

    David and I discuss this at length as it's very important to both of us that we find a person who will be able to reflect our own thoughts about what marriage means to us and about the way we want to portray our ideas of our spirituality.



    I look on the internet for interfaith ministers. I have had experience of this ministry [if that is the right word] when someone I knew who was an Interfaith minister offered to preside at my Mum's funeral. I learnt then that they could provide a service that was inclusive of any beliefs, faiths or ideas and therefore could be made personal to the people concerned.



    Through the interfaith website I find A. A and W. R. They are both Interfaith Ministers but W also acts as a photographer when A takes a ceremony. They live very close to us and just across the road from Shambala.



    I contact A and David and I go to meet her. Very quickly we make up our minds that she is the person who will help us create our ceremony and will act as minister for our wedding vows. We also decide that Wis the perfect person to take our photographs.



    Now begins the process of the creation of our ceremony. It must be a ceremony that will be significant to both of us. This undertaking causes me to think again and possibly more deeply about why I was agreeing to marriage and what I think being married will do for me. In a moment of insight I realise that after Michael's died I have felt somehow incomplete as if his early demise had wrenched something from me [my heart]? And now, with the forthcoming marriage I hope I have an opportunity to heal from within rather than just wear a scab that may get knocked off if I'm not careful to protect it all the time.



  • The Red Dress

    How important is it to get the right dress? It's very important any bride will tell you this no matter what age she is. The dress makes a statement about her and about how she wants her husband to view her. This is the day above all others when she wants to be the centre of attention and therefore the dress must show her to her best advantage.



    I consult V who has made clothes for me before. V says she will dress me. [She doesn't make clothes, she dresses people]. She also has a briard a breed of dog of which I'm very fond so naturally I see her as absolutely the right person to guide me!



    V shows me material and we discuss colours. She tells me she thinks she knows what style will suit me. It's will have a fifties look with a wide neckline and will fit closely from below the bust to the hips. The shirt will be floor length, fairly strait at the front and fuller with short a train that will fan out behind.

    ???????It will be very elegant???????. She says.

    ???????Very Audrey Hepburn??????? Say I!



    As I go to leave her shop I notice a bale of material lying on a stool beside the door. It's wine coloured duchess silk with large flowers in a velvet finish in colours of deep pink and deep blue. These colours change to mauve and black depending which way they are viewed. I stop short and take a second look.

    ???????Ah??????? says V ???????She has found her material???????!



    I have but don't know it. I look at hundreds of other samples on the internet and I order quite a few too. But keep coming back to the one that V has hidden away for me behind the rail in her shop. In January 2009 I make my final decision the one V knew I would make right from the start. It's to be a red wedding dress then.



    By the end of May 2009 the dress is finished. I step into it for its last fitting. I stand tall as I look at my reflection in her long mirror. The dress is stunning and so graceful and elegant. I have been through paroxysms of insecurity about it. [I have even bought another dress from a second hand shop. It's very much in the style of my wedding dress but is a terrific peacock blue colour]. I don't understand now as I look at myself in the mirror why I could not trust V's judgment after all she is the professional. I think I just needed to be reassured that there was a back up if anything were to go wrong at the last minute. So buying the other dress has taken away my anxiety about this prospect. I also want David to be proud of me on our wedding day. Looking at my reflection now I'm greatly reassured.



    To be continued....
  • new-mrsbnew-mrsb Posts: 2,015 New bride
    you write so elegantly, can't wait for next bit
  • daisylozdaisyloz Posts: 3,109
    me too...hurry up!!
  • daisyteandaisytean Posts: 1,382
    you sound just like me and my new husband when we were planning our special day - took us 5 years to get round to it too and I asked all the same questions as you! As older brides, it does feel different, but I can assure you, the end result is well worth it - it feels fabulous to be married again in your 50's.

    Am looking forward to continuing with your story ....



  • Hello ladies,

    Thank you for your kind comments. I'm glad you are enjoying our story. I'm enjoying writing it.



    I tried to put a picture on tonight but failed so I'll come back to that in time. Can anyone can help me here? I do have some photos on photo bucket the problem is getting them to show as pictures on here!

    Here's a bit more of the story...



    The Music

    The North East of Scotland has a well earnt tradition for musicians and music of all persuasions and talents. However I don't seem to find anyone and our wedding day is drawing ever closer.



    And then S contacts me asking about a table a table at Speyfest Craft Fair. She describes herself as a wood-carving musician. Unfortunately I have to tell her there are no spaces left but go on to ask her what she plays and having learnt she sings and accompanies herself on the guitar semi professionally. I ask her to send us a demo CD.

    Her singing voice is quite magical and she seems he right person. When asked she readily agrees to provide the live music at our wedding. So she must have been the one we've been waiting for.

    The piece of music I most want played for my processional piece is `Going Home' from the film Local Hero. It's evocative of the beauty of the northeast coast, of people coming together in strange ways where impossible things do happen. We also choose `Fields of Gold' `Song Bird' and `End of the Line' by the travelling Wilburies for the recessional as it is upbeat and quirky and reminiscent of us aging flower children.



    A late entry `Every River' by Runrig is due to be sung before my arrival. [But I have it now on the slide show of our day. It is backing the most romantic of the shots and it never fails to bring a tear to my eye when I watch and listen as S sings it with such passion].



    In the days before our wedding day.....

    The week before our wedding includes Speyfest of course! I have not told the committee about our decision to get married. But I have asked our chairman J if I may announce it under any other business at our last meeting on the Wednesday before the start of Speyfest. He says yes and asks am going to make the announcement myself or would I like him to do it for me? I would as I am afraid my voice will break when I speak!



    The last meeting before Speyfest always convenes in the main Marquee and it's no different this year. We take our places in what is to be the beer tent amidst a cacophony of shouts and hammering as the last adjustments are made to all the tents, the sound and lighting systems and other essential components.



    At the end of the meeting J says he has one matter to announce. I know what he is about to say and feel a rush of embarrassment. Thank goodness I asked him to do this!

    ???????You may wonder??????? he says ???????why on Sunday when the rest of us will be working our socks off Liz will not be turning up till 6 o'clock???????

    He turns to look at me, I feel myself colouring up.

    ???????Because, he continues, she is getting married that morning???????!

    As he says this last bit a bust of hammering brakes out behind us. I dare not look at people, have they heard his announcement or will he need to say it again?



    A ripple of sound runs along the rows of people sitting on chairs or on the stage behind. They have heard all right, shouts, clapping and congratulations brake out. It is such a relief now that the word now is out.



    Today has been a very emotional day. I have also told my colleagues at work who responded in a similar manner to my friends on the Speyfest committee. I leave the Speyfest field feeling quite drained. And I want to get home to David to share my experiences with him. It's been quite a day!



    The last three days before our wedding day seem to slip by very quickly. The various bands at Speyfest on Thursday and Friday night go down a storm. The atmosphere is electric, the crowds noisily appreciative. During the night on Friday once the crowds have left the field we set up the tables for the Craft Fair... I get home at 3.30am and am back on the field by 5.45am to try to fit my floor plan to what is actually possible on the day. This is always a stressful time and as an aid to my concentration I like to do it alone.



    Soon people begin to arrive. I love the atmosphere when the stalls are set up and the general public begin to arrive. Word gets round about our plans for the following day. People are so kind congratulations showered upon me and on David when he comes in later to bring me a flask of coffee. His ears seem to stay bight pink the whole time he is here.

















    [Modified by: Bet Rothed on September 21, 2009 09:33 PM]

  • This is lovely, I actually have tears in my eyes.



    I'm so happy for you and your husband xx
  • Beautiful xx
  • The night before our wedding day.

    And now it is Saturday evening tired but satisfied that the Craft Fair has been a success I come home to an empty house apart from Leo our dog. David had gone to pick up his daughter from the airport. They are to spend the night at Shambala to be there to set up in the morning and for David to follow the tradition of not seeing the bride the night before the wedding.



    It is only now that I begin to fully focus again on what I am about to do. I have a bit of a wobble but put it down to tiredness which, as I am the one who wanted to take on the Craft Fair today [People said I was mad]!! I feel I have to deal with it the best way I can. I tell myself firmly that I have had a year to check out my feelings about getting married and five years living with David to get to know him and to deepen my love for him, any last minute wobbles are more to do with my fears about change rather than any doubts about my feelings for him or his feelings for me. I do phone a friend and share some of this with her. Her handling of my fears is of further reassurance.



    I go to bed but wake during the night feeling confused as I become aware of a change, a shift within me. It comes to me that I have been a widow for 33 years. Even though I have had other relationships seemingly I have thought of myself as a widow and now my status is too change from tomorrow onwards. Even after all these years a small part has continued to cry out against the unfairness of this life. That my husband should die at such a young age meant that we were both robbed of a life spent together with our children. That part of me [the widow], has remained angered and saddened. I become aware of a sensation, a gentle pressure as if David's arms are around me. It's as if he is here with me. In that instant I understand there need be no separation, `no other world', and no time when connection is lost. I fall into a dreamless sleep.



    I think I'll start a new thred for the rest of the story as there is quite a bit of scrolling down to do now so look out for A very quiet wedding part two tomorrow [If I get it written for then] xx Bet



  • new-mrsbnew-mrsb Posts: 2,015 New bride
    oh this is lovely, so happy and yet a tinge of sadness too, thith regards to the pics, you need to copy and paste the properties link on photobucket to here clicking on the img above first and last, if you have any problems email me the link and i will gladly put them up for you.



  • [Modified by: Bet Rothed on September 22, 2009 03:24 PM]

  • I did it! I posted the picture! Thank you for the advice about how to do this its sunk in at last now I have to go and write it down so I don't forget again! the picture is of The Red Dress. Bet x



    Oh rats where did it go? it was there I saw it. Oh well back to the drawing board!



    I was going to use a new thred but have decided to keep going on this one so here we go are you sitting comfortably?





    Our Wedding Day

    I awake feeling as if I've shed a skin! The thoughts that woke me in the night seem somewhat self indulgent now but I guess the whole question of marriage has caused me to re visit times in my life that I thought I'd left far behind. I start to sing shiny happy people as I throw back the covers and..... well maybe not jump but I do get out of bed with some aplomb. I feel bright and shiny and new! This is it then, I tell myself this is the day. I want to savour very moment and every sensation.



    I think of David waking at Shambala. I wonder what he is doing and what he is thinking. I hope he has enjoyed the time spent alone with his daughter. I also hope he is receiving the waves of love and support I'm sending his way for this is quite a day for him too.



    Leo and I walk down the lane in sunshine. The colours of nature seem very intense. I look around me marking and memorising everything I see, hear and feel. The sunshine casts early morning shadows across the fields and a light wind stirs the tree tops. What a gem of a morning! But there is no time for too much indulgence I'm due at Shambala at 11.30 which is quite early but we have timed the beginning of our ceremony to coincide with high tide in the bay which reaches right up to the garden's edge.



    Soon the family arrives followed by my hairdresser and the lady who will do our make up. The air in the conservatory hums with activity and girly chatter. My 12 year old granddaughter A. looks simply gorgeous in a burgundy long frock and her Mum is very Art Deco in a dress with a swirly pattern in bright green, yellow and white on a black background. [There is no colour code for the wedding it's a matter of wear what you really want to wear].

    My 10 year old grandson is so smart and proud in his Rangers tartan and his Bonnie Prince Charlie jacket.

    He asks is it Ok to wear his Kilt in the traditional fashion, no underwear. Sooner him than me I suspect the material will be quite scratchy against tender shin!!

    .

    The journey in the bus.

    We are ready by the time our bus driven by a good friend of ours arrives to take us all over to Shambala. The bus is really a bit of a heap, it rattles and the skylight is held shut with string. It's not a wedding vehicle at all but seems right for the occasion after all neither the bride nor the groom are in the first flush of youth!



    I'm handed into the bus after everyone else is on board. Leo is at my feet. He's wearing his new `bling' collar. We travel out towards the coast through a tunnel of beech trees. We make small talk, will it rain? We hope not but the sky is clouding up and trees are now being shaken by quite a strong wind.



    The Arrival at Shambala

    The sky is looking quite ominous over the bay with huge grey/white clouds sailing before an almost gale force wind. Too late we remember that as the tide reaches its highest point the wind will often increase accordingly. We get off the bus and several of us including me look apprehensive as goose bumps break out all over any exposed flesh!



    Our photographer W confirms there is a very strong wind up on the terrace. He asks do we want to go ahead or move down to the ball room for the ceremony.



    The decision is mine `ARRRH' I hesitate, worrying that I will make the wrong decision but decide to go with my first thought that we do not want to be up on the terrace too cold to concentrate and wishing that it would be over soon when there is a beautiful room just vacated by the Taize singers with the Buddhist shrine as a backdrop available inside. W assures us it will take no time at all to get set up down there and while they are doing that he'll take some arrival pictures.



    We get back on the bus but taking the pictures proves to be less than easy, Our clan are chilly and also long legged. They shoot out of the bus and sprint for the cover of the portico over Shambala's front door. We do manage one reasonable shot of me stepping down from the bus assisted by my son, then a good one of us all lined up on the grass as if we had just arrived on foot. It's back on the bus once again to wait to be called.

    Once inside we remove our shoes before entering the ballroom. The Buddhist shrine is within and it is considered a mark of disrespect to enter with shoes on. I love the idea of going bare foot and I revel in the feel of the warm wooden floors beneath my feet.



    [Later two wives say to me their hearts were in their mouths as their respective husbands removed their shoes. Had they got matching socks on? Were there any holes]?



    The Wedding Ceremony

    I hear the opening strains of my processional music. Going Home is such an evocative piece to me. I feel very emotional all of a sudden. David is in there waiting for me and I really do love him. When he sees me what will he think? I hesitate not wanting to go too soon, enjoying the anticipation as the music calls to me. I give my sons arm a little squeeze as together with the grand children in attendance we move slowly forward. Slowly then past the Buddhist shrine with its candles and many coloured banners.



    David is standing in the huge bay window with a frothy, choppy Findhorn bay covered in white horses behind him. His face is in shadow but I just know he is smiling, welcoming me in. [Or maybe he's just a bit relieved to see me arrive]. I smile back across the slowly narrowing strip of wooden flooring.

    To be continued.....





    [Modified by: Bet Rothed on September 22, 2009 11:12 PM]

  • I turn as I reach his side and together we listen to the last notes of music die away. An, our minister stands in the centre of the bay window with S across from us. Our friends and family are in two half circles one behind the other and facing the window. This configuration forms a circle that is inclusive of everyone. The view over the garden, the sea and out to the sky with its racing clouds and sudden bursts of brilliant sunshine is also available to everyone who wishes to look.



    Our minister welcomes us all and thanks our friends and family for coming today. She mentions those who can not be present and suggests we include them in our thoughts.



    In places the ceremony is very moving. There are tears in my eyes as I silently sing along with S the words from Fields of Gold `I never make promises lightly, and there have been some I have broken but I swear in the days still left' we will walk in fields of gold'.



    There is humour as well as emotion and even drama when David notices through the window two Ospreys hovering very close just off the shoreline. [He is an avid bird watcher]. His jaw clenches but he doesn't leap to his feet nor does he whip binoculars from his pocket to look at them all the more clearly! What self control! And what a truly spiritual moment, a coming together of all things natural in the shape of the hovering Osprey above the bay just moments before we take our vows. We are so blessed.



    An asks us all to stand as now is the time for us to take our vows. She asks us the following questions.

    David and Liz

    Do you promise to give of the best of yourselves, and ask of each other no more than you can give?



    Do you promise to respect one another and realize that the interests, desires and needs of each are no less important than your own?



    D you promise to share your time and attention with each other and to bring joy, strength and imagination to your relationship.



    Do you promise to keep yourselves open to each other to let each other see through the window of your world into your innermost fears, feelings, secrets and dreams?



    Do you promise to grow along with each other, and to be willing to face changes in order to keep your relationship alive and exiting?



    Do you promise to love one another in good times and in bad with all you have to give and all you feel inside in the only way you know how?



    Do you make these promises with the intention to keep them completely and for ever?



    We look at each other and answer ???????we do??????? to each one.



    My Grandson then hands the wedding ring to our minister. He has been keeping it safely in his sporran and just a little concerned he might not be able to open it at the given moment.

    ???????This circle is symbolic of the son, the earth, and the sacred mystery, a symbol of wholeness and peace??????? states An as she holds up the ring.

    ???????In the form of this ring may it stand as a symbol of your love for each other and the embrace that surrounds you invisibly nourishing you???????

    She passes the ring to David who places it on my finger. It slips on smoothly and settles there comfortably. I'm trembling slightly but it's with a joyful emotion, we are now officially man and wife.

    Our minister introduces us to our family as the new Mr and Mrs D. David kisses me and we share a private smile. There is a storm of clapping and happy chatter as S plays the opening bars to `End of the Line' which is our recessional music. The music is very upbeat and people are joining in with the words. What a group of old hippies we are that we know the words al all! .



    And now for the photos. First we go upstairs to the abandoned terrace. It's still wild up there. With the sound of the wind and sight of the boiling se it's a bit like being on the prow of a large sailing ship.

    Next we go down to the garden. The sun so reluctant to appear after its early promise now greets us on full beam. It's hard not to squint for the camera. Leo joins us in the garden. He's like a coiled spring but manages to stay on all four feet for most of the time. He's so photogenic and resplendent in his bling collar he almost steals the show.



    Our photographer asks David and I to sit amongst the long grass in a quieter corner of the garden away from the wind. We cuddle and then quite languidly come together in a long kiss. I feel almost hypnotised by the sudden quiet air and the scents that envelop us now.



    ???????Someone get a bucket of water for goodness sake??????? Calls my friend D.

    I know she is immediately regretting her `big mouth' but I think the comment is very funny and I bless her for her earthy humour. The shot of our laughing response is to be one of my favourite photos!



    We think we have finished the photos but W is on a roll.

    ???????Let's just go onto the shore???????. He suggests. We are soon arranging ourselves on a fallen log appropriated from three young boys who have been playing there. They graciously make way for us leaving a sense of fun for us to enjoy ourselves.



    As W takes more photos from various angles I look across the bay towards Forres. Suddenly a little pensive I remember living there when I first arrived in Scotland. It seems a long time ago and much has happened since. What is before us now I wonder?



    The tide is still high, the waves approach and retreat across the pebbles. The soft whoosh, whoosh hypnotises me all over again There is a sense of timelessness, of no time, of all time now. I don't question this but simply accept.





    It's time to join the others and then take our leave David is driving. We set off in a flurry of waves and good wishes. He hesitates waiting for everyone to get in to their vehicles and follow.

    ???????Leave it??????? I say feeling suddenly irritated that he is always so on duty making sure others are OK. I immediately regret my outburst. This is what he is about. What got into me I wonder?

    ???????They'll be OK??????? I say more gently. They can follow the bus.



    We are met at home by our caterers who are a little edgy as we are very late and they need to get on they have a Ruby Wedding anniversary to prepare for tonight. We agree that we can help ourselves.

    ???????No don't wait to serve us you get off we will be fine???????.

    And we are! We are eating in the conservatory where it all began. All the doors are open but it's not too hot and the sun does not glare at us. Rather it comes and goes behind white clouds lighting up the garden colours and calling out the young sparrows, chaffinches and Gold Crests to feast at their own tables. At the end of our meal together David and I cut the cake and raise a glass or two or three to each and everyone and all of us.



    More anyone shall I go on? there is just one more chapter to go? Bet X



  • samoooosamoooo Posts: 288
    Please do go on, it's lovely image And photos would be great
  • new-mrsbnew-mrsb Posts: 2,015 New bride
    need you ask? can't wait, and some more pics too please
  • The wedding Dance

    People who are coming to Speyfest with us are now arriving. Other friends are waiting for us there. We've changed into more casual clothes as the flooring of the Marquee will not be in the same cleanly state it was four days ago. I do not want to subject the red dress to this affront!



    Our bus drops us off safely outside the gates and I'm overtaken by the thrill I always feel when I see the Speyfest field. There are groups of people sitting on the grass outside chatting, singing and generally enjoying themselves. Others are up dancing as the music from within the tent can be plainly heard outside. Inside he band currently on stage is obviously reaching its climax. Drums throb and fiddles soar and bagpipes scream out in strident harmony. My heart thumps and my feet can't help but pick up the rhythm.



    There are several friends, committee members in the ticket office. Unbeknown to me they have been waiting anxiously for our arrival. There's much congratulating, hugging and very soon we are all crossing the field towards the Green Roomsituated behind the main Marquee. There is security on the door in the shape of S known affectionately as `Crusher'. He's about 7' 6'' and almost as wide. He hugs me and congratulates us. David declines the proffered hug-he's a brave man! There is quite a crowd of people in the Green Room Many come forward to offer good wishes congratulations and someone opens a bottle of Champaign. People are so genuinely happy for us and so kind to have organized this welcoming party. There are tears in my eyes as I speak and laugh. I am completely over whelmed and have no idea whether I'm making any sense atoll!



    Our chairman joins us and after offering his congratulations he asks will we go on stage while he makes an announcement!! Oh goodness me our quiet wedding is turning into anything but!! Yet I really want to do this. By sharing our news with everyone there we help to keep the crowd interested while the stage is set up for the next band. It will get people going; get them enjoying the moment with us and for us. It will add to their and our memories of Speyfest 2009. I turn to David; he's looking sick but agrees to do it. I love him even more in that moment than I did before.



    We don't have long to wait and soon we are all on stage in front of five or six hundred people with J announcing over the loud speakers that this is our wedding day. The crowd, many of whom we know well cheer, clap, stamp and whistle loudly.



    Then with J on keyboards and a young man whom I've known for years who plays the fiddle superbly but who's name I just can't recall at this moment begin to play `Marie's wedding' . Many people join in with the words as it is very well known but substitute words in the chorus. `Marie's' wedding' becomes `Liz and David's wedding.



    And the committee are not finished with us yet. Silver balloons appear for us to hold as still on stage we are presented with huge cake to cut. It has a committee members badge scanned onto the icing. I am overwhelmed all over again by all these acts of generous kindness. We wave to the crowd before we stepping down from the stage where we find can't move for people lining up to hug me and shake David's hand. I hardly dare look at David but he is still at my side. What a man!



    And what an evening this is becoming. Memories are laid down in snatches now. First talking to our friends who have come along to share our wedding dance with us, later dancing with some of them to a very lively French Canadian band called Mauvis Sort.

    Momentarily alone I drink a coffee as I stand outside in the gathering dusk just quietly watching the light fade over this village that I have come to love.

    Much later standing arm in arm with David and some of the others as we lean back against the rails surrounding the sound desk listening and clapping to the last band of the night. This is our own Cachd-ach-Cruaidh. [Loosely translated as shite but loud]! They have a singing style all of their own and can keep the crowd on their feet right to the end with their renderings of songs such as `I would walk ten thousand miles' and `Mustang Sally'.



    and then its home time. As we are ferried through the dark country side,in our faithful bus David and I lean into each other. Our family surrounds us. We are all quiet, lost in our own thoughts.



    I turn to my love, my husband now `This has been our Day of Days' I say softly.

    ???????Isn't that a Runrig song title???????? He asks. Which of course it is but it's the best way I have to describe what I'm thinking now.

    ???????Remind me about today the next time you decide to arrange a quiet do??????? He says. But I can see the twinkle in his eye and his slightly crooked smile in the glow from the headlights of an oncoming car.

    ???????You love me really??????? I murmur. It's not a question but he answers me anyway with a gentle kiss in the dark.







    Looking back

    I so glad that we had over a year to prepare for marriage and for the ceremony as any rush would have detracted from the process and what was to be our wonderful day. I have had the chance to plan it on all levels and some things have evolved in there own time. I may have settled for what was possible as opposed to what was perfect. David has read this as I have gone along and he agrees with what I've written here.



    Being married does feel very different from our living together and it's a very good feeling too. The part of me that I have called the widow is quiet now. She no longer needs to protect me from perceived dangerous relationships. I believe she knows I my husband is a good man who is worth keeping.



    I offer my heartfelt thanks to all who became involved in our wedding in what ever way. Thanks to those ladies on this website who offered help, guidance and advice when asked. And now thanks to you who have stayed the course and read our story. Perhaps it has inspired you. At the very least I hope you have enjoyed it.

    My love to you.



    The new Mrs D.

    Sept 2009





























  • AWSOME !!!!!!!!!



    & CONGRATULATIONS !!!!!
  • daisylozdaisyloz Posts: 3,109
    Many thanks hunny that was really wonderful...all the best for your futures xx
  • new-mrsbnew-mrsb Posts: 2,015 New bride
    Really enjoyed it
  • Thank you ladies I appreciate your interest and feedback very much indeed. Its been great sharing our story with you you it really has.



    Oh by the way I was asked to post some pictures and I'm very proud of myself as I did manage to do in the end. I've posted them on another thread called pictures from a very quiet wedding. So if you haven't seen them and you would like to then thats where they are!



    With love bet X
  • ktgukktguk Posts: 80
    lovely! really lovely... hope you both are very happy x
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