How young is a young bride?

Hi



I'll be 23 when i get married and will also be the 1st of my group of friends to do so (making me feel younger i suppose). I got engaged not long after i turned 21 and have been with my H2B since i was 18.



Even though we've been together nearly 5 years i still get annoyed when people say "oh but you're soo young to get married!" or the comments about getting engaged quite young. It annoys me because those same people say nothing when a 30 something gets engaged/married when they've been with their partner a significantly shorter length of time.



This has turned into a bit of a rant (sorry) and i'm sure many of you are younger than me so that got me thinking - how young is a younger bride?



(another "young" annoyance - i feel my caterer gives me no respect due to my age - grr!)
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Posts

  • MrsR4evaMrsR4eva Posts: 1,246
    i was 20 the first time, met at 16 engaged at 18 and married at 20 ..at the time everyone said your too young i didnt feel it .. looking back yes i think i was slighty too young ....

    23 isnt too young i dont think
  • JoeyClareJoeyClare Posts: 2,737
    I got engaged just after I turned 21. When I marry I will be 24 (just). I'm similar to you. I am the first to get married out of the friends I went to school with. When we first got engaged, some family commented that they hoped we would have a longer engagement. It will have been nearly 3 years! So I think that is long enough.



    So far I have been lucky in that I haven't been treated differently for my age whilst planning the wedding, even though I can easily be mistaken for being 16/17!
  • Mrs-DCMrs-DC Posts: 142
    I feel for you! I've known my H2B since we were 13, together since 16, engaged since 21 and will be married at 23! I'm the 3rd of my group of friends (bizarre) and 2nd of my school friends to be getting married. It's not too young at all, you've been together for ages! Don't worry about the comments, remember it's water off a duck's back! image There are ladies on here engaged at 18 so we arnt young at all (I'm 22)! I'm told I look 16 / 17 too. Just think you'll be looking young through your life and married to your love for a long time!

    Assert yourself, opinion is opinion! People will judge, that's nature but trust in your relationship. That's what counts!



    All the best for your planning! PS When's the big day? image
  • Im 24 and will be getting married a couple of months before my 25th birthday, my partner will be 28. Quite a few ppl i went to school with have already got married, about 5 i spose, and a few from a neighbouring school.

    I dont think it comes to age, i think its down to maturity and genuin love and happiness.

    I would of been with my partner nearly 6 and a half years by the time we say our vows and already have a 2 year old together to getting married seemed to be the next step in our relationship. I love him and he loves me so thats all that matters! Ignore other peoples judgment! its your day not theres! image xx
  • NowMrsMackNowMrsMack Posts: 2,535
    I'm 21, and we are planning to marry December next year (2012) when I'll be 22!!



    We've mostly had positive comments, and while my mum is really happy for us, I think she wants us to have a long engagement and get married in 2014. My h2b and I are moving out in the first few months into our own home with a mortgage, but I think she's going to kick up a bit of a fuss when we tell her inn the new year our plan.



    But we'll have been engaged for a year and a half, and as long as we can afford everything without debt, and are totally ready for it, it it shouldn't be an issue should it?
  • mrsjenny2012mrsjenny2012 Posts: 258
    My big day is the 25th February 2012! not long now!



    Thanks for the responses ladies - i know everyone is different and its how you feel about the relationship that counts.



    ps. i get constantly ID'd - even for buying non-alcoholic beer!
  • kayleigh22kayleigh22 Posts: 147
    I've been with my h2b since l was 17, engaged since 19 and fnially getting married at 23 (in just under 4 weeks) and l get "aww you don't look old enough" when l went wedding dress shopping the assistant took one look at me and got out prom dresses, lol.

    I'm the first one to get married in my generation of family, but l've had mainly positive back from my family. I think of myself as lucky, not many women met mr right when they are young image
  • iAmyroseiAmyrose Posts: 4
    yup, i get the 'too young' thing all the time, even though im 21 in november. i'll be 23 when we get married, but later in the year, 24!



    I'm also the first one out of my group of friends and old school friends to be engaged and be getting married, and when people haven't seen you for a long time they expect you to still be 17 years old and exacly how you were at school!



    i sometimes feel 'too young' but it's only because i've never done anything like this before! i'm loving it though image
  • barbie_86barbie_86 Posts: 626
    I'll be 27, nearly 28, yet feel young. I'd never imagined I'd get married in my 20's, I always thought I'd be at least 30, and it looks like I'll be the first of my friends to marry (unless they have a shot gun wedding lol as none of them have long-term partners).



    That said, I've been with my OH nearly 6 years now (I'm nearly 25, he's 25) and would marry him tomorrow if we could afford it.



    I don't think it's so much age as where you are in life; I think life experience is important, and I also think it's good to be settled, not just with your partner, but in life in general. I've seen couples who were close at university move apart because they've realised once they started working that they want very different things in life and have different ambitions, which have caused tensions. I would also say that I have changed A LOT as a person since I was 18, or even 20/21, and I think this is quite common. I also think it's a seriously bad idea to marry someone until you're WELL past the honeymoon period; I'd say getting engaged before 2.5 years together is premature, as things do change.
  • mrslewis12mrslewis12 Posts: 121
    I don't think anyone has the right to define the right age to marry it is unique to each and every person.

    One of my friends married 2 weeks after turning 18 and is still happily married. : )

    Im 23 but will be 24 when I marry next year and I've had some people comment on how I'm too young and should concentrate on my career and experience life before settling down! I had my daughter at 19 and am currently completing my last year of training to be a primary teacher and I think to be honest im extremely lucky to have it all. I feel much older than my years and can't wait to be married and enjoy married life, a good career and children (good forbid all at once!;))

    As long as your happy and doing it for the right reasons don't listen to what other people say! : )
  • I am 22, when I get married in December I will still be 22 and H2B will be 23, we have been together since the age of 14 and now is exactly the right time to get married for us! Age is just a number! =) x
  • MrsSandisonMrsSandison Posts: 458
    We have been together since we were 14/15. We got engaged when I was 17!!! (that does seem young now!) We got married April 16th of this year, when I was 21 and he was 22 (I am nearly 22 and he's 23 soon).



    Yes, I do think we were/still are young but this was meant to be. We've helped each other so much, we are both family orientated people, we are not your typical young couple, we don't go out clubbing and falling out of night clubs drunk. We are both mature, and have been since we met, at christian summer camp. As my mum liked to say at the time, I had an old head on young shoulders.

    We get compared to old married couples.

    You can't say someone is too young to get married, its everyones own opinion when they are ready to get married.



    Some people find love when they are young, some old, some in their forties. Whatever age, you know if you are doing it for the right reason.
  • NooeyNooey Posts: 413
    Hello!

    Well I was 20 when I met my other half who is 13 years older. We got engaged when I was 23 and I ave just turned 25 and we will marry on 10th September this year - not long now.

    I am the first of my close friends to get married but have met several women my age through work who are also getting married. I think it's whatever seems right to you. We will have been together for 5 years and lived together for 4 years so it just seems the right time.

    I have had comments from other suggesting I am young but I am happy as is my H2B and our family so not bothered by others comments.
  • Snowy xSnowy x Posts: 1,100
    I got engaged at 19, and married 8 weeks after my 20th birthday, still very happily married, and now planning our Vow renewal for 10th anniversary!
  • JP2BEJP2BE Posts: 262
    I've been with my H2B since we were 16, we got engaged when we were 20 and we're getting married in 2013 when we will be 24. I'm the first of my friends to book our date (I have another friend who's engaged but are planning a long one) and when we got engaged people kept saying we were too young but I don't think so. I competely agree with your comment along the lines of 'people aged 30 get engaged after a significantly shorter time'- it's so true!
  • danni988danni988 Posts: 108
    I got with my h2b when I was 18, got engaged at 19. My family were all very supportive but did discourage me from marrying straight away. I'm now 23 getting married finally next yr, I think it was gd in a way we did a lot of growin up and it's finally the right time to do it. Don't get discouraged by caters etc not respectin u at the end of the day u can always go elsewhere! X
  • Hey,

    We got engaged when i was 19, and I will be a month off 22 when we get married next year image OH will be 23.

    So far the feedback has been pretty positive, the only problems we have had are from either strangers or people that don't know us very well.

    I think it depends on the relationship though, our family and friends can see how happy we are and that we are totally ready for marriage, and that is all that matters image

    xxx
  • jem-x0xjem-x0x Posts: 10
    i got engaged when i was 22, im 23 now and will be 24 when i get married. a few of my friends have got married already although just recently, i personally have had a lot of negative comments, ive had people say things like " why do you just want to get your whole life over oin one big rush and not live your life " it has annoyed me bt ive just fired back with "since when did getting married become the end of your life its the start of your life with someone you love ", people seem to think that if you get marred you have to stay at home and play house and you cant go out anymore, personally i think that when you get married nothing changes between you and your friends you can stil see them, go on nights out and go to work and do everything you want to do and more, if people think you missing out on having a good time because your not out on boozy nites out where you tumble into bed with the firt stranger that comes along and then spend the rest of the day regretting it then you really arent missing out on much xx
  • im getting married at just turned 23, been with other half since i was just turned 16, got engaged at 21, and have two children with him lol
  • JoeyClareJoeyClare Posts: 2,737
    Been a while since I read this thread. Like lots of the ladies have said, age is just a number. I think we get judged as young because the 'average' wedding age is 30 for a woman now. My mum was married at 22 (in 1986) and nobody considered that young at all. My parents have just celebrated their silver wedding anniversary. image



    My cousin married at 19 and a few comments were made at the time with people betting how long it would last and she is about to celebrate 13 years.



    I agree with the comment that life experience can change you. I was with an ex from the ae of 15 till nearly 20. Going to university changed us both massively and we were too different.
  • The only people who have opinions on this which matter are you and your H2B.



    When I was 17 I started dating someone I had known since I was 12. We moved all over the country, bought a house together, did everything. We split up after 9 years. I would have married him at a days' notice but I am so glad I didn't.



    I've been with H2B for 2.5 years and I know the difference now!



    I feel that has given me a bit of experience - yet I still say, if it feels right to you then go for it because nobody can tell you how you are supposed to do things in your relationship.



    Who cares what age you are? I get annoyed on behalf of younger brides when suppliers don't take you seriously, it is so rude!
  • I consider myself a young bride as I am now 22, engaged at 21, met my fiance at 18 and will be married just before I turn 24. But no idea if I am really a young bride.
  • Hi I met my fianc???? just before I turned 19, got engaged just before my 21st (exactly 2 years later) & I will be 23 when we marry in 2013 him 24! All ny family are very supportive but I do feel some people think we are too young, especially as we only plan on officially moving out and in togeher next year! But who cares what people think! I'm doing what makes me happy! image x
  • I've been with my fiance since I was 17, we got engaaged in June (I am 21) and I'll be 22 when we get married next August, and he will be 26 image

    Couples in the 'old' days got married very young and are still together celebrating 50 yr anniversaries, so why should it be different now? image xx
  • Hi all,



    I was 23 when we got engaged and will be 25 when we are married. My h2b will be 27. We are getting married on our 5th anniversary. I will be the first out of my close group of friends to get married, but I know a few girls who were in my year at school that are married and a lot have had kids. I think it all really depends on the relationship!

    I am finding it quite difficult at the moment because I am originally from New Zealand so all my friends (and bridesmaids!!), family incl parents etc are there but me and my h2b are living in the UK at the moment.. its tough not having my best friends to talk to about all the wedding planning - so have come on here and using this as a way to talk to people about it all!!



    Try not to worry about what other people think if they say you are a young bride.. my parents got married at 19 and are now 56! People are always going to have opinions, but as long as you are happy then that is all that matters!!



    xxxx
  • Hi,

    I am now 21 and have just finished my training to be a nurse but got married on July 9th this year when I was still 20 and still in palcement for my course. Hubby is 25.

    I like what MrsSandison said about being family orientated not the average clubbing young people cos me and my husband are like that also.

    People everywhere look at me and think im 15/16 and tell me im too young to marry and I must definately wait to have kids and enjoy being young and experience travelling the world. But I just reply that its what we want and its our choice...



    Good luck to all you brides out there waiting for your wedding day to come round- it comes quickly and its the best day ever no matter what happens!
  • MrsBlakeyMrsBlakey Posts: 474
    I'll be 23 on our wedding day h2b will be 27, we'll be getting married just a few days after our 5th anniversary of getting it together! We got engaged when we found out we were expecting our son now 3, i think after all the hardships parenting can bring there's no doubt we're forever. My parent married at 22, they'll be celebrating 25 years next year image
  • BexFBexF Posts: 98
    Me and my H2B have been best friends since I was 12 and he was 14. We got together when I was 16, he was 18 and we brought a house together when I was 18-he was 21. I am now nearly 22 and we have just got engaged - we have had a mortgage together (and two cats!) for over three years. We have also spent six months travelling together. When we get married I will be 23, he will be 25 and we will have been together 7 yrs!



    All our friends and family are really happy for us as we have not rushed anything, but obvioulsy some people will think we are too young. My uncle got married at 40 - eight months after they met! I think age is just a number, but make sure its right whenever!
  • i am also a young bride! i got engaged on my 20th birthday and im gettin married in 5 months so i'll still be 20! it is young, but i do think, if you know you love them, and want to spend the rest of your life with them then why wait!? forget all those unhelpful comments people make and those looks they give you... you know the ''you dont know what your doing!?'' kind of looks! just enjoy being engaged!!
  • Ive been with my OH since we were 15! (: x
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