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his mom and dad hate me

my fiances mom and dad hate me. this is not be just being rediculous. they really do. my fiance is in the air force so he is gone right now.... {i know sucks} and so i have been trying to help his mom with his 2 younger brothers and i will go to thier house to pick the boys up and say hi to her and she wont even look up from her computer at me. i have no idea how im supposed to explain to them that they have to help pay for stuff or even be a part of the wedding stuff. she wont tell me how many people are in families so that i can start finding a caterer or anything.

Posts

  • MrsKP_MrsKP_ Posts: 2,035
    Can you get your h2b to speak to her?



    Why do they have to help you pay for stuff? Noone 'has' to help you pay anything.
  • gemz0112gemz0112 Posts: 488
    i know how you feel my mil2b doesnt like me either and shes barely spoken to me. I just dont let it bother me shes not worth it and I wont let her issues get in between me and h2b. its her problem and it doesnt bother me one bit that she doesnt ackowledge my presence. Try not to let her get to you hun x
  • I have a good relationship with my MIL2B and i pity anyone who doesn't. Although i am a bit stunned when you said 'i have no idea how im supposed to explain to them that they have to help pay for stuff ' i mean no one has to help you with anything.
  • My Mother-in-law2b is dreadfull. H2bs mother has hardly spoken to me at all, We've seen each other probably a dozen times in 6 years, which suits me fine, How-ever now we're getting married all of a sudden shes ultra friendly, wanting to know every small detail, even phoning the hotel and hassling them and we only booked the place monday!!



    She has said she will contribute towards the wedding. That will be a great help, but now I really want to know how much? Im so worried about not being able to afford the reception and if I knew what size of donation we we're expecting then it would put my mind at rest.



    How-ever we were offered the contribution, We would of never asked any of the parents for money. We choose to get married..They shouldnt have to foot the bill.
  • Why don't you and H2B make up a preliminary list of relatives then show her the list and ask if there's anyone that's been left out.

    Also why not take some magazines round and ask for specific help, ie. do you think we should have this or this, or is there some other ideas you can help me with?
  • i know they dont have to pay for anything.... i guess i worded that kinda werid. hahahh but about the trying to ask her for ideas and stuff yeah she wont even talk to me. so to try and solve that i emailed her a list and some ideas that we had already decided and i asked her if she could give me the numbers of how many people where in each family. i already wrote all the names and everything and she never responded. and they arnt letting me ride with them to pick him up from the airport. its rediculous. but i guess everyone is right and they dont have to help pay. meeeh.
  • right.....i agree they dont "have"to pay for things but it does sound like something is going on,well thats how it would feel to me.you need to speak to h2b and tell him how it makes you feel.does she feel maybe you are too young?have you been with each other long?now when you say ride with them to the airport is he still living at home?it could be something really silly and can be sorted out with a cuppa.try not to worry about it to much.me and my fil2b do not get on ,the mans a t*t if you ask me but thats live we cant get on with everyone,but when i see the man im still polite(through gritted teeth...ha ha ha)his mum and dad are divorced and i get on with her really well.

    when h2b comes back maybe go round for sunday dinner with loads of wedding mags maybe that will bring her round.

    hope you get things all sorted out

    xxxxxx

  • BambagirlBambagirl Posts: 7,506
    I'm having a bit of difficulty understanding your statement about your fianc????'s parents having to pay for stuff. Traditionally the cost of the wedding is met as outlined below:



    Traditional Responsibilities

    If you intend to adopt the traditional responsibilities for paying your wedding expenses, the following usually applies:



    The Bride's Father pays for:

    Engagement announcement in newspaper.

    Stationery and postage expenses.

    Bride's and bridesmaids' dresses and accessories.

    Page boy outfit.

    His own suit and bride's mother's outfit.

    Transport for bride and himself, bridesmaids and bride's mother to ceremony venue.

    Transport for bride and groom, bride's mother, bridesmaids and himself from ceremony venue to reception venue.

    Flowers for the church and reception.

    Bouquets for the bride and bridesmaids

    Buttonholes for participants and guests

    Photographer and/or videographer.

    Wedding Cake.

    Reception and all associated expenses.

    Wedding Insurance.

    Overnight accommodation for close family if required.

    Wedding present for his daughter and her new husband.

    Wedding consultant fees.



    Flowers for the guests to wear and bouquets for the bride & bridesmaids - i.e. all flowers that are worn or carried - are paid for either by the bride's father OR by the Groom. According to some etiquette versions of who pays for what the cost of videography & photography is the responsibility of the Groom too.

    The Groom's Parents pay for:

    The parents' meeting following the engagement announcement.

    Their own outfits.

    Wedding present for the newly-weds.

    The Bride pays for:

    Hen party.

    Groom's ring.

    Something old, new, borrowed and blue.

    Hairdresser and beautician on the day.

    Her going-away outfit.

    Present for groom.

    The Groom pays for:

    Stag party.

    Bride's wedding ring.

    Hiring of his own, best man's and ushers' suits.

    Transport for best man and himself to ceremony venue.

    Civil or church ceremony fees.

    Presents for the bride, bridesmaids, pages, ushers and best man.

    His going-away outfit.

    Transport away from reception venue for himself and his new wife.

    Wedding night venue.

    Honeymoon.

    Press announcement for wedding.

    The Bride and Groom together pay for:

    Present for the bride's parents.



    The best man does not usually pay for anything although he will pay for the marriage ceremony on the day with money given to him by the groom.



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