After All This Time.... Our June 2019 wedding

After reading lots of planning threads ive decided to start my own, im putting all of my waffle into this first post, so feel free to skim read haha

How we met

It was 2006 and I was in my first year at college, our friendship groups joined when J started dating one of my friends and I started dating one of his. Over the next two years we became very close and I regarded him as one of my best friends. Unfortunately he had a fall out with my then boyfriend G and we stopped talking for six years.

In that time I married G and had 2 daughters. Fast forward to 2015 and due to many reasons my relationship with G was breaking down due to his personal issues and my PND after our second daughter. I ended my relationship and marriage with G and he moved out.

A few months later J and I bumped into each other in a bar one night and the rest as they say is history, we’ve subsequently realised that we have loved each other for many years, we were just never in the right place until now.

The non-propsal proposal

From us first getting together, J and I had both said we wouldn’t get married, something along the line things changed a lot and we found ourselves talking about doing it maybe 2021-2022, we wanted to live a little, have some big holidays, buy a house, spoil the girls etc

2016 ended amazingly with my divorce coming through on December 23<sup>rd</sup>, just in time for Christmas however 2017 didn’t start off very well for us due to a few reasons, the main one being, I have a couple of gynaecological problems and I had a check up early in January and the general consensus from my new consultant is that my old consultant has pretty much ruined things and if I want any more children it needs to be sooner rather than later. I rang J after my appointment in floods of tears and after calming me down I went off to work (im a dance teacher) and after work I had a text message saying, lets bump everything up, lets move in together asap, get engaged in 2018 and married in 2019 then we can start trying for a baby straight away.

I was very dubious as I felt this was only because I wanted a baby with him, and his ‘old fashioned’ values mean he needs/wants to ‘do it right’ many chats and discussions happened and he explained its not just about that, he wants to marry me and doesn’t want to wait. The only reason he was waiting was because we planned to go to NYC for my 30<sup>th</sup> in 2019 and he planned to propose there, fancy meal, carriage ride around central park and then up the Empire State Building to propose while a violinist payed Van Morrison’s Have I Told You Lately That I Love You…………… talk about dangling a carrot! Haha!

So it was decided we’d rather not wait, and we’d get married in 2019 and have our Honeymoon in NYC.

One lazy Sunday afternoon we were talking weddings and he said ‘maybe we should start actually planning, find a venue and everything….. but im not actually proposing until next year’

So theres my non proposal proposal and the wedding planning started…

Choosing a date

So we had the year, and we knew we wanted to do it in the late spring/early Summer so that we could be back from honeymoon before the girls started school again in September.

We have a lot of birthdays and anniversaries around July & August, but we didn’t really want to do May as that’s Js birthday, so June it was, and June 8<sup>th</sup> was subsequently chosen as W DAY.

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  • Mrs17Mrs17 Posts: 775

    Yay!! You've started a planning thread 

    And so it begins.

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,202

    Aww lovely  Glad you have started one after all your time and effort binge reading all of ours haha!

  • Haha! yeah, more for me than anything, id like a record of it all and im not the scrapbooking type haha

  • DrD-to-beDrD-to-be Posts: 195

    Ooo a new planning thread! The story of your meeting is lovely, just shows that when its meant to be it will happen one way or another. 

    Looking forward to reading your plans xx

  • Thanks DrD-to-be, we have a good giggle sometimes at the way we used to be and neither of us clicked on that the other liked us!

  • LucykinsLucykins Posts: 701

    Ooh you started a planning thread :) I was intrigued by the thread title as it hinted of Harry Potter... I look forward to hearing more! 

  • this is a long one so i apologise for the waffle!

    The Budget

    I knew we needed to budget before we went to look at anywhere as ive done the wedding planning before and know it can easily spiral, we discussed things and decided that we would have a ‘nice’ wedding but honeymoon like rockstars, (for us anyway haha) I compiled the first of many spreadsheets and gave J his fist heart attack (of many im sure)

    Doing this meant we had a better idea of how much we could comfortably afford, we were both adamant we aren’t getting into debt to get wed.

    Venue Hunt

    Now we had a budget we (I) set about venue hunting, we didn’t really know what kind of venue we wanted, other than we wanted a civil ceremony and for the wedding and receptions to all be in the same place. I went on all of the registrars websites in the local area, priced up all of the approved venues, and those that fitted the budget…. We visitied 19 (a further 2 got crossed off the list due to terrible attitude in emails!)

    Just in case anyone wants a nosey at any of them we visited, The Parlour at Blagdon, Vallum Farm, Royal Station Hotel, The Vermont, The County Hotel, The Little Haven Hotel, Falcons Rugby Club, Lambton Estates, Wallsend Hall, Holiday Inn Jesmond, The Caledonian Hotel, South Causey Inn, The Quayside Exchange, George Washington Hotel, Alnwick Castle, Roker Hotel, High House Farm, The Hilton & The Copthorne Hotel.

    I fell in love with Vallum, The Parlour, The Vermont, Lambton Estates, Alnwick, South Causey, George Washington & The Copthorne.

    J fell in love with the same other than he didn’t like Vallum Farm, so that was out.

    The Parlour - beautiful venue, it’s a serious of small buildings and you get exclusive use, the manager who showed us around gave us a complete tour, told us everything they were doing to renovate over the next few years and we had a concise and amazing quote within 24 hours. Including a gorgeous little ice cream bike. The downside – no accommodation and we would need to provide transport for guests.

    The Vermont – this hotel is the Great Gatsby at its best, it has 3 rooms that you can use, The Sky lounge which we loved, it’s very small so we could only hold our ceremony here, but had a gorgeous outside terrace overlooking Newcastle with amazing views. The receptions would then be in either the Gold Room or the Ballroom, both of which were grand rooms with tall windows and big chandeliers, the quote was very reasonable and came through within a few hours of visiting, however they had a provisional booking for our date.

    Lambton Estates – this was everything we’d envisioned in our chats about getting married, its basically the old Lambton Castle grounds, there were 3 places we could have the wedding, beside the castle, in the walled garden or down beside the villa. I loved beside the castle and also the Villa, we would need a marquee and to hire everything in, we priced it up and was within budget, J was worried it would be a lot of work and stress for us (me) but we both agreed it was amazing. Again the major downside no accommodation and we’d need to provide transport

    Alnwick Castle –being Harry Potter fans we loved the idea of getting married here, we went to view it on a dismal Wednesday morning but that didn’t dampen the ideas and views, the co-ordinator showed us all around and explained everything in lots of detail. Sadly the distance (over an hour away) was a big downside.

    South Causey -  this little gem was just under 40 minutes away from us and was gorgeous, they do a package where they include everything and I mea

  • George Washington – this hotel is actually at the bottom of our estate, we brushed it off initially but decided we would give it a chance because they had an Orangery and an outdoor wedding pavilion. It was beautiful, the only thing that put me off was the chairs used for the pavilion – its on a golf course so the chairs they use are pretty much fold up computer chairs and I just didn’t like them at all, so we left with the idea that we’d discount it. Then I realised we didn’t have to get married outside, and the ‘indoor emergency room’ could actually be our ceremony room which was just as gorgeous as the Orangery where the receptions would be. Plus it has a spa – bonus – J wants to send me off to be pampered the whole day before the wedding!

    The Copthorne – this was another hotel we’d not really considered but once we were inside we were blown away. Its had a bad rep in the last couple of years but its just been renovated and they’ve done an amazing job. The co-ordinator here was so chatty and friendly, it felt like she wasn’t just bothered about getting us round and out so to speak. In the foyer theres an atrium which becomes roped off for the drinks reception with an outside area if the weather is nice which overlooks the Quayside and River Tyne, the foyer also has a grand piano. The ceremony room & restaurant for the wedding breakfast both have floor to ceiling windows overlooking the river. The evening reception is in the suites at the back of the hotel which has its own foyer and entrance. This was the only hotel that showed us bedrooms without us having to ask – the executive suite again has floor to ceiling windows on two walls with views of Newcastle & The river.

    DECISION TIME

    after lots of deliberation we narrowed it down to The Vermont, The George Washington & The Copthorne. Shortly after The Vermont was taken off the shortlist as we both agreed that although we loved the skylounge, if it was raining (it is the north east) we wouldn’t get to use it anyway and we didn’t love the rooms where the receptions would be and the skylounge wasn’t enough of a reason to get married there if we didn’t love the rest of it. Plus we’d have to change our date.

    So we booked a second viewing at George Washington & The Copthorne, both for the same day. Luckily the George Washington was going to have the Orangery set up for a wedding and they were going to show us a couple of bedrooms.

    The Orangery looked amazing set up for a wedding, so bright and airy and just beautiful, the bedrooms were beautiful, even the non-refurbished ones, the only downside here was there was a chance they would hold another wedding on the same day.

    The Copthorne was everything we remembered it to be, but we still came away non the wiser. So a pros and cons list was what it came down to, 5 to 3 was how we found our venue, we are getting married on Saturday 8<sup>th</sup> June 2019 at The Copthorne.

     

  • our ceremony room image

  • imageimage drinks areas

  • imageimage image reception rooms and the viewsimageimage

  • LucykinsLucykins Posts: 701

    Lots of good venues to choose from in the north east! I looked into Alnwick Castle, it would have been a trek though as you say! Looks like you've made a good choice :)

     

  • We think so :) its right beside the bridges too which is where we took one of our first selfies as an official couple ..... soppy or what! Haha! 

  • LucykinsLucykins Posts: 701

    Soppy is good haha! I hadn't really thought about it before, but one of the first photos taken of us together was from the Baltic overlooking the milennium bridge and that's where we will be staying :)

  • August18August18 Posts: 247

    yey another planning thread 

    congratulations. What a lovely story sounds like fate worked it's magic in the end xx

  • eeeep! My dress has been dispatched....... 

  • Mrs17Mrs17 Posts: 775

    Dress... What dress?!?

    (love the venue!!)

  • Maybe I should do my dress post tonight! Hahaha! 

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Dress?? 

  • Issa19unionIssa19union Posts: 123

    Lovely thread so happy to see another 2019 bride. I am Jan 2019!

    You have a dress?? Fill us in!

                                                                                                                                                                       


    My planning thread

    http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/planning-for-my-2019-afro-caribbean-winter-wedding/435019.html

  • August18August18 Posts: 247

    oh how exciting what did you go for? x

  • MrsSpag2BMrsSpag2B Posts: 479 New bride

    I have been a secret lurker on your thread, but I have to echo what the others are saying... what dress?????

  • I've got my eldest at dance class but I'll do a dress post tonight I promise 

  • MrsC2018MrsC2018 Posts: 191

    Hi Afterallthistime, lovely to read your thread. I'm new here so just getting to grips with the forum

    I live in the North East too and weirdly live a few minutes walk from one of the potential venues you had in mind - The South Causey Inn. We love it there and go often but won't be considering it for a venue as it won't feel 'special' being our local.

    I am interested in hearing about Lambton Estates if you don't mind sharing the info? Either on here or by PM. Thanks 

  • The Dress

    So with this being my second time, I was adamant I was doing it ‘right’ this time and I’d go dress shopping and try lots on etc etc (last time I was gifted my step sisters ‘spare’ wedding dress and then I fell out of love with it and ended up with one from Light in the Box, which id recommend highly as the dress was amazing and looked worth £1000’s not £100s)

    Anyway, I’d probed J to find out what kind of dress he liked (I had the massive poofy princess one before) and he said he envisaged something slender but with a fullish skirt, very detailed and sparkly with thick straps not strapless – not that he’d thought about it at all!

    I started looking at pinterest back when we started looking at venues and a dress popped up that was beautiful, I told myself I’d never find it and it was way to early anyway, but it kept popping up. After a couple of weeks I started searching to see If I could track it down. The site I tracked it down to was another Chinese site similar to Light in the box, the dress is obviously a copy, but the reviews all seemed positive and I bit the bullet and stuck it on my credit card.

    If I’m honest, subconsciously ive had to set myself up for it to be terrible, and ive still been browsing and have a list of standbys that id be more than happy with on the Wed2b website so its not this or nothing.

    Its been in production for 6 weeks and I got the ‘dispatched’ email today, it should be with me on Tuesday alongside a customs charge – grrrrrrrr but hey ho! We shall see.

    i've ordered it in white - yes even after a divorce and 2 kids! im a rebel! haha

     

    Pics deleted

  • eeeeeek it's on the plane!

  • Colours/Theme

    We decided very classic and elegant would be our theme, black, silver, greys and white would be our colours. Nothing OTT nothing that needs too much thought and effort if that makes sense, without wanting to sound lazy as I love the planning and DIY etc, J wanted simple and classy so that’s where we’ve gone.

    I mentioned earlier about us both being Harry Potter fans, well that’s not strictly true…. We are both avid readers and Harry Potter is the one we both like. J is a LOTR and Jack Reacher and Lee Childs fan whereas the first book I fell in love with at age 11 was Danielle Steele’s Granny Dan and at the moment its Me Before You, but Harry Potter comes way up there in both of our love lists. Its very strange as well that when the books were first released neither of us was particularly interested in reading them, J was ‘made’ to by his mum, and my teacher in school was reading the books to us at the end of the day and everyone got one as a leaving present when we left primary to go to secondary school. Somewhere along the line though, the magic happened and mischief was managed, we were hooked!

    I wanted a very subtle HP theme and J agreed as long as it wasn’t wands and potion bottles, flying snitches and the likes whacking people in the face he was ok with it being intertwined in some places.

    My bouquet His Buttonhole

    On my etsy and pinterest searches I came across paper flowers, I love the idea of having something a bit different and originally had thought about having the flowers made from sheet music for our first dance song, but after the above discussion decided that Harry Potter book pages was another subtle nod we could have.

    I found PaperBouquetsUK for my bouqet and put a deposit down pretty much straight away after a quick chat, so mine will hopefully look something like this…..

    image

    I then went in search of a buttonhole with a difference, im sure PaperBouquets would of made a matching buttonhole but I wanted something else, J loves Marvel and I asked him who his favourite superhero was (secretly hoping Deadpool) anyway its Iron Man ‘brains and the tech’ so I wanted to incorporate that in there. I found TheBridalBoxStudio who make book and comic book buttonholes with lego heros, so I had a Harry Potter book flower with Iron Man in there and some black foliage to match the colours, this is the finished item.

    image

  • LucykinsLucykins Posts: 701

    Ooh nice, I'm investigating PaperBouquetsUK now :) some lovely ideas in their gallery.

  • Issa19unionIssa19union Posts: 123

    Hehe my H2B is a total comic geek and would love to incorporate it into the day but I'm abit conscious of it ending up a little tacky! I like your buttonhole idea though it's a perfect subtle touch.

    And the dress loooove it, its elegant and sexy at the same time. I hope it comes looking just as beautiful as the photos, fingers and toes crossed for you!

  • MrsSpag2BMrsSpag2B Posts: 479 New bride

    I am a MASSIVE HP fan!  I wanted to incorporate it into my wedding, but Spag said no   I've named our tables after my favourite couples, so Harry & Ginny have got a table but thats all I'm allowed haha.

    Your dress is lovely, and those bouquets are so nice & original!

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