Trust issues and getting married in 4 months !!
I'm going to apologise in advance for the length of this post, but please stick with it, as I desperately need your advice!
I've been with my fiance almost five years, and I'd like to think that up until recently, our relationship was pretty perfect however, it hasn't been the same since he came home from his stag do almost two months ago. As one would expect, there were strippers involved. I'd be lying if I said this didn't bother me, particularly as I have some real issues with self-confidence and videos were posted all over social media, but I was willing to move past my own insecurities and get on with my life. When he came home, he explained in detail what had happened and although internally I was upset, externally we carried on as normal. Over the course of the coming weeks, I couldn't help but feel there was information he was withholding, but having mentioned it numerous times, he assured me nothing more had happened and that the events were as he had originally recalled.
However, a couple of days later he accidentally divulged some information which was entirely new to me! All of a sudden, his story changed and continued to change several times until he realised he'd slipped up and explained what had actually happened. It turns out that he was far more 'hands-on' with the stripper than I was originally lead to believe, groping her breasts and bum! I was absolutely devastated! I'd had some very vulnerable conversations with him about how I was feeling prior to this information coming to light, and how I couldn't help but feel he wasn't being entirely truthful and he'd point blank lied to my face! When I asked why he'd lied to me, he told me that he hadn't lied but had simply withheld information. He said there was nothing to be gained by telling me the finer details, and that he feared I would end our relationship if I knew the full extent.
Following this, I'm really struggling to trust him! I'm finding myself questioning everything he's telling me, and my lack of trust in him occupies my brain constantly! It's absolutely ruined our relationship! We've argued almost daily since the information came to light. He's acknowledged that he needs to work to regain my trust, but ultimately thinks I'm overreacting! He keeps reassuring me that nothing else has happened throughout the course of our relationship but in light of what has happened, I'm not sure how he expects me to believe him! What's even more upsetting is that he didn't proactively tell me despite all of the opportunities he was given, he got caught out which makes me wonder how long he would have sat back and watched me being consumed by what I thought was paranoia.
To make matters worse, I have previously been cheated on and have been screwed over by family members, therefore it takes a lot for me to whole heartedly trust someone!
I'm supposed to be getting married in four months and I don't know what I should do! I don't want to be standing at the altar on my wedding day looking into the eyes of someone I don't trust but equally, don't want to throw away a relationship that up until this point has been perfect. I've turned into a suspcious, paranoid woman and am mentally exhausted from constantly questioning him! This isn't me!