What do you think of charity favours?

Libby13Libby13 Posts: 243

H2B and I arent big fans of favours at weddings, we have found that at every wedding we have been to most of them were left behind on tables

instead of not doing any at all, we like the idea of charity favours. We have picked 2 charities (one in memory of h2b's mum, and one in memory of my dad) and each person would get a small pin badge on a card which says something along the lines of "instead of traditional favours, a donation has been made on your behalf to two charities very close to our hearts"

what is your honest opinion on doing this??

Until I googled it I had no idea that it was so controversial! it seems many people think that it is bragging about donating, that it is rude to choose to do this on behalf of people, people would prefer an actual gift and also people should be able to choose their own charities as they may not want to support ours. 

in my view, the reason we are providing these cards is not to brag but the badges will provide something for each person to take home, and it is more a nod to our parents that we are making people aware of the charities. Also would many people really object to charities Eg. Not wanting to support finding a cure for cancer? 

What do you think?

Posts

  • MrsSpag2BMrsSpag2B Posts: 479 New bride

    I honestly think people should stop being so opinionated on other people’s wedding favours. It is your day and entirely up to you what you choose to have! They should be grateful you have even bothered, as it’s a nice thing to do.

    I think giving to charity is a lovely thing to do, and like you said lots of favours usually get left behind. They are 2 charities obviously close to you both, so people should be understanding of That! 

    Basically, it’s your day, do whatever you want to do and whatever makes you happy! Sod the rest! 

  • MrsC2017MrsC2017 Posts: 191

    We did it and I didn’t regret it at all! Ours were forget me not seeds for cancer research, so the guests had something to take home. It’s not bragging, and in the grand scheme of weddings I think it’s lovely to show that some of the money has gone to charity. Especially given your charities are close to you both. I think you should go for it. 

  • Amanda198Amanda198 Posts: 152

    I purchased some personalised bottle opener key rings when we first got engaged, they weren't expensive as favours.  But the more I think about it now, I too am considering doing charity pins as well, I personally think it's a nice idea.xx 

  • Kelly224Kelly224 Posts: 962 New bride

    That’s exactly my opinion as well Mrs Spag!! 

    I don’t think it’s up to your guests to give opinions on your favours, it’s your day so do want you want to do. You would like to think that your guests would understand the reasons behind your decision to give to the charities.

    personally think it’s a lovely idea. 

  • Lexi90Lexi90 Posts: 971

    I’m surprised it’s controversial. How’s it any different to you giving your money to a company. The guest hasn’t decided whether that company deserved your money either! 

    My friend’s dad died of cancer when we were children and she had badges via their donation to cancer research. i thought it was a lovely touch and I actually found it quite moving when I saw the favour. 

  • Libby13Libby13 Posts: 243

    Thank you everyone for your replies - MrsSpag you are so right, sometimes we can get so worried about other people's opinions that we forget we should be doing the ideas we love! 

    Glad to see people don't think it would be taken the wrong way. Do you think people would miss having regular favours? 

    I just like the idea that the money will go to a good use, and also it means so much to both of us - I lost my dad when I was a child and my h2b lost his mum when he was a child, both in the same year a few months apart (we did not know each other) and we really want to remember them on our wedding day

    thanks for the reassurance everyone! 

  • They are my favourite kind of favours.

    Let's be honest: does anyone NEED another jar of jam or packet of seeds?  NO.  And while I like edible favours better than a shot glass with someone else's wedding date printed on it, after a hearty wedding breakfast, I don't need a biscuit or chocolate-covered strawberry or the like either.

    On the other hand, we all NEED more cancer research.  More shelter for homeless pets.  More literacy programmes for adults.  You get the picture.

     

     

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    I agree it’s upto you. I don’t get the “Id rather choose my own charity support”, because the guest hasn’t done any supporting at all, the money has come from the bride and groom so they are the ones doing the supporting!

    That said I’m all for edible favours and wouldnt want a pin or anything else that had to be kept afterwards, so if I’d chosen this route I’d of gone for one sign saying a donation had been made, but no physical thing for guests to have to remember and then decide what to do with.

  • Libby13Libby13 Posts: 243
    KittyFiennes wrote (see post):

    They are my favourite kind of favours.

    Let's be honest: does anyone NEED another jar of jam or packet of seeds?  NO.  And while I like edible favours better than a shot glass with someone else's wedding date printed on it, after a hearty wedding breakfast, I don't need a biscuit or chocolate-covered strawberry or the like either.

    On the other hand, we all NEED more cancer research.  More shelter for homeless pets.  More literacy programmes for adults.  You get the picture.

     

     

    Thank you - these are my thoughts exactly 

  • Libby13Libby13 Posts: 243
    MrsJ2017 wrote (see post):

    I agree it’s upto you. I don’t get the “Id rather choose my own charity support”, because the guest hasn’t done any supporting at all, the money has come from the bride and groom so they are the ones doing the supporting!

    That said I’m all for edible favours and wouldnt want a pin or anything else that had to be kept afterwards, so if I’d chosen this route I’d of gone for one sign saying a donation had been made, but no physical thing for guests to have to remember and then decide what to do with.

     

    Thank you - i did think this too, that a pin is something that would get left behind and isn't useful, when you donate the money as part of a wedding you get the pins and card sent to you anyway. I suppose we could give money just regularly though and then make our own cards with no pin 

  • MrsTwizbeMrsTwizbe Posts: 3,339 New bride

    Id bet money on the negative responses to charity favours being from American brides. 

    I have a look through weddingbee Every now and again and the attitude towards weddings in the states is very different. I’ve seen comments about how rude charity favours are on there. 

    i like charity favours - to me they are among the best along with anything edible 

  • MrsGtoBMrsGtoB Posts: 677 New bride

    I had charity favours at my last wedding and we didn't get any negative feedback, everyone loved them.

    We had testicular cancer pins for the men and breast cancer for the ladies, I threaded them all onto beads and made drinks charms out of them.  Most people wore theirs on the day and my friends were actually talking about them a few days ago.

    Personally I think anyone who thought it was bragging needs to have a long hard look at themselves, we did it because my mum had recently overcome breast cancer and I'd have been furious if anyone was rude about it.

    It's a lovely idea x

     

     

  • TiaMariaTiaMaria Posts: 120

    I have no idea why this would be controversial, it is a lovely thing to do! I was at a wedding recently that did this and it is a great idea. We will be doing something similar, although it will be around gifts. We really don't want gifts as we have everything we could ever want and as my fiancé recently won the battle with cancer we're asking our guests to make a small donation to a cancer charity if they feel really compelled to do anything, although this is completely optional. 

    You do what you want for your wedding and in all honesty it is a lovely thing to do xx

  • TadpoleTadpole Posts: 2,134

    I think its really sweet and in your circumstances it is a lovely tribute. Actually making me a bit emotional thinking about it.

    Never heard anyone criticise this but as others have said - its your day to chose whatever you want to do!

    xx

  • MrsE2016MrsE2016 Posts: 1,206 New bride

    I think it's a lovely idea - our local hospice does scratch cards & one of my friends had those as wedding favours in memory of her Nan who died in the hospice. They were inexpensive (£1 per guest), went to a good cause & a few guests even won money!

  • Libby13 wrote (see post):

    Thank you - i did think this too, that a pin is something that would get left behind and isn't useful, when you donate the money as part of a wedding you get the pins and card sent to you anyway. I suppose we could give money just regularly though and then make our own cards with no pin 

     

    My best friend had charity favours, it was a charity close to the couples heart and it was a lovely thought and much better than chocolates you forget to take with you.  I agree though that I would probably forget to take the pin, so I like your suggestion above the best.  It is really up to you, like most posters I find it weird that people would be critical of charity donations, i think it is a wonderful idea

  • I think it's a lovely idea! :) especially as the charities are so personal to you! X

  • britbirdbritbird Posts: 1,461 New bride

    I am so shocked that people would find them controversial.  And saddened.  Granted, it might not be a charity that I would support, but equally there are companies I wouldn't purchase from, and if someone gave me a nice gift from there, I would still accept it because that is what they want, and it isn't always about me.  Definitely look at the smaller, local charities though (if that fits with what you want), as they normally have something similar, and personally I always like to support the smaller local charities who spend a lot less on admin etc.  

  • CFWCFW Posts: 234

    I agree with all the other ladies! It is a great idea and the fact it is close to your h2b and yours hearts makes it even more special. I actually think favours are going to die out eventually! They all get left behind or trodden on or taken home and never used again whereas yours is going to something that can really help the world! 

    I also went to a wedding in September and there was no favours on the tables.. and do you know what? No one cared or even blinked an eye! 

  • MrsTwizbe wrote (see post):

    Id bet money on the negative responses to charity favours being from American brides. 

     

    Cmon, Twiz...I'm stateside. There are loads of brides here who think I like I do: we really hate getting key fobs with someone else's wedding date on them.

     

  • MrsTwizbeMrsTwizbe Posts: 3,339 New bride

    As the rest of my post stated - the majority of negative posts about charity favours that I’ve seen have come from American brides

    i did not say all American brides don’t like charity favours.

  • Libby13Libby13 Posts: 243

    Thank you everyone for your replies, I'm so happy that you all think it is a good idea and non offensive. The more I think about it the more I realise how much it means to us both. We are going to give to Mind (mental health charity) and a Meningitis charity. 

    yes most comments I saw were on Weddingbee forum

  • I saw cancer research pin badge cards as favours in a magazine and I am really considering doing it, I had decided not to do favours just because I didn't want to waste a few hundred quid on tat that would be left on the table. If I went to a wedding with charity favours I would be over the moon about it!

    I can see that it might seem controversial, especially to older guests but quite frankly, who cares? I am toying with asking for charitable donations instead of wedding gifts/money and my mum and boss have both said that people may not like this but really if they don't like the fact I am donating money to charity then I'm not bothered what they think. At the end of the day its your wedding to do what you want and I think a charity favours is so refreshing and lovely!

  • Libby13Libby13 Posts: 243
    Ellie Davenport wrote (see post):

    I saw cancer research pin badge cards as favours in a magazine and I am really considering doing it, I had decided not to do favours just because I didn't want to waste a few hundred quid on tat that would be left on the table. If I went to a wedding with charity favours I would be over the moon about it!

    I can see that it might seem controversial, especially to older guests but quite frankly, who cares? I am toying with asking for charitable donations instead of wedding gifts/money and my mum and boss have both said that people may not like this but really if they don't like the fact I am donating money to charity then I'm not bothered what they think. At the end of the day its your wedding to do what you want and I think a charity favours is so refreshing and lovely!

     

    We are the same, we dont want to waste money on stuff that will be left behind. And even if you did pins and some were left behind it's not a waste of money because all the money went to charity. 

    id think it was fantastic too if I saw them as a favour! Also our wedding is family and close friends only, they'd be touched to see the support for our charities - especially those who were closest to my dad and h2b's mum 

     

    i think that's a wonderful idea asking for charity donations instead of gifts or money, and I can't see why anyone would moan about that! You should totally do it :)

  • I love the idea! And if anybody doesn't like your choice of charities for some reason - and it sounds like you have really good reasons for choosing the ones you have – they can just donate some of their own money to the charities of their choosing! 

  • Mrs_BadgerMrs_Badger Posts: 1,440

    I bought Purple ribbons for 'Pancreatic cancer' instead of buttonholes. The Charity was very helpful.

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