Blessing abroad - is this cheeky?

Hi, this is my first time posting on this forum. 


I am looking for advice on whether our scenario seems reasonable. We are looking to get married in Spain but are not religious so cannot have an actual wedding, we will have to have a blessing after getting legally married at home. My question is, is it cheeky to invite guests to our blessing as this is the “proper” beach ceremony I have dreamed of, and plan to have the reception with disco etc after. I plan to tell the guests in advance so they are fully aware it’s not an actual wedding!


Grateful for anyone’s thoughts!


  • Ambam19Ambam19 Posts: 562 New bride

    I don't think it's cheeky if you're upfront about it :) I also know some people who haven't told their guests, and never have. The ceremony is very similar so nobody would need to know.


  • Lauren147Lauren147 Posts: 185

    not at all, I did the same thing!! People don't really care. All I had at our real legal wedding was parents and siblings. You'd be surprised how common it is

  • I don't think it matters that it's only a blessing. In your mind that is your wedding and that is where you are promising yourself to one another for the rest of your lives. The legal bit back home if just a bit if paper so If it was me I would just be inviting people to my wedding not my blessing and the just 'legalising' it when I get home x

  • This is exactly what we are doing, having the legal ceremony at our local town hall about 2 weeks before having a humanist blessing in Sicily.  We've told most of the guests our plans and no one seems to care.  As far as we are concerned and all our guests are concerned the humanist blessing is our "real" wedding.  

    Although when i first mentioned this on the forum, there were a few critics to the idea, which made me realise we had to tell our guest the ceremony abroad was symbolic and not legal.

  • MrsC2017MrsC2017 Posts: 191

    I think it's really sweet that you're even wondering if it's cheeky, but I don't think it is at all.  Your 'wedding' will be the beach blessing and the disco etc. afterwards.  The legal bit is often done in a more discrete and personal manner - in a previous life I looked at a wedding venue where you had the legal bit done first and then a chapel blessing afterwards.  The wedding planner at that venue told me and my then partner that often the bride and groom would come down in the morning to do the legal part, often in their casual clothes (and sometimes dressing gowns!), with a parents as witnesses.  I'd actually been to a wedding at that same venue and had no idea during the ceremony that it wasn't the legal part, nor would I have been bothered.  

  • MrsMcSMrsMcS Posts: 235

    Of course it isn't cheeky, the ceremony in Spain will be your wedding.

    I've been to a Humanist blessing and reception that took place a full year after the actual legal marriage and no-one minded! It was just like going to any other wedding, except that the legal bit wasn't included in the ceremony.

  • LizzieBHLizzieBH Posts: 196

    I've been to several weddings where the couple were doing 'the legal bit' separately, for various reasons - the important thing is whether you consider that ceremony to be your wedding. I'm doing exactly the same. We won't actually have any friends or family at the registry office ceremony - we're playing it down, but I don't expect anyone's offended!

  • Miaow8690Miaow8690 Posts: 298

    It’s definitely fine - in a lot of countries the legal bit is always done separately. In France for example most people have the legal bit the day before and then the religious/meaningful ceremony later and everyone expects it.

  • Kelly277Kelly277 Posts: 4

    I'm also doing this in 2019, we're having the legal side at our local town hall for various reason, mainly my mum won't fly and h2b sister is a teacher so she is unable to attend in term.

    The a week later we fly to Greece for a blessing on the beach, and bbq reception, there 25 people coming to Greece with us and I've been homest from the start, I felt cheeky to but after speaking about it to m.i.l she said I'm.not forcing anyone to come Greece it's a choice so we carried on with our plans.

    We're having a reception when we are back home for everyone else and I'm wearing my dress again.. yeeey haha ddd

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