I hate my Flower Girl Dresses

This is my first bridezilla momen, Iam having 2 flower girls, my nieces aged 2 and 5, my mum is buying the dresses as 10 years ago she paid for all the dresses for my sister‘s wedding.  My mum and I discussed what would work and I thought we agreed on cream/ivory dresses with a sash the same colour as my maid of honour (lavender). I am planning a boho wedding outside with lots of flowers and nature.  Last night on the phone my mum casually mentioned she’d bought the dresses which she let the 5 year old choose.  She seemed very put out when I said it was my wedding and not the 5 years old and I should at least have had a say before anything was bought.  Then she sent me a photo and I hate them, the dresses are lilac and covered in sequins, a very pretty party dress but not what I imagined for my wedding day.  I don’t know what to do, if I should leave it as at least my Mum and nieces will be happy or sticking my foot down and insisting on changing them

thank you for reading and providing any advice


  • Mrs_BadgerMrs_Badger Posts: 1,440

    I would just say that you don't like them and see what happens.

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    I’d also tell her you don’t like them, she can still take them back and it sets the ground rules. My mum booked a florist without asking me, I made her cancel without me too 😂

  • gill17gill17 Posts: 568 New bride

    I would definitely say something. At the risk of being controversial I don't think paying equals the right to choose, and certainly not let a five year old choose! If you don't it sets a precedent and also it will bug you when you look back at pics. 

  • I would be honest and just tell your mum you don’t like them and they don’t fit into the aesthetic of your wedding. If you want to soften it say you appreciate that she is trying to help and that it is a pretty party dress but just not quite right for your wedding xx

  • your wedding, your choice.  

    That should be the beginning and end of the discussion.... and if it isn't its your mum being unreasonable not you x

  • EpiphanyEpiphany Posts: 718

    Hmmmm ... I'd probably say enthusiastically that they are beautiful dresses and just right for the girls to change in to after the wedding for the evening/ party/ reception, but that you have other ideas for the wedding ceremony and, of course, you will be choosing the dresses for your own flowergirls, surely?.

    Your mum may then think that 2 dresses would be a fun idea - or she may think it is nuts to pay for 2 outfits for the girls and be more willing to take them back ...

    That way you are acknowledging that the dresses are lovely, but you are stating that you will be choosing their dresses for the day, and yet giving your mum a face-saving get out option if she decides to take them back.

    You could even get the girls a party wand or something for their 'evening dresses' ...I think if you show a bit of 'live and let live' your mum may be shamed into seeing your side!

  • Thank you so much for your comments. In an ideal world your suggestion Epiphany of 2 dresses would be a great compromise, but unfortunately I think that money could be better spent. so far I’ve only seen pictures of the dresses so I am going to check them in the shop tomorrow and if I still don’t like them, your posts have given me the strength to tell my mum NO! 

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