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Cosy Wedding for a Socially Awkward Couple - Oct 19

Hello there lovelies!

 

Loving all of the planning threads so here is my own! I love getting feedback about my ideas and getting "outsider perspective" on things! 

 

I'll also be using this as a way of managing my obsessive and erratic tendancies so I apologize in advance if I get a little "mental" as FI likes to call me ๐Ÿ˜‚

 

Our Story


Me and D first met when my best friend F told me there was a job going at the lab he worked at. As I sat there nervously waiting for my interview, in walks this totally gorgeous guy! It was like in the movies! Tall, dark and handsome... slow motion walking towards me... hair flick... flash of a charming smile... "Hello! You must be here for the interview! I'm the lab manager!"....  WHAT!? Oh my... As if interviews weren't awkward enough!! 

 

As it goes though I got the job, and working together, we became good friends. Of course I'd have DIED if he knew how much of a MASSIVE crush I had on him - I was like a little school girl! Giggling at his jokes and blushing when he looked at me, and I found myself constantly thinking "..... was he flirting with me just there??.... nah! Couldn't have been!". Eventually I left my job to go work at another lab.

 

The day I started my new job, he asked me out - apparently our feelings had been mutual the whole time, including doubting the other would have any interest at all! But, being my manager, thought it inappropriate to do anything about it while I worked there (I thought he seemed a little too happy when I said I was leaving!)

 

Our relationship then seemed to take off at lightening speed! I guess after wasting so much time with our previous relationships (both long term and toxic) we didn't want to waste any more time being unhappy! We moved in together around 2 weeks into the relationship, figuring if we weren't going to work out, this was the way to find out sooner rather than later - But we were completely compatible in every way! Later we adopted two fur babies, and after two years of being together, and lots of not-so-subtle hints (and tantrums) from myself, he proposed! 


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Our fur babies - Long Socks and Rusty Rocket! :)
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Posts

  • The Proposal

    We knew we wanted to get married very early in the relationship, and had he not been worried about my parents not approving due to the short time we'd been together, he would have proposed much sooner!

    Two years was a nice amount of time, though the last few month I'd been going crazy wondering when, how, who, what!? And on several occasions leading up the the proposal I had mini freak outs with him about how worried I was about his plans! I was terrified that he might do the typical restaurant proposal in front of loads of people, or some similar heavily populated area! He always reassured me though that it would be fine, I'd love it, and I needed to stop worrying (Story of my life!)

    Christmas day 2017, we'd opened each others presents, there was wrapping paper and other rubbish spread all over the room, the cats were going mental running around causing mischief, and I heard him shout from the other room where we'd both kept the presents prior to the day, "Awwwwwhhh crap! I forgot about this... there's another present here for you, but, like, I haven't even wrapped it or anything... awwh man... umm... you'll just have to close your eyes or something!"

    That's so him, I thought, completely forgetting about a present! (how slow am I?) So I closed my eyes, heard him walk in, opened my eyes, and there he was, on one knee, surrounded in mess and 2 chaotic cats. I burst into tears on the spot, and just about managed to sniffle a tiny little yes. It was so sweet, simple, and us, and I love him for not making a massive, embarrassing thing of it all!

  • MrsGxMrsGx Posts: 328 New bride

    Aww yay another planning thread :)  What a lovely proposal! I know how you feel about the privacy of the proposal as my partner and I felt exactly the same about grand public proposals too. Yours sounds perfect.

    Love the name of your cats! Look forward to reading more about your plans x

  • Silly work getting in the way of my posts! 

     

    The Ring

    He knew that I'd want to pick out my own ring, but wanted something to propose with, so he bought this cute token ring (I now call it my promise ring!) so that I had one to wear while I found my engagement ring! Look at those lil' ears!!

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    So I was now on the hunt for my dream ring! I wanted something unusual, with intricate metalwork, and I fell in love with this one instantly! It reminds me of the type of jewellery elves wear in the fantasy films and games that we both love! 

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  • Your promise ring is so cute and so thoughtful and your actually ring is amazing

  • MissGx - Yeh I know a lot of people would prefer something a bit more "grand" but it was just perfect for us! Our favourite place to be is home!

    Haha they were supposed to be temp names while we thought of our own to rename but we got so used to calling them that they just stuck ๐Ÿ˜‚

     

    Continuitygirl - thank you! I actually didn't upload my favourite bit about the promise ring... The back of it...

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    'dem paws! ๐Ÿ˜ So cute! 

  • Lexie2017Lexie2017 Posts: 189

    Oh, that is so lovely! I was proposed to at home, and it was perfect for me too (I am quite a massive extrovert, but what was lovely about a home proposal is how it really is just the two of you). I love the promise ring - very creative - and the actual ring is also fab.

  • The "obsession" problem

    So I've been interested in weddings and wedding planning for years, well before being engaged, I consider it a hobby. D knew this and was always fine with it. Another good thing about getting engaged is that I could FINALLY do some wedding planning without it being considered weird or too early... Or so I thought!

    I knew I wanted a long engagement, to give me plenty of time to plan, so we both agreed on just under 2 years... but the problem is I've already been planning for years! So I already have an idea on EVERYTHING! This is incredibly frustrating when I keep being reminded that it's ages away and I need to slow down and "chill"...

    Here are my problems:

    I'm obsessive - when I get an idea in my head, I obsess over it big time, I completely occupy all of my time with it and it drives people crazy

    I'm organised - too organised... If I was left to my own pace of planning, I'm pretty sure this wedding would be ready within a week 0.o 

    I'm a stress head - if I can stress about it, I will. I've been engaged for 1 month, the wedding is 2 years away, and I've had so many freak outs I've lost count! 

    Lucky I (and FI) are well aware of my issues, and are working together to keep them under control! (Partly the reason I joined the forum! Keep my obsessions satisfied!) I really want to just relax and enjoy all this time I have to plan, as people keep telling me to! But I just want to sort everything RIGHT NOW and know that everything will be okay! So I'm hoping logging everything will help me though it! 

  • Kelly224Kelly224 Posts: 962 New bride

    Love your rings! I also had a home proposal!

    you sound very similar to me! We had to have a 2 year planning as couldn’t afford to do it any sooner but I could have had all done in a few months! If it’s any consolation the first year literally flew by and now we are at 10 months to go!

    set yourself bits to do each month to spread it out and then you won’t feel like your doing everything at once. 

  • Kelly224 - Thanks! :) Ohhhh I really hope ours does too! I feel awful for wishing the time away, especially as we actually have so many nice things planned for this year, but I just want it to be here! Eeek! Thanks for the advice on the monthly steps - I like it! (Plus... gives me a chance to make a plan of what I'm going to plan!!! ..... I think I have problems! haha!) x

  • Love the rings and especially your main engagement one, such a stunning design. I'm also another home proposal  x

  • MrsThimboMrsThimbo Posts: 222

    LittleLottieJayne - Thanks for your comment on my planning thread, it made me want to pop across and read yours! Wow, your ring is amazing, I have never seen one even remotely like it! Very special! Christmas proposal and a love of cats... can’t wait to read more about your planning! 

  • The Venue

    Originally I wanted to DIY everything! And the only venue type I found that would let me do this were village halls. Unfortunately, all of the ones anywhere near us lacked any kind of character, pretty much just sports halls with typical business-style tiled ceilings. This meant I'd end up spending a fortune on decor just to get the place looking as I'd like - Which made choosing a cheap venue pretty pointless!

    So I discussed it a little with FI (actually involving the H2B in planning... who'd have thought of it!? ) and he told me that he actually liked the idea of having it in a little local pub/inn of some sort. I'd not even considered that, but it was actually a very fitting idea! I'm wanting to keep it local, pub meals are always our first choice when we're going out, and the majority of them have a lot of character!

    So we did a lot of research, as we like to find out as much as possible without actually having to meet/talk to anyone, and narrowed it down to maybe 3 or 4 places (for now at least, we'd surely be looking at a LOT more places in the months to come). Time to bite the bullet and arrange a viewing for our first venue!

    We were both so nervous, but the lady that greeted us was lovely, we sat and discussed food/drinks, and I was shocked to learn that they were pretty much up for anything, and told me that whatever I wanted, they would make it happen - I was so used to seeing places offering set menus and charging a fortune if you wanted to differ from this! So that was a lovely surprise! Then she took us around the venue.

    Oh my. I was in love. The place is beautiful, very county/rustic, and a little unusual! Right up my street! The space was just the right size for my dinky guest list, and to top it all off, they were perfectly happy for us to have our individual ceremony there too! (I took a fair few pics and struggled to choose between them so there's loads haha!)

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    From the guide prices we'd been given it looked like a winner. For me, the over excited impulsive little devil that I am, it was the one, and I didn't want to see anything else because nothing else could compare to it, never ever! *stomps feet*. But I accepted that that was probably just me, being as I am, and that FI, being the level-headed, reasonable, responsible one of the two of us, would probably want us to look at other options. Then, in the car going back home, he looked at me and said "I don't know about you, but that? That was the one. I don't even see the point in looking at any others."

    WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  And breathe. We've been in touch with them a couple of times to determine exact prices for what we want (I love talking numbers!), and we're going to visit again next week to meet my go-to contact in person (Aaaagghhhh human contact...) and discuss things further.

    We've decided, as a way of testing out their food and service, we'll be going there for our valentine’s meal in a couple of weeks, and if all goes well, we'll be booking when we get back from holiday in May (that's the earliest they can take bookings, as they "don't usually get requests this far in advance"  whoopsie!)

    When it's the one, it's the one. I only hope the rest of the planning goes this smoothly!! x

  • You sound so similar to me - I am completely obsessive and find I can't switch my brain off once I'm thinking about something! Our proposal was at home too, and I love the look of your potential venue! 

  • Bunny87Bunny87 Posts: 180

    Lovely proposal story and such a beautiful ring! Hope the Valentine's meal goes well!

  • BetweenTwoLungs - Honestly, I worry myself with it sometimes, like when I'm into my 3rd hour of trying to get to sleep and all my brain is doing is going through favour ideas for the guests.. haha! And thank you!

    Bunny - thank you! Me too!

  • congratulations! Your rings are gorgeous and your proposal sounds perfect! I love the idea of your venue, cant wait to read more :) 

    Im a 2019 bride too, based up in Newcastle upon Tyne, much like you im so organised! We booked our wedding last March - 27 months in advance and within 2/3months id pretty much planned everything (not booked everything though) we didnt Get officially engaged until my birthday in August so I got to throw my self into planning a bit then and once we were able to say we’re gettjg married next year I’ve put my foot on the gas a bit more. 

     

  • The Theme (Picture heavy!!!)

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    ^^^ This is what I've decided to "name" my theme! I like to have a name/label for everything (drives people mad) and I've seen loads of different themes/colour palletes/decor types on Pinterest and what not, but none of them ever seem to quite fit with what I'm imagining... so I've just kind of mooshed a few ideas together to make my own "Home is where the heart is" theme!

    Autumn is my favourite season, I love all the pretty colours and the feeling of change that comes with it (and wooly jumpers yay!), and with the smaller price-tags that come with this off-season, it was a no-brainer that that's when we were having our wedding! I also have a maaassiive soft spot for Halloween, so we thought what better date than Oct 31st for our big day? But despite this, I didn't want the season/holiday to take over the theme (no creepy skeletones thanks!), I just wanted to incorporate it in a subtle, classy way, such as below!

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    So naturally I wanted some variation of Orange in there, but other than that I was pretty open to the majority of colour combos. I've been back and forth with a few colours, stressing over what other people would prefer (always), until I read a bit of advice (can't remember where, oops!), to take inspiration from the colours you surround yourself with in your home, because, obviously, you like and are comfortable with these colours.

    In my case, this is a mixture of different neutrals - Greys, creams, beiges and browns (with, funilly enough, an Orange bedroom!). Although I was a little worried at first that people might find these colours boring, (My Nanna mostly, as if it where her choice everything would be bright purple, silver, and ALL OF THE SPARLKES!) I reminded myself that it's our day, and if we like it, that's what matters!

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    As I said before, I've jumped around colours a lot already, so I might end up changing my mind again! But this idea has stuck the longest, and I really do think it will work!

    The idea of taking inspiration from your home is where I also got my theme idea from. The idea of "Home" is very important to us. It is our favourite place to be, where we can be ourselves, and truly feel comfortable. So although I've not seen many other people do it, I'm actually using photos of cozy, rustic, country style homes as inspiration for my theme:

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    So, basically, my "Home is Where the Heart is" theme is:

    - Burnt Orange & Neutrals, Rustic, Nature, Boho, Halloween, Classy, Woodland, Autumn, Homey... go figure! Haha! x

  • I really like your theme...it ties in perfectly with your venue too, it will look gorgeous! I especially like the glass box of candles, that'd look lovely as a centre piece! 

  • I love your theme :)

  • Absolutely gorgeous theme! So cosy and  really suit the venue.

  • Awwwh thank you ladies! ๐Ÿ˜Š I'm glad people like it! When I was younger (I sound ancient! I'm only 23! So I'm taking like 3 years ago ๐Ÿ˜‚) I'd have been mortified if someone had even suggested a theme like this! Everything had to be BRIGHT! But I've matured a LOT since I met FI and I just find the colours so calming! 

  • Absolutely loving your colour choices...I can't say I've been a fan of orange (well except the smell :D ) but they grey and orange idea really contrasts well and I guess it also makes it kinda homey...love it 

  • The budget

    Budgeting is really important to me and D, and is pretty prominent in our everyday lives. We budget everything and are always planning our finances a few years in advance to make sure we're on track with our savings.

    Needless to say then that the average £23K wedding pricetag wasn't settling well with either of us! The first draft number we agreed on was £10K, then, after working out a comfortable amount to save for the wedding each month, we've now decided on a budget of £8,500.

    This is the absolute maximum we're willing to spend however (and would both be pretty disgusted in ourselves if we actually end up spending this much!). This attitude often confuses those closest to us... If you can afford it then why not spend it!? Because I want a comfortable marriage, with a nice new house and car, maybe some kids... People seem to forget that a wedding isn't the only thing I want to do with my life! ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Plus, our small budget suits us well. FI is very competitive and sees it as a challenge to overcome. Me? I love a bargain, am very frugal, and see money saving and bargain scoring as something to be proud of (Yes, I'm that person who excitedly announces "Thanks! It was only £1!!!" when you compliment my clothes ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚)

    So our ultimate budget is £8,500, but I think we're both pretty much aiming/hoping for somewhere around the £6,000 mark! I don't see many people posting actual numbers on their threads, but as it's so important to me, I'll likely be including them, and getting overly excited about how much I've saved ๐Ÿ˜€ I just hope this doesn't annoy people or come across as arrogant or anything... I just love saving money!! ๐Ÿ˜‚

    X

  • The "Bride Tribe"

    If I was one for the traditional route, choosing the bridal party would have been a nightmare for me:

    I have no female friends... I used to be part of a big group of girls but it was all very toxic and two-faced so I cut them all off a few years ago (one of the best decisions I've ever made, hard as it was) and I'm not really one for making new friends... My best friend F (a guy) would have been more than happy to be a bridesman (or whatever), but is also FI's best friend, and so has been stolen to be Best Man! *Shakes fist*

    I don't have any sisters, and although I have a fair few female cousins, it'd be impossible to choose between them, impractical to have them all, and honestly, a nightmare to work with any of them. My Mam did suggest that I have my two Aunties (her sisters) as bridesmaids, an idea I did toy with for a little while, but I wouldn't want to offend my other Aunties (Dad's side) whom I have just as much love for...

    Lucky for me then that I'm more than happy to throw tradition out the window and do what feels right for me!

    My Mam is my best friend, has always been there, and although she drives me nuts at times, I know I can count on her when I need her most - Who better then, to have as my Maid of Honour? I decided this early on, no-one could do as good of a job as she could.

    Then there's my Nanna, who has nagged and nagged and nagged and (you get the idea) at us to "Hurry up and get yourselves married, I want a party to go to before I kick the bucket y'know!!" Nice, Nanna. Nice. But again, she means the world to me, and I want to include her in the wedding more than just being a guest, so she will hopefully be the other member of my "Bride Tribe"! 

    Both being Mother roles I've decided to ask them both on Mothers day this year! And I know I want to make it something special... a nice surprise.. but nothing too over the top! I don't think either of them will be expecting me to ask at all so I have that working in my favour!

    At first I wanted to make/buy them a piece of jewellery, and attach a tag to the box saying "My turn to pop the questions..." then inside the roof of the box the message "Will you be my Maid of Honour/Bridesmaid?". I loved this idea! But finding a piece of jewellery that my Nanna will like is a NIGHTMARE! And I really wanted to do the same for both of them, so I've since decided on this:

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     A cute little balloon in a box with a secret message inside (along with some messy confetti bwahaha!) It's nice and simple but will hopefully cause some "huh?" looks before they pop it and read my question! I just hope they both say yes, as I know it's a little out of the ordinary! Any other ideas on what I could do ladies? I've got a while till I need to commit to anything! :)

    As for dresses, I really don't mind what they wear as long at it fits with the colour scheme and they are comfortable! I know they're both uncomfortable with their tummies and their arms though, so I've been thinking some kind of wrap dress, with multi-straps so they can choose how they'd like it! But as long as they're within budget (£100 each) I really don't mind what they wear - I don't even mind if they don't match! But they're both more traditional so I think they will want them to match, same with them probably wanting them to be long! Here's a few ideas that I like though:

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    I'll run the idea by them once they've said yes (Fingers crossed!) but I like alternatives to bouquets, such as corsages, lanterns, balloons... something a bit different! I especially like things that attach to the wrist so they're not worrying all day about where they've left it! But I'll likely decide on these when I decide what I'm doing with my own bouquet! Again, if anyone has any unusual ideas, I'd love to hear them!  

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    x

     

  • YAYYYY I love the idea of asking your mum and nana!! xxx

  • ruthie1979 thank you! I'm half expecting my Nanna to respond with "What do y' want me for!? I'm too bl**dy old to be a bridesmaid!" Hahaha but I'm sure I'll talk her over ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰ xxx

  • MrsGtoBMrsGtoB Posts: 677 New bride

    I LOVE that you are asking your mum and Nan and on mother’s day ๐Ÿ’—

    The lanterns instead of bouquets are great too 

    x

  • Wedding Addict

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I've hit Wedding Addict status! I've no idea when exactly, only just noticed it! But yay exciting! (I'm sad, I know haha but got to celebrate the little things!!)

    Just wanted to share really haha! Back to posti- I mean.. um.. working  

    x

  • Really love you theme! So different & really lovely colours. Bet you’re excited for Mother’s Day, not long now! 

    Also really love your engagement ring (both of them!) Theyre both really special! :)

  • MrsT2Be Awwh thank you! I just want everything to feel very "us" :) Super excited! Mostly just so I've actually got something sorted haha!! Not too nervous about asking them, although I am a little worried my Nanna will be a bit unsure about it, being non-traditional and all, but I'm not half as nervous about asking them as I am to ask my Dad about his role! I've yet to write a post on this thread about that yet though haha! x

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