These Weddings Practically Plan Themselves

Here goes! 

Our Story

So we met just last year in February - online - although not through any of the traditional routes. We actually met on a forum, a bereaved spouses forum to be precise - stick with it, it has a happy ending :-) 

Relatively obviously, we had both lost our spouses to cancer only the month before - we have since joked it is the worst dating site ever, the entry requirements are quite brutal! Both having been through what was really quite a horrendous time for quite a long time, and both still relatively young (40’s and 50’s) it all started very innocently but it soon became obvious that something had clicked and after messages turned to emails turned to texts turned to phone calls we finally met up in March and have not looked back. 

I guess if all that I went through before has taught me anything it is that you should make the most of every moment and just go for it. So I did. So we both did. 

Not only do we both understand what we’ve been through, we also have a similar approach to life, death and grief and we have seen each other through all the firsts. But there is more to it than that. He is genuinely the loveliest man I have ever met, everything has clicked into place and there is nothing I would change. I really feel I have found my soul mate.

We have both been married before. Me to my previous partner in a wedding planned and executed in 10 days after things started to turn pretty grim - we still managed a church wedding with most of the frills. Him to his ex of 10+ years ago and mother of his 2 children who is alive and well. 

He has gained a large white German shepherd in life and I have gained 2 step children who are nearly and all grown up! All have been welcomed with open arms and we all get on fabulously. There is a small issue of 160+ miles between us but we make it work and we will be living together eventually! 

So that’s us. A strange meeting. Our friends and family have been quite surprised - haven’t we all! But everyone has been very supportive and I think they realised pretty quickly that actually this was a thing.

The Proposal 

So just 6 months after we met, and I found myself engaged. It wasn’t entirely a surprise, we had discussed it, I had pointed at rings I like, but I did not expect it to be that year to be honest!  

It happened at home (his) when he mysteriously disappeared with the dog and then came thundering downstairs in what I can only describe as some sort of hysteria. He kept saying - there’s something on the dog.... and I looked and there wasn’t. And he went on with increasing hysteria, whilst I insisted all she had on was her lead which could come off. As he laughed his head off I decided to try to diffuse the situation by showing him a photo I had seen online of a rug made from a stuffed dog which I was suitably appalled by.

So basically he was in hysterics trying to direct me to the dog and I was trying to show him a dead dog rug.

Eventually I studied the lead properly and saw 2 (yes 2!) rings attached to it - which I instantly recognised from my ‘I do like these diamond stacking rings’ email. Immediate tears. And suddenly he was on one knee. I can’t remember what he said exactly but I do know it made me blub and ended with - will you marry me? To which the answer was a definite yes! 

We had already booked to go for a fancy lunch in honour of the 6 months so we went out for a lovely meal with champagne to celebrate. It was a beautiful day and I will never forget it! Mad, a little bit spontaneous but genuine. I loved it. 





  • Julia82Julia82 Posts: 123

    Planning so far

    Well it’s been a breeze. We already had a venue. It’s a fab pub / hotel which is halfway between us where we sometimes meet up. We love it there! It’s not fancy but it’s us. We only want immediate family and closest friends to the service - it’s about 22 in total, then we will have an evening do for all and sundry. It is all dog friendly so my beautiful girl will be in attendance - that’s an essential! 

    Best man will be H2Bs son and bridesmaid will be his daughter. Simples.

     It all takes place August 2019 because that suits when we can move and daughter going to university etc. It’s booked and paid for, the registrar is booked and the photographer is booked - she did my previous wedding and we stayed in touch. I love her and she is so happy for us. It is the only thing I will have the same - everything else must be super different! Save the date cards have gone to the all important 22 and we’ve picked food for the evening buffet because the options were presented to us and it was a no brainer. 

    At this point that feels like enough! But I’d like to start thinking about how to decorate the room so we can try to get an idea of budget for it because it’s a big room for a few people and I’ve no idea how much it will be or what I want. I am determined to have some black mixed in so when people ask about colour schemes I say black - but that’s a slight exaggeration! My mum will do the flowers, she does these things brilliantly (as long as i promise not to have flowers in jam jars she says - it’s apparently faddy), my friend will do the bouquet, another will do the cake. Sorted!

    In all honesty I am not super fussed about the details. I mean am and I want it to be nice and I am rather fussy - or as I prefer to say, I know what I like and what I don’t! I’d rather have nothing than the crap version of something. But! I honestly feel like the main thing is that we say our vows and that we get married and that we wake up the next day as Mr & Mrs. And the rest is all just fluff. Nice fluff, but fluff! We went to Blackpool a while ago and I could have happily got married in my jeans in the walk in chapel but for the sake of our families and also - I guess it’s nicer for it to be nice! I am really excited, so looking forward to it and also super chilled about it. So far! Watch this space! Probably in a years time I will be in meltdown.... 

    This is my current thinking:


  •  Aaaaaah you two sound lovely! Your rings are goooorrrrgggeeooouussss!!!! And loving the intimate sound of your plans so far! Looking forward to reading more :) :) x

  • I'm often accused of having a swinging brick for a heart, but i do love a happy ending. Can't wait to hear how it all plans out. 

  • Julia82Julia82 Posts: 123

    Aww thank you! It has been a crazy year. I thought 2017 would be another horrendous year but it has all turned out nice for once. Life is funny old mixed up thing! x

Sign In or Register to comment.