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 My sister has been engaged for a few years and has her wedding date provisionally booked for 2020. Me and my partner have always wanted to get married in vegas and we’re looking to do so in 2020. We weren’t going to tell anyone until the day it happen. Ours would be before my sisters. Do you think this is ok? Or would you be annoyed if you were my sister? Opinions please

the weddings would be 4 months apart  

Posts

  • RS2017RS2017 Posts: 198

    Would I be annoyed if my sister got married the same year as me? No way! The day before might not be ideal, but the same year is no issue at all.

  • RS2017RS2017 Posts: 198

    Oh and not do I think there is any rule that whoever gets engaged first should get married first. You don’t have to wait for her wedding.

  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 930 New bride

    As long as you don't do it too close and she isn't planning on doing hers in Vegas then it shouldn't be an issue. 

    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.

    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • Barbie3Barbie3 Posts: 340

    U can't put ur lives on hold just because she's happy been engaged for years without confirming things or starting plannin yet.  And unless its within a few weeks either side of the actual date or their actual wedding i don't think there's ne issue.

    I would tell her tho, or at least ask her if they've got ne further with plans for their wedding just to double-check urs doesn't clash

  • SadieeeSadieee Posts: 1,775 New bride

    As long as not within a few weeks then it should be fine (other wise it could interfer with honeymoons and be a pain in the ass for family members having to pay out for hotels, outfits travel, get time off etc in a short period of time)

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 1,762 New bride

    I wouldn't mind at all, but then I have a friend who was adamant that she wouldn't get married the same year as any of her close friends and family as she wanted a year with all the focus on her....so depends how bridezilla your sister is!

  • TeamJamiesonLoweTeamJamiesonLowe Posts: 381 New bride

    Are you eloping?  If you will not have any guests that would have to travel twice you are not being unreasonable.

    However!  If my sister got married in secret 2 weeks before my day and then announced it to everyone right before the wedding I would be pissed off.  I would probaly think she was being a bit attention seeking and would feel it took the focus off me.  Just how close a date are we talking here?

    On another note I would be devestated if my sister got married with telling me as we are really close and were each other's MOH.  

  • Lexi90Lexi90 Posts: 971

    From what you said about not telling everyone until the day I presume it’s only you two going to Vegas? 

    I think it’s fine providing it’s not too close to her wedding date. I would be a bit like what the hell if my sister announced she got married the week or so before my wedding! 

  • KittyFiennesKittyFiennes Posts: 775 New bride

    I wouldn't mind - so long as we coordinated so that we could be at each other's (assuming that's what you both want).  If it's an elopement, I don't think it would matter in the slightest when you do it, or when you announce it for that matter either (so long as it isn't announced at my wedding or a related wedding event). As guests can't attend anyway, their interest wouldn't really be much tied up in it honestly.  'Oh, how nice, her sister M just got married too.  Dear, can you grab me another one of those Pimms, please?'

  • Charlotte413Charlotte413 Posts: 3

    mine Would be April and hers is August so it’s 4 months apart and yes it would be just us going to Vegas 

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Ok so I’m going to be the other side. 

    I got engaged March 2016 and our wedding was March 2018. I loved our day and glad we had a long engagement. 

    My brother got engaged Christmas Day 2016 and got married June 2017. He went to Rhodes to get married. Was I annoyed he got married before me? No. In fact he was the fourth person we knew who got engaged after us and married before my hubby and I.  

    I was hurt that he went to Rhodes and I wasn’t there. No one was invited and the only reason my parents went was because my mum kicked up a fuss. Not even the brides parents were there. 

    While I agree everyone can have the day they want please consider the family members who may be hurt. 

  • Charlotte413Charlotte413 Posts: 3
    MrsLMT wrote (see post):

    Ok so I’m going to be the other side. 

    I got engaged March 2016 and our wedding was March 2018. I loved our day and glad we had a long engagement. 

    My brother got engaged Christmas Day 2016 and got married June 2017. He went to Rhodes to get married. Was I annoyed he got married before me? No. In fact he was the fourth person we knew who got engaged after us and married before my hubby and I.  

    I was hurt that he went to Rhodes and I wasn’t there. No one was invited and the only reason my parents went was because my mum kicked up a fuss. Not even the brides parents were there. 

    While I agree everyone can have the day they want please consider the family members who may be hurt. 

     

     

    We we would have a party and cermony At home to celebrate so they would be involvd that way x

  • SadieeeSadieee Posts: 1,775 New bride
    Charlotte413 wrote (see post):
    MrsLMT wrote (see post):

    Ok so I’m going to be the other side. 

    I got engaged March 2016 and our wedding was March 2018. I loved our day and glad we had a long engagement. 

    My brother got engaged Christmas Day 2016 and got married June 2017. He went to Rhodes to get married. Was I annoyed he got married before me? No. In fact he was the fourth person we knew who got engaged after us and married before my hubby and I.  

    I was hurt that he went to Rhodes and I wasn’t there. No one was invited and the only reason my parents went was because my mum kicked up a fuss. Not even the brides parents were there. 

    While I agree everyone can have the day they want please consider the family members who may be hurt. 

     

     

    We we would have a party and cermony At home to celebrate so they would be involvd that way x

    2 of my SILs still dont talk to their mum (or let their kids see her) as she got married abroad 3 years ago. They had a party and everything when home but that didnt make it any better to them. I only say this so you can be prepared that just because you make the effort to include people in celebrations once home, some people will still react badly

  • cloudatlascloudatlas Posts: 78

    I would say as well, when are you planning on having the party at home? As if you get married in April in Las Vegas but don't have the party til (for instance) June, that would make it a lot closer to your sister's wedding.

    At the end of the day it's really tricky to give advice on this without knowing your sister, as the comments above have shown, different people might react quite differently to it :) 

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830
    Charlotte413 wrote (see post):
    MrsLMT wrote (see post):

    Ok so I’m going to be the other side. 

    I got engaged March 2016 and our wedding was March 2018. I loved our day and glad we had a long engagement. 

    My brother got engaged Christmas Day 2016 and got married June 2017. He went to Rhodes to get married. Was I annoyed he got married before me? No. In fact he was the fourth person we knew who got engaged after us and married before my hubby and I.  

    I was hurt that he went to Rhodes and I wasn’t there. No one was invited and the only reason my parents went was because my mum kicked up a fuss. Not even the brides parents were there. 

    While I agree everyone can have the day they want please consider the family members who may be hurt. 

     

     

    We we would have a party and cermony At home to celebrate so they would be involvd that way x

    My brother and sister in law had a party afterwards but it didn’t change the way some family members felt. My grandparents were very upset. Be prepared for people feeling hurt. 

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 1,762 New bride
    Sadieee wrote (see post):
    Charlotte413 wrote (see post):
    MrsLMT wrote (see post):

    Ok so I’m going to be the other side. 

    I got engaged March 2016 and our wedding was March 2018. I loved our day and glad we had a long engagement. 

    My brother got engaged Christmas Day 2016 and got married June 2017. He went to Rhodes to get married. Was I annoyed he got married before me? No. In fact he was the fourth person we knew who got engaged after us and married before my hubby and I.  

    I was hurt that he went to Rhodes and I wasn’t there. No one was invited and the only reason my parents went was because my mum kicked up a fuss. Not even the brides parents were there. 

    While I agree everyone can have the day they want please consider the family members who may be hurt. 

     

     

    We we would have a party and cermony At home to celebrate so they would be involvd that way x

    2 of my SILs still dont talk to their mum (or let their kids see her) as she got married abroad 3 years ago. They had a party and everything when home but that didnt make it any better to them. I only say this so you can be prepared that just because you make the effort to include people in celebrations once home, some people will still react badly

    My mum got married in Bolivia with only her husband's family in attendance and we were all fine with it, depends on the family. My dad got married in the local registry office and I wasn't invited to that either, I am fine with him too 😁

    However when we mentioned possibly getting married abroad with just our son in attendance my normally mild mannered MIL went LOOPY 😂😂

     

  • SadieeeSadieee Posts: 1,775 New bride
    MrsCToBee wrote (see post):
    Sadieee wrote (see post):
    Charlotte413 wrote (see post):
    MrsLMT wrote (see post):

    Ok so I’m going to be the other side. 

    I got engaged March 2016 and our wedding was March 2018. I loved our day and glad we had a long engagement. 

    My brother got engaged Christmas Day 2016 and got married June 2017. He went to Rhodes to get married. Was I annoyed he got married before me? No. In fact he was the fourth person we knew who got engaged after us and married before my hubby and I.  

    I was hurt that he went to Rhodes and I wasn’t there. No one was invited and the only reason my parents went was because my mum kicked up a fuss. Not even the brides parents were there. 

    While I agree everyone can have the day they want please consider the family members who may be hurt. 

     

     

    We we would have a party and cermony At home to celebrate so they would be involvd that way x

    2 of my SILs still dont talk to their mum (or let their kids see her) as she got married abroad 3 years ago. They had a party and everything when home but that didnt make it any better to them. I only say this so you can be prepared that just because you make the effort to include people in celebrations once home, some people will still react badly

    My mum got married in Bolivia with only her husband's family in attendance and we were all fine with it, depends on the family. My dad got married in the local registry office and I wasn't invited to that either, I am fine with him too 😁

    However when we mentioned possibly getting married abroad eith just our son in attendance my normally mild mannered MIL went LOOPY 😂😂

    Haha I wanted to marry in cyrpus with whatever family or friends could make it and have a party when home and H2B refused as he couldnt be bothered to go through the grief from the 2 sisters all over again haha

     

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830
    Sadieee wrote (see post):
    MrsCToBee wrote (see post):
    Sadieee wrote (see post):
    Charlotte413 wrote (see post):
    MrsLMT wrote (see post):

    Ok so I’m going to be the other side. 

    I got engaged March 2016 and our wedding was March 2018. I loved our day and glad we had a long engagement. 

    My brother got engaged Christmas Day 2016 and got married June 2017. He went to Rhodes to get married. Was I annoyed he got married before me? No. In fact he was the fourth person we knew who got engaged after us and married before my hubby and I.  

    I was hurt that he went to Rhodes and I wasn’t there. No one was invited and the only reason my parents went was because my mum kicked up a fuss. Not even the brides parents were there. 

    While I agree everyone can have the day they want please consider the family members who may be hurt. 

     

     

    We we would have a party and cermony At home to celebrate so they would be involvd that way x

    2 of my SILs still dont talk to their mum (or let their kids see her) as she got married abroad 3 years ago. They had a party and everything when home but that didnt make it any better to them. I only say this so you can be prepared that just because you make the effort to include people in celebrations once home, some people will still react badly

    My mum got married in Bolivia with only her husband's family in attendance and we were all fine with it, depends on the family. My dad got married in the local registry office and I wasn't invited to that either, I am fine with him too 😁

    However when we mentioned possibly getting married abroad eith just our son in attendance my normally mild mannered MIL went LOOPY 😂😂

    Haha I wanted to marry in cyrpus with whatever family or friends could make it and have a party when home and H2B refused as he couldnt be bothered to go through the grief from the 2 sisters all over again haha

     

    Before my brother even got engaged his no way wife said if they ever got married they would run away and do it. 

    I told my brother if he did that could he at least warn me what was going to happen as mum would hit the roof and there was no way I would be staying around for that argument. (My brother lives next door to me so I would never escape that).

    He did tell her they were getting married abroad and mum told him in no uncertain terms she would be there regardless of what they had planned. 

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 1,762 New bride

    I just think everyone should have the wedding they want - why do your mum's wishes trump those of the bride and groom? Presumably she's had her wedding, this was theirs.

    I just can't get offended about these things, wanting to get married alone isn't a slight on the people you don't invite.

  • CheshirechickCheshirechick Posts: 66

    You can live stream weddings from Vegas so you could have a family member in the know invite them over for a meal and surprise them. Win win 😁

  • Emily276Emily276 Posts: 16

    Would your sister know about your wedding beforehand?

    To be honest I think I would be a little miffed if I had been planning my wedding for a little while and involving my sister and getting excited etc and then a couple of months before, she went 'surprise I've just got married!' 

    I think it's ok if you tell her beforehand or if you plan it for the same year but after hers so you are not unintentionally stealing any thunder? x

  • Cupcakes2019Cupcakes2019 Posts: 69 New bride

    We actually asked for our parents and grandparents' approvals before we booked our wedding abroad. We will have a celebration dinner with family and a cocktail party with friends separately. 

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