What Am I Doing?!

So, I've read a lot of the threads you've all written, and thought it would be a good way to channel all my anxious energy, and hopefully a good way to keep me grounded throughout this process. 

I'll pop up all the obligatory back ground soon! 

We're mega early in the process, but i figured at least then it will be an as-it-happens account of the next 22 months!

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Posts

  • Elz2017Elz2017 Posts: 316

    Bring it, love a new planning thread! Great username by the way. 

  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 465 New bride
    Elz2017 wrote (see post):

    Bring it, love a new planning thread! Great username by the way. 

    Thank you! 

     

    I've had a read through yours and cant wait to see how it all pans out! 

  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 465 New bride

    How We Met

    I'd been a serial dater for close to 4 years I think (I stopped counting tbh!)  and after a period of total A Holes I had decided to just take some time to enjoy my own company, forge new hobbies and make more of an effort with friends. 

    It was my best friends partners birthday party, which always becomes some huge deal with weeks of build up. In all honesty I couldn't be arsed. I worked shifts, had a hugely energetic job and just didn't want to have to make myself look presentable, but with the aforementioned goal of being a better friends I glammed up and met a friend to head over. 

    After many jugs of cocktail in the local Wetherspoons, I was chatting to a bunch of guys I didn't know from the extended social circle, and we were all relentlessly mocking the people currently messaging me on Tinder, as you do.

    This guy leaned over my shoulder to read my profile, saw my "ideal date" and just goes "what are you perfect or something". Maybe it was the fact I was about 4 pitchers down, maybe it was the tall dark handsome thing, but my soul found its home. 

    We chatted a bit more ignoring the rest of the group, and then he said he had to go as he was getting a lift - gutting! I pushed a bit, and in trying to nag him to stay we discovered we lived in the same tiny town, about 10 minutes walk from each other! I refused to believe it, i'd grown up there, frequented allll the pubs, I knew everyone! 

    Still, we swapped numbers and he left, and I gave it a whole half an hour until I text him.

    We managed to work in a date later that week, a few days after that I dragged him out to walk my dog with me around our home town, and within 2 weeks of meeting we were "Facebook official". 

    I was never one of these people that believes in fate or soulmates, but honestly, I looked at him and just felt like I was home, like I was suddenly exactly where I was meant to be.  (he's made me such a soppy mare)

     

  • The Proposal

    We were in Amsterdam on a weekend city break, our main holiday for the year really as we had a few trips planned, but all with other people. 

    We had booked a Canal Dinner Cruise, which takes you around a tour of the canals for 2 and a half hours, where you're served a 4 course meal. The trip felt special, it was so lovely to finally have some time just to ourselves. 

    The cruise was incredible, we saw some beautiful sights, and we were lucky enough to have widow seats! It rained ever so briefly, but they had the roof off the boat so poor M got a little drenched! We had both got a bit dressed up, as we just never get the opportunity to at home. The food was phenomenal! We're both very much into our food, and it was just such an incredible experience, finishing just after the sun set over the city. I couldn't have imagined a more perfect start to our trip. 

    M said he wanted to go for a walk around the canals, but my feet were killing (damn shoes) and i wanted to put some jeans on if we would be out til the early hours, so off we walked back to the hotel room. 

    When we got inside, M started telling me how much i meant to him (i thought this was the free wine talking!) and sat me on the end of the bed next to him. Honestly, its a bit of a blur but suddenly he was down on one knee in front of me! I was speechless, and after what felt like the longest seconds of my life i managed to eek out "is this a joke" before managing yes over and over. I can't express how insane it all felt. He chose the moment so perfectly, knowing i'd hate anything in public. 

    He completely excelled, he made sure everything was going as it should, we have been up for close to 18 hours by that point, and the whole time hadn't even hinted that this was part of his plan. We sat for a little while and just took it all in. Some crying, hugging and laughing helped to make me realise i hadn't just imagined it all!

    The next 2 days were glorious, we kept the news to ourselves until we could tell family in person, so enjoyed the sights and tastes of Amsterdam in a blissful bubble. 

    It might not sound like much to anyone else, but to me it was perfect, and i will think back to that moment for the rest of my life with heart bursting joy. 

  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 928 New bride

    Oh what a lovely proposal story! Can't wait to read more! 

    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.

    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • GinAndBling thank you!! 
  • Im so gutted. 

    Last night we sat and had a lovely chat about dates and venues, found a venue we love, and a date that is ideal.....and today i look and its taken. 

    May 2020 people!!! Some of you brides are so organised, i totally get it, but god i'm gutted. 

    We're limited on dates as M is a teacher, so unless we decide to fork out almost £2k more for a saturday, it needs to be over a bank holiday. 

    Still, we have 2 other options left and hopefully ill hear back from the venue soon about booking a viewing. 

  • While i lick my wounds of missing out on my ideal date (and potentially venue) im going to talk about something that makes me super excited... My Ring

     Sorry, i don't know what carat it is or any of that, but its palladium with a Moissanite centre stone, surrounded by 8 diamonds in a halo, with a split shoulder with 3 graduating diamonds on each side. 

    Its incredible. The metal work, the beading, the design. I am so in awe of M, as he designed it and had it made himself! 

    He had been planning it since January, and had managed to keep it all such a secret!! He has put so much thought into every little detail, the type of metal - to withstand my hectic active lifestyle - the stones because moissanite sparkles with a rainbow as opposed to clear, but pairing it with the diamonds to really glitter, and the split shoulder to help support the stones as best as they can, to aid in durability and longevity of the ring. 

    image

    Sometimes i wonder what i did in a past life to end up so bloomin lucky 

  • Venues

    -No Church. Both our grandparents are pretty religious, but it just isn't us. I was MOH for my friend in her church wedding 2 years ago and i thought i was going to go up in a ball of smoke. 

    - Ceremony and Reception all in one place. We don't want to have to move around or drag people around, as we have a few elderly guests that just aren't mobile these days. 

    - No hotels. We just don't like the vibe a lot of the local ones have. Plus i have frequented most for work do's for my old job and they aren't particularly pleasant memories. 

    - Some outdoors space - we want a BBQ in the evening so there needs to be room for people to mill about and relax in the fresh air

    -Photogenic. The photos are so important to me, it needs to have some nice areas. 

    - Food. Probably the second biggest deal to us to be honest. We love our food, and I adore waffles, so this needs to be included somehow. 

     We actually went to visit a venue yesterday morning, it was about £3k under all the other quotes we had found, and i so badly wanted to love it but it just wasn't right. Neither of us got excited or imagined us being there, and seeing as we want the ceremony and reception in the same place, we want it to be somewhere that really takes our breath away. 

    Still , were on the hunt and hopefully ill hear back about Dream Venue soon, and in the meantime i'm going to try and convince M its totally fine to get married 3 days before his birthday 

     

  • Georgina74Georgina74 Posts: 299 New bride

    Ooooo exciting! We were planning a BBQ aswell as our venue is right on the beach but when we went to our menu tasting we decided to go with the traditional meal instead... we LOVE amsterdam too!

    Hope the venue hunting goes as smoothly as poss!

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 1,739 New bride

    Stunning ring!

    I feel your pain on the venues, our venue only does weddings on Sundays, and OH's family all live in a different area so we only wanted bank holidays. We booked in April/May 2017, and only just got the August 2019 bank holiday! We had wanted the spring 2019 bank holidays but by the time OH got back from a work trip they had been snapped up!

    Your venue wish list sounds almost identical to ours, and we are having an evening BBQ too. We are getting married in a pub/restaurant. Which area are you in?

  • We've just moved to Bedfordshire, but originally from Hertfordshire so were looking in both areas generally. 

    Its so mad, i suppose them being really booked up shows they're a good place to go! 

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,121 New bride

    Love your proposal story and the detail and design of ring is so unique - I’ve genuinely never seen anything like it! Your fiancé must have quite the eye for design!

    Really hope you find your dream venue soon. It’s hard when you leave somewhere that in paper sounds amazing but it just doesn’t wow you. We viewed about 12 places and I was starting to feel so fed up when we saw ours - we ended up going for something quite different in many ways to what we wanted (style wise more than logistics wise), so just try to be open minded and not disheartened yet - the right one will come along! 

  • Thank you all for your lovely comments its really sweet! 

    We had a chat last night and decided we'd rather move the date than the venue, so were trying to get a booking to go see them asap so we can book the last date hey have that works for us! 

    I was up all night worrying about it, god knows how ill deal with it all when theres actually things to stress about! 

     

  • TalieDTalieD Posts: 11

    We're early planners too because as you said venues get snagged quickly! We're terrified ours is going to get snapped up before we have the deposit money. Your ring is stunning, so unique! Looking forward to following your journey x

  • TalieD wrote (see post):

    We're early planners too because as you said venues get snagged quickly! We're terrified ours is going to get snapped up before we have the deposit money. Your ring is stunning, so unique! Looking forward to following your journey x

     

    Thank you!! have you got a planning thread running yet? I'd love to see how you get on too. 
    Its so nervewracking isnt it, luckily we have been able to "reserve" our date until next week when we go in, but then were going to have to fork out the whole deposit (which for some reason is £2000 of a £2250 venue). 

    Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly for you x

  • Venue Search

    I thought i'd just take a step back a bit and run through the first venue we saw, pros and cons, and again the one we are seeing this evening that we are crossing everything for!

     

    Eversholt Hall

    image  image

    So it looks very cute and quaint, and wins major points on the affordability scale! It just felt a bit too "village hall" (which is unfair on it, because that's what it is!) and didn't feel very us. The catering they do has great reviews, and the team we met we're really lovely, so definitely a lovely place if that's your kind of style. Only negative really is there isn't exactly picturesque surroundings for photos. 

    Also, minor bug bear that the brochure said accommodation for bride and groom was included, and final quote it wasn't. I'm a real stickler for things being as described, so i think this is a no for us. 

     

    Milling Barn

    imageimage

    So this is our current one to beat - we are going to view it this evening! Although we haven't seen it we're both pretty confident it's the one, and we've said if we like it in person as much as we do online we will put the deposit down right away. It's on the upper end of the budget, but we love it, and it has the most beautiful grounds and woodland surrounding it, so the photos would look gorgeous. 

    They have fantastic reviews for their catering, and seem really flexible in terms of having something much more low key and relaxed. I might even be able to get my dream Waffle Stand!! ( I love  waffles, they're my Achilles heel, and I always said if I got married I had to have waffles). We're currently thinking we might have the BBQ as the breakfast (why do they call it that again?!) and then just a buffet for the evening, it all depends on cost!! 

    It's so exciting but terrifying thinking that in 10 hours I might have an official wedding date!!

     

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,121 New bride

    Ooh what a lovely venue! I hope it turns out even better in real life. When we were looking at venues we were quite surprised at how different some were in real life to what we saw online - which of course can go either way - but it's very exciting! I think when you love somewhere online you automatically know what areas you want to really investigate too rather than trying to take everything in all at once so you'll zone straight in on the really important bits that will seal the deal for you! Love the waffle idea too, I'd be SO excited as a guest to get a waffle stand!!

  • Ashley72 - thank you!! I think because it ticks so many boxes it can probably get away with not having some things that we had thought were vital, but i'm just hoping we get there and get "that feeling" and we will know! I'm also hoping for the sake of my sanity, I don't think i have it in me to google any more barn venues!

  • The Dress

    I hate shopping for clothes, I have some deep rooted self confidence issues, and feel like everything makes me look like a potato, so I avoid it at all costs. When I do need new clothes I tend not to try it on, and just buy in a size that may or may not fit, and wing it. 

    Probably not ideal to do that for the dress though.

    As we're planning for early 2020, it wasn't something on my radar other than casually looking to try and get an idea. 

    I'm somewhat a believer in fate, and as I was browsing on Facebook for decorations and general bits and bobs, up pops this gorgeous dress, only 15 minutes down the road, in my size! (well, my normal size - i'm hoping it doesn't come up too small). So i sent her a message and i'm going to pop over Saturday morning to take a look. 

    I know it doesn't matter if it doesn't fit or if i don't like it, but there's a real part of me that so badly want it to be right!! Part for ease, part for cost I think, and also partly because its the first dress i've seen that has made me go - yeah I like that a lot! 

    Please cross all your fingers and toes that i can get my sizeable trunk into it!! 

     

  • Issa19unionIssa19union Posts: 123

    Hahahaha Im sorry you have made me choke on my tea from giggling. I couldn’t put it in better words, I feel like a potato too and can never explain it very well!I still feel like I look like a potato but more like a garlic and herby sautéed potato in my dress haha so I’m sure you’re going to look amazing!

  • Issa19union wrote (see post):

    Hahahaha Im sorry you have made me choke on my tea from giggling. I couldn’t put it in better words, I feel like a potato too and can never explain it very well!I still feel like I look like a potato but more like a garlic and herby sautéed potato in my dress haha so I’m sure you’re going to look amazing!

     

    your dress is stunning!! If i can manage anything half as elegant ill be happy!! I love your thread, Itll be so lovely to see it come together!

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,121 New bride

    Ooh I'm very much in the same camp with reluctance to start shopping, and also another buy without trying on (and then spend half of my lunchtimes queueing to refund!). I love stories about things that were just "meant to be" and this dress sounds like it could be! I hope you love it when you go to try it on!

  • So I went and tried the dress on! I don't really know what I was expecting to be honest, but here are the photos (I'll delete them after a few days just in case!) 

    Please be brutally honest. (I know it needs a good dry clean) and I'll need to lose some weight but I have time .

     

  • Sian91 wrote (see post):

    You look fab! The dress looks gorgeous on you!

    Thank you! I feel like I have such anxiety about it because it was so easy, and I didn't get the whole "yes this is the one it's perfect" but I do love it, and I couldn't have afforded something so lovely brand new. 

  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 928 New bride

    It's beautiful and suits you really well. Could you get to a boutique this week to try on different styles to see if there is another style you prefer? 

    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.

    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • GinAndBling wrote (see post):

    It's beautiful and suits you really well. Could you get to a boutique this week to try on different styles to see if there is another style you prefer? 

     

    Potentially, although i worry that then i will go and fall in love with something else, and then ill just feel like i made a mistake. 

    I do really like it, and im going to try and customise it a bit too. I think ill at least give it a few months and then maybe go back to it and see how i feel then. 

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 1,739 New bride

    It looks amazing on you, and you certainly don't need to lose any weight! Stunning :)

  • MrsCToBee wrote (see post):

    It looks amazing on you, and you certainly don't need to lose any weight! Stunning :)

     

    Thank you thats very kind of you!

    I think ill stop worrying, and start looking for a nice art-deco belt to jazz it up :) ( love a bit of sparkle haha.

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