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H2B's uncle has booked same venue, help! :(

Hi all

 

So my H2B and I have been together for 5 years and got engaged in May this year. In June we booked our venue for September next year, and told all of of family and friends.

His uncle has been dating a lovely girl for less than a year and they got engaged at the end of June. I was miffed at the time as I was still on cloud nine about our engagement but, what could I do. 

They announced last month that they were getting married in July next year, which is fine. I have only found out this morning that they have actually booked the same venue as us!! I'm fuming! Is that bad of me to feel like that? Our venue is amazing and I feel like the magic of it all has now been taken away. 

Any advice or thoughts on this are greatly welcome.

Posts

  • I would be angry too, especially as he knew you'd booked it! 

    Not sure what you can do though as surely if either of you cancel you'll lose a sizeable deposit.

    Might be worth seeing if they have booked it or just reserved a date....you never know..

  • Imitation is the greatest form of flattery  though I appreciate this isn't going to help a lot right now.  It's particularly frustrating that they are 'beating you to it' in that they are using it first (although the plus side of that is that you can see if there are any issues with the venue that can be ironed out in time for your own day).

    To put it in perspective though, how many people will know about the overlap (i.e. attend both weddings?) obviously I'm assuming most of your h2b's family will, but those that matter (his immediate family) will know that it was 'your' venue first.  Even if they don't they are likely to know that you had planned your wedding earlier than he did and will probably put two and two together.  

    Yes it's frustrating and in my opinion rude (it's just not socially acceptable to steal someone else's venue and use it before they get the chance!!), but it will only spoil things if you let it.

    Lastly, I absolutely promise this won't take the shine off your day - you will have an amazing time and on the day it will just be about the two of you, nothing else will matter x

  • OmRumOmRum Posts: 947 New bride

    I really would try not to be fussed about it. It's obviously a really beautiful venue, and if it was the best you could find you shouldn't be surprised that other people want to use it too!

    It may be the same venue but you'll still be stamping your own 'style' on the wedding.

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,957 New bride

    I won't lie, this would really annoy me - less so if they were getting married after me, but before me would royally piss me off. If there were no crossover guests not so much, but it sounds like most of h2b's family will be at both, and your wedding will then be a bit groundhog day-ish only a few weeks after theirs.

    Would you lose out financially if you changed venues?

  • MrsCToBee wrote (see post):

    I won't lie, this would really annoy me - less so if they were getting married after me, but before me would royally piss me off. If there were no crossover guests not so much, but it sounds like most of h2b's family will be at both, and your wedding will then be a bit groundhog day-ish only a few weeks after theirs.

    Would you lose out financially if you changed venues?

    Yes, we paid a large deposit unfortunately. I'm just really gutted. A lot of guests will be attending both as well which is pretty annoying. 

  • RoseyGold wrote (see post):

    I would be angry too, especially as he knew you'd booked it! 

    Not sure what you can do though as surely if either of you cancel you'll lose a sizeable deposit.

    Might be worth seeing if they have booked it or just reserved a date....you never know..

    It's definitely booked 😥

  • I feel so sorry for you, I would be bloody furious!!! My OH’s brother went to look round our venue after we had booked and were close to booking it as well for a date 3 months before our wedding. I was hopping mad that they even thought about it, as someone else said it’s not the right thing to do!! He actually told me a couple of weeks ago that they nearly booked it as her Mum offered to pay for it all but apparently the staff were snooty so they changed their mind. Got me mad all over again that they were actually going to book their wedding before mine at my venue and then they slagged it off!! Sorry rant over!

    have you spoken to them at all about it to say (in a nice way) that you feel a bit annoyed about their decision? Unfortunately if they are not willing to change venues then all you can do is try and make yours different to theirs so you don’t get people comparing. Ultimately you will still have an amazing wedding day but totally get why you are annoyed! 

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    So I was in love with one venue. It was gorgeous but there were a few niggles. 

    But the biggest niggle was the fact my husbands sister had her wedding reception at the venue a few years previously. Now this wasn’t a huge problem, the wedding was before I had met my husband I had no idea what the wedding was like. 

    It was when my now father in law announced his engagement weeks after us and then said he was booking the venue for his wedding. 

    Even my husband said the venue was out at that point. 

  • MrsLMT wrote (see post):

    So I was in love with one venue. It was gorgeous but there were a few niggles. 

    But the biggest niggle was the fact my husbands sister had her wedding reception at the venue a few years previously. Now this wasn’t a huge problem, the wedding was before I had met my husband I had no idea what the wedding was like. 

    It was when my now father in law announced his engagement weeks after us and then said he was booking the venue for his wedding. 

    Even my husband said the venue was out at that point. 

    Oh no, now that is awful. 😪

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