Should I backtrack on the ring thing?

So a bit of background. 

Me and my OH have been together 9 years; we have 2 children together. I was feeling more and more fed up waiting for him to propose, so in 2014 I took the plunge, arranged it and did it, which can I say is bloody terrifying! (He had previously proposed to an ex and broken it off a matter of weeks later, which I know still haunts him so figured this may be a reason for his lack of proposing to me. Or, you know, maybe he just doesn’t like me haha.) He said yes. I really wanted an engagement ring just as something symbolic to show we were engaged; I brought it up a few times over the coming months (hopefully not in a nagging way, as obviously I was the one who proposed.) I was a bit disappointed that he kept kind of putting it off; his parents were excited about it and offered to have our daughter while we went shopping But it never happened. Eventually I went ring shopping with my daughter and chose a ring I really love (£75 in an antique shop.) OH transferred me back the money as he felt he should pay. 

im not going to lie - the fact that I proposed, then went and chose myself a ring in such a matter of fact way with zero input from him has kind of bothered me over the years. I know people will say that I should have just waited for him to do it in his own time but - it’s 2018! (Or 2014..) 

anyway,we are now full on into wedding planning. a month or so ago he randomly said that he thought he should buy me an engagement ring, something he had chosen because maybe he hadn’t done the right thing before. This meant sooo much to me. I don’t care if it costs a fiver, just wearing something he chose would be amazing. HOWEVER. I do love my original engagement ring. And when he asked me, I just sort of went ‘oh you don’t need to worry about that!’ I have no idea why I said that whatsoever. 

Can/should I backtrack and ask him to buy me a new ring?! This is so ridiculous! 


  • Of course you can. And if you can arrange it, perhaps you could wear both stacked together (or move your original one to the other hand).  I have a super-cheapy kind-of-original ring that I too bought for myself (after my original one from him broke); we went this summer and picked out a new one together, and I have to say, it was one of the most exciting things we have done together (at least for me).  The two rings stack well together, so many days I wear them both. 

    Ring shopping is amazing fun; don't deprive yourself of the experience.

  • MrsTraceyMrsTracey Posts: 815 New bride

    I get why a ring from your fiancé would mean so much to you, and to be honest he may have had his feelings trodden on a bit with you hurriedly telling him not to worry. I would have an honest chat and say that you would love a ring from him, maybe you could wear the original on the other hand? 

    Having said that, I would make sure that he really wanted to buy one. You say he feels he "should" which would be a little red flag in my mind. 

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