How do I approach my mum about this .......

Ok I'm hoping that by posting here some MOB's will reply too!! (it might end up being a long one)

My Brother was seeing a girl over Xmas but it finished just into January, they had only been seeing each about a month when it broke off. Anyway recently it turns out they've been chatting again - although I stress nothing has gone on in terms of going out on there own or even with their daughters. My mum has now got it into her head that another invite to my wedding day will be needed for this girl and her daughter. Now dont get me wrong this girl is lovely and so is her little girl and had my brother not broken it off then I would not have a problem with her coming however our wedding is just under 9 weeks away and I dont think that adding this girl to the list now (considering he's not even said they are together) is appropriate.

I love my mum but she does seem to make just about everything about my brother (he is her blue eyed boy who can do nothing wrong) and I feel that the day would start to turn to who my brothers new girlfriend is as my entire family will be there rather than about me and my h2b. I know that sounds really selfish but i think my wedding day is one day in my life where I can be selfish.

I just dont know how to approach her about it as she will see it as I am offending my brother and by default her, I've asked my dad to try and calm her down about the situation as when she spoke to me about it all a couple of weekends ago you'd have thought my brother was about to move out and in with this girl!

Any help/opinions appreciated

[Modified by: h2509 on 06 May 2008 12:31:57 ]


  • FeeFee232FeeFee232 Posts: 1,159
    What did you father say about the situation or was his opinion leave it with your mum?

    Who is paying for the wedding you or your parents?

    I agree it is your wedding day and therefore you are entitled to be selfish about what you want and who you want there.

    You need to let your parents understand how you feel.

    I would sit them down together and explain exactly how you feel about your wedding day.

    Also speak to your brother and see how things lie with him. For all you know your mum could be forcing them to be together for your wedding day and that is not in his plans at all.

    Hope this helps.

    Best wishes

  • helen2509helen2509 Posts: 237
    Hi FeeFee,

    my dad has said that he will try and put his foot down (or in it) and suggest that my brother and this girl are a side issue. He understands completely, thankfully, but we both (my dad and I) know that my mum will not understand our point of view.

    We are going 60/40 on the wedding and although my parents are the larger portion of that they have always said that they will make no demands on the wedding it is our day.

    I will try and talk to her, we are going out on Friday and it should be a pretty relaxed situation so hopefully I can turn the conversation and make it a friendly discussion.

    Wish me luck x
  • BARNSLEYukBARNSLEYuk Posts: 604

    Maybe you could compromise and say that if they get back together properly then you will have them to the day, if not and they are staying just friends, then maybe you could invite them to the night? Not ideal but it does show willing.
  • Arby1Arby1 Posts: 884
    why dont you ask your brother? if he says he doesnt want her there then he can back you up with your mum. perhaps suggest she comes to the evening do (if you're having one) as a compromise - but again, only if your brother wants her there being as she'll be seen as his date and he might not want that x
  • helen2509helen2509 Posts: 237
    Thanks the replies, the topic didnt come up when I was out with mum the other day and there was no point in which to bring it up so its a wait and see.

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