Not getting along with your own Mother

I'm getting married to a wonderful man next year, whose parents I adore and I can't wait to join their family.

Without going into too much detail my mother and I have never gotten along.

She is not a very nice person, and after cheating on my Dad and leaving him heartbroken, she brought a violent and abusive (mentally and pysically) man into the lives of my sisters and I.

Despite having no desire to invite my own mother to my wedding, I have decided to so I don't upset the rest of the family by leaving her out.

My Dad and I were very close, but unf he passed away a few years ago. This is a very hard time for me as he won't be there to give me away, but I'm very lucky in that I have a very good male friend I've known for 25 years who very proudly accepted when I asked him to give me away image

I was wondering if anyone else out there has a similar "relationship" with their mothers and how did you/are you dealing with it at your own wedding?


  • hi my dad passed away 30 years ago and my mum met and married an abusive man i could not stand him i think it affected my mum and does not like to see me happy so she is not coming to the wedding on the 2nd august 08 upset to that my dad could not be there my brother is going to give me away good luck on your special day x
  • emma892avonemma892avon Posts: 944
    I am the other way round. I lost my mum when I was 12 and my dad then become an alcoholic and beat me every day. I had a younger brother to think off so took it and didn't say nothing. My dad is still alive, but I do not talk to him. Other family members (my uncle, who is my mums brother) keep telling me to invite him. Point blank I have told him it is my day and I will have who I want there. Not some drunk that will spoil it all. I have my dear friend who I call my second mommy there to give me away instead.
  • Terf2kTerf2k Posts: 35
    God yes it even sounded slightly like me! My mother is always a victim and never a perpurtrator!

    I have taken the decision not to invite my mum or brother as they both have issues that they will both put before my big day, kicking off and causing a scene will be the least of their worries. Also because of history and stuff I have no one that I can sit them with etc etc.

    I didn't take this decision lightly but don't see any other solution I already have people in the wedding party who don't get on so to wait for the explosion all day would just be too much especially with alcohol flowing!!

    I hope your mother will be supportive and that your day is as special as you deserve!
  • adams2ukadams2uk Posts: 3
    You will know if you have done the wright thing!

    Its difficult to remember.... with everything to organise.. but it is your and your H2B day. And who you invite is up2 you. If you upset other family members then they really don't know you or your mother.

    My mum has been in a pain inthe arse since I met my H2B and on the day we booked our wedding made demands of who she going to sit next too and who she is was NOT going to talk to!! the list goes no an on and includes comments like maybe she will not be able to get the day off work!

    So we have decided that she is not coming to the day, I finally realised just a few days ago that she would proberbly ruin it with her sour face anyway...

    It is hard but I know now i have made theright decision. And I will have the people around me that we want,

    Good Luck for the day xx
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