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Best man doesn't want to give a speech, help!!


H2B has spoken to his best man who would really rather not do a speech - he is not very comfortable speaking in public and very shy - awwwwwww! Has anyone seen any alternatives to a speech at any other weddings? Alternativly, do you know any good speech websites? I haven't really come across any miracle ones by googling (although I do have rather high hopes from them!)

Any help would be fab!



  • I saw somewhere once that a best man had pre-recorded his speech and they played it on a big screen/projector at the wedding. Have no idea how you'd go about doing it... but it's an idea!
  • MrsTil08MrsTil08 Posts: 2,066
    It's kinda the best man's duty to do a speech! I'm not being horrible but maybe he should of thought of that before saying yes! Maybe your h2b could have 2 best men? One to stand beside him, One to do the speech! It's been done in America. Best of luck with whatever you decide! x
  • We're not going to have traditional speeches, my h2b is really not confident in anything like that and the best man would waffle for hours! We've decided to open it up to anyone who would like to say a FEW words!
  • My H2b has asked his Dad to be best man (he couldn't choose between his 2 best friends and his Dad has done so much for both of us!

    Only problem is again the speech- we have said we are happy for him just to propose a toast- and then I'm going to give a speech instead- other suggestions are a witty friend/family member perhaps to do a fun speech x
  • 2 things............

    1: could h2b have 2 best men one to do speech and another to sign register ect.

    2: best man could make a photobook with embarrasing photos of h2b with phrases written by best man.

    Just 2 things I thought might be an idea, my h2b hates doing speeches too but he can't get of his lol.

    I hope you can come to some sort of arrangement that works for everyoneimage

  • bubble79bubble79 Posts: 753
    I wouldn't worry about it. More wedding than you think don't have speeches from one of the wedding party or the other. I'd much rather go to a wedding where no one gave a speech than someone went on for ages.

    If you really want him to say something maybe ask him if he's happy to propose a toast.


  • My h2b was his brother's best man a few years ago, and he hates doing speeches. So he just stood up and said -I'd like to propose a toast to the bride and groom'. It was fine, and suffice to say we're not having speeches at our wedding either!

  • Thank you! Lots of fab ideas, I am sure he will be relieved, what would we do without this website!

  • EmmaC15EmmaC15 Posts: 495
    Hi, my h2b was best man for his friend in Oct and couldnt do a speech (he doesnt even want to do one at his own wedding) so he did the whole church bit and the groom had his uncle to do the speech. H2b still sat at the top table and was best man in every other way.

    Go easy on him though, h2b was devestated he couldnt do the speech, he really wanted to but was just soooo shy. xx
  • My hubby's best mate from childhood was his best man, he was so so so against doing a speech and I totally understand he is crippingly shy in front of big crowds and he would've hated EVERY second.. Why put someone through that just for 'our' day??? So what we did was we asked someone else to be bestman ASWEL and the orig. Best man helped in the ceremony by giving us the rings and organising stag do and being with hubby on morning of wedding helping him out, the other best man was the speech giver and he was amazing! Everyone was happy with this and we had two very happy best men. It really was excellent and i'm so glad hubby decided on 2 best men, I had 4 bridesmaids so why not!!!

    I think if he's that worried about it he wont enjoy the day and will be panicking the whole time leading up to the speeches... This is only my opinion but speaking from experience it really worked for us doing what we did. Hope that helps!

  • PenukPenuk Posts: 1,121
    The only advice I can give is to prepare prepare prepare. Also if he does write something and has cards, to staple them in the top corner. That way if he drops them they will not fall out of sequence. Visual aids are always good so a slide show would go down well. He could write funny comments on the slides which would take the focus away from him. Hope he is ok and you are pleased with the result. I think most best men are nervous before the speech. Ours will be so we are eating after so he will not be too nervous to eat anything.
  • clujucluju Posts: 2,843
    I went to a wedding with 2 best men who didn't so much as give a speech as show lots of photos and give little stories about them

    things like "this is the door J's parents used to have before he rode his bike into it and went through the glass head first , if you'd ever wondered where the scar had come from thats where"

    "his first football team" etc...
  • leighh5leighh5 Posts: 1,439
    what about a bridesmaid doing a speech instead?x
  • rachaelafryrachaelafry Posts: 4,271
    HI there, my best man was exactly the same so I told him to just say what he is supposed, ie how nice I look and toast us and sit down, he was fine with this and ended up adding a few bits on and he was really funny but it was very short and sweet. My dad didnt want to do a speech full stop he just hasnt got the bottle so my brother did one on his behalf so ours was a bit different from thenorm altogether!! xx Dont worry about 'etiquette' go with what you feel is comfortable I am sure you dont want your best man to be worrying all day unncessarily x
  • katherine-pkatherine-p Posts: 2,947
    If he wants to do a speech but doesn't feel able suggest he ask his doctor for Betablockers to help with the nerves and buy him some rescue remedy and suggest he say the bare minimum.

    If he really doesn't want to suggest he does a video or sound recording that can be played out as an alternative. I'm sure your venue can advise what sort of facilities they have for this.
  • You don't have to stick with tradition - you could always get him and all the ushers to stand up together and do a speech then.

    Or I like the idea of the pre-record. You could really do something nice there.

    He could go to the place you and H2b first met - as long as it wasn't miles away. And do a kind of documentary style take on the two of you??

    Rescue Remedy is always an option or he could practice in front of all his friends? x
  • My best man is the same so instead me and my OH are having 2 speakers each who have known us a long time - I'm having my uncle and my dad's best friend. You could just have someone else instead. I know it's not traditional but may 2ork our better.

  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride

    Definitely don't make him, its not fair and wont turn out well. 2 best men (another to do the speech), a friend or family member stepping in for that bit or maybe you the bride doing a speech are all good alternatives. Don't stress too much, weddings don't HAVE to be a certain way these days.

  • The post is from 2008 - wonder of the bride since married lol x

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