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PLS HELP! is my h2b addicted to porn?

Hi Guys (and also girls if you're reading too),



I am frequent user of this website and am too embarrassed to post under my usual name.:\?



I have caught my h2b on countless occasions either watching porn, storing it on MY pc! Yesterday I saw that he is regsitered with this website - adultfriendfinder! Obviously I changed his logins and had a look. What sane woman wouldn't? He has filled out this ;profile' about where he lives, says he's looking for 1-1 sex or group sex with females! even told them his date of birth, sexual orientation and whether or not he is circumcised! what the!



When I went up to call him so he could explain himself, he threw his laptop on the floor... I said 'watching porn'? and he replied 'no, checking honeymoons'.... later he confessed to watching porn!



This is ridiculous! he said he was watching porn because he knows he's not going to get it tonight!!!





About the website, he swore that he'd never heard of the website and showed me that the emails i saw were unopened and that he had never sent any message and would never cheat on me bla bla bla. I dont think he did send any messages but how the hell did such personal details of his get on there... he tried to blame it on the internet... bla bla bla... i said the internet does not know whether or not you are circumcised and does not know your birthday! what the helll!!!



Then he said that sometimes when you watch porn, you have to type in your details to access 'the good stuff'... why would you need to tell them whether or not you're circumcised to 'watch' porn...



I dont think for a second that he would actually cheat on me.. but this porn thing is too much! He says he watches it most days! He wakes up before me to go to work and says sometimes he even watches before work!



Is this not ridiculous?



Men - in honesty, how often do you watch porn? does your b2b know? I could handle him watching porn, but the idea of him looking at girls in our town! and possibly exchanging pix or flirting online is too much!



am i being unreasonable if i tell him it HAS to stop or else?



HONEST OPINIONS PLS











Posts

  • LAV1983LAV1983 Posts: 743
    I have to say, after reading your message i am really concerned for you! Again like you i have no problem with porn, i am actually quite keen on some myself. Every bloke looks at porn, and has their own stash on a computer or wherever. The thing that bothers me the most is the profile, there is no way that the internet would create that, unless a mate has pulled a prank (which would be pretty sick!)



    I have a male friend who is pretty obsessed with these sort of sites, and i know even when he has had GFs that he has still been on them. I am not saying that is the case with your H2B, i just think you need to know what is happening, and that he doesn't seem to have been very honest with you.



    Just be very careful, don't let him take the mick out of you. It could be that he is just very very keen on porn, but i can't see an excuse for the 'adultfriendfinder'.



    Anyway i probably haven't been much help, lets see what the guys have got to say. I hope you sort it out hun and that no-one gets hurt.



    All the best xx
  • adultfriendfinder is a site where you hook up with people for casual sex.... So he may be planning to cheat on you? Porn is fine yes but that is a bit off! X
  • angel09angel09 Posts: 1,269
    My H2B is always lookin at porn and I seriously have no problem with it, however if I had found that profile thingy I would be go ape shit! Like you say how would it know he was circumcised and even it created him a profile it assumed he was looking for one on one sex?!? his seems proper dodgy to me. Looking at porn one thing that is another level!!
  • kirk110480kirk110480 Posts: 3,339
    Ok, I've been a member of adultfriendfinder in the past (pls don't judge me for that) and you HAVE to give them your details personally, there's no way otherwise. I did it with the intention of finding soemthing, but I know of others who signed up 'for the thrill of it'/ the fantasy of it but once they set up their account they never took it any futher. Either way, your man does sound like he's got a bit of an obsession with it. I'd say the vast majority of men watch/ use porn , my man included - sometimes on his own and sometimes together - I'm fine with that, but if my man had an AFF account then I'd certainly ask him if he could delete it because it could lead to soemthing else. xx
  • sarahlawsonsarahlawson Posts: 1,435
    Hi there girls

    Sorry but I am another girl so no h2b. Both myself an dh2b enjoy porn together and whilst we are apart and we are both fine with that, I know he has been on adultfriendfinder before we met and as he did I signed up out of curiosity and you do have to enter your details to be able to log on. Now I did it out of curiosity to see what it was and I dont go on there now, neither does h2b but we do get emails from them as our accounts are open. If he is still registered with them he will but if he is not using it he wont bother opening his emails from them and they will all be in his deleted box unopened.

    I find that some people are just curious and the best way to understand it is to just ask. Why dont you ask him if you can watch what he watches with him. I do and my h2b doesnt mind. You will find that it 1) increases your sex life and 2) lessons his curiosity as you are more open to things so he will feel like he doesnt have to hide it from you!

    I hope this is helpful!

  • thanks for your comments girls.



    the messages in his email inbox were there, but unopened and unread... but it still doesnt excuse the fact that he signed up to it. If he admitted that he signed up out of curiousity, it would be one thing.. but he lied and said he must have added his details elsewhere and it set up an account on his behalf... which is clearly NOT TRUE! this is the part that makes me mad...



    I really dont know what to do.



    he obviously has a problem and if it were just porn, i could deal with it.. but this? why is he lying? i gave him the opportunity to tell the truth.



    any guys?



    I'd appreciate your comments...

  • shoogsukshoogsuk Posts: 10,344
    if none of the messages were read then maybe he did sign up himself and then realised what an arse he was being and never went back?

    most men love porn ..... and most men when caught out will automatically lie to cover their arses..... perhaps you need to sit down and talk to him calmly and find out what is really going on .....



    ..he does that chance to explain himself. trust is a very fragile thing..and if you cant trust him can you really marry him?
  • sarahlawsonsarahlawson Posts: 1,435
    If my h2b is anything to go by then he will lie just because he doesnt want to hurt your feelings or he doesnt want a bloocking. I think men get the fear of God installed in them by there mothers because my h2b is always petrified that I am going to have a go at him but usually when something happens (like when I first found his porn stach) I found it amusing. He thought I was going to hit the roof for some reason and didnt tell me. Now he doesnt hide anything from me, he openly reads his emails when we are lying in bed together and tx messages etc. Maybe your h2b is the same and is worried that if he said it was just out of curiosity then you would nag him and have a go. Try asking him what it is and seeing if you an have a look. Or if that fails then why dont you sign up yourself and see what all the fuss is about. You dont need to give out any personal details at all - make them up!

  • i really am very understanding and when i found his porn stash///and i mean stash... i did smirk to myself... and enjoyed knowing without his knowing! If he said he signed up because he was curious, i woudl say fair enough.. so long as you dont do anything... and i genuinely believe he would never cheat on me... and no i'm not a deluded b2b... he really wouldnt.. he has more balls than that and would just break up with me so that he could go elsewhere.... but its the lying that really bothers me..



    i hate lies. I was brought up that whatever it is, tell the truth...and at least you'll maintain a shred of respect!



    Sarah L perhaps he is afraid of how I will react. I will tell him I wont go mad, I just want to know the truth...



    sigh..
  • Like most of you, I have no problems with my other half giving himself a treat when I'm not about, in fact I have become a bit of a legend amongst his mates because he proudly informs them that HE borrows MY porn more often than not, lol!! HOWEVER, I would be a little worried about a) that website, because it is a website for people looking for casual discrete sex, and b) the fact he feels the need to lie to you!



    Just be frank with him - say you really don't mind the porn (watching some together might ease some of the tension and also lead to a very good nightimage ), but say that the website thing really upset and worried you. Don't be afraid to put your feelings out there, because he needs to know what is acceptable and what isn't.



    Good luck, try not to worry too much x
  • Ok a blokes take on this......



    Best case....one of the things a bloke misses after he meets his mate is the thrill of the chase......websites like aff allow for situations to exisit where you can realise this experience without the actual reality of having to carry it through.......as long as he doesnt meet any of these contacts (who may indeed by 20 stone truckdrivers pretending to be 25 year old nymphos!!!)



    Worst case....hes on trying to meet a girl for no-strings fun......then its get out of there quick im afraid.



    Hope this is helpful
  • Sorry but he is lying, the only way all that stuff could be on adultfriend finder is if he put it there. The internet doesnt do it for you! I have a friend who is a member on there and I asked him about it. He said its a place people go for no strings sex and that when you join you set up a profile with all that stuff on it. My friend did say though that some people who meet up on there just have cyber sex, and like the thought of being with another women without actually doing it for real, so it might be that he's doing that, as he doesnt think its cheating?

  • my man just cant lie, i can see straight through him plus he starts to smirk etc. I'm more mad at him when he tried to lie about something than if he just told me the truth in the 1st place. I've seen pics on my H2bs phone of naked women, which he keeps telling someone sent it but I wasn't born yesterday coz his phone bill says files downloaded. I sort of have an issue because I have a confidence thing, I consider myself fat and not got the best assets in the world. But I let it go and tell him I dont feel comfortable and he's fine with that. Men like porn its a fact of life. But I think if there are emails unread from this site then he just did it coz its well free porn.
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