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Any body else's Mum / Dad's not interested??

Hi



I wont bore you with the details but is any body elses's parents making you feel like getting married is an effort for them??



I guess i should be uaed to it theyve never shown an interest in me so why would they start now



Sorry i sound so self pitying!! Just need to vent it !! xxx

Posts

  • I think you should just think of yourself and have a fab time if thats wot they are like.

    Afterall, you're doing it for you, not them.

    I go to cyprus on sunday and get wed 25th sept and my dad has just had a nervous breakdown and won't be able to come. I have to admit i'm gutted and have prob spent most of the last few days crying as its only just happened, but I realise I just have to get a grip as i will ruin it for my h2b otherwise! As sad as i feel the show must go on now that we are so close, and we do have a reception booked for here.

    You will have a fab day with/without your parents as you are marrying the love of your life. You just need to think of YOU.xx
  • Aw Lister0205 thats awful for you image( Sorry to hear that xxx Like you say, you will still have the Reception when you get back.



    Im so annoyed at my parents at the mo.



    Hope every thing goes well for you, im sure it will be amazing and you can come home and tell your Dad all about it xxx
  • Hiya hun. My parents are fab but H2B's parents couldn't be more uninterested if they tried. I find it very annoying so can't imagine how you feel when its your own parents.

    We get married in Cyprus and it looks like they're not coming. Not that they've had the decency to tell us that, we only know because H2B overheard his Mum telling a virtual stranger that they're not coming! Everytime we mention the wedding they change the subject. It used to get us down but we've decided to just be like them and not give a s***. If they come they come but we'll have a wonderful time whatever happens and I think they'll regret it more than us in later years.

    So my advice is remember its a day for you two and while its nice if family show an interest and help out etc its not the end of the world if they don't.

  • Thanks Linzi108 - Well that was nice of your H2B's Mum eh!!!



    My parents have never been the "interested" type - never came to sports days, plays, any thing like that i pretty much looked after myself since the age of 7 as they were always away so i dont know why i am finding it so upsetting now !!! im 29 now and think i've only really noticed how unintersted they actually are in comparison to friends / H2B's parents. Very very sad. I just hope i dont turn out like them xxx
  • I think most women think that a wedding will be an occasion that will be something you and your parents will share closely(especially your Mum) and it must be disappointing to find they don't share your excitement quite as much. How do you get on with your H2B's parents? Hopefully they're better than my future in-laws and can try and help make up for some of the disappointment your own parents are causing you.

    I'm sure your experiences will make you all the better as a parent.



    Sorry to hear about your Dad lister0205. I hope you have a wonderful time and your Dad gets much better.

  • I know exactly how your all feeling h2b's dad says he cant understand why we want to get married abroad and that he would "struggle to come" was so close to saying dont bloody bother then!!!!

    xx
  • EmmaNYEEmmaNYE Posts: 194
    I've also learnt to think just think about me and h2b as it's our day and as long as we're doing what we want that makes us happy, and not to worry about other people. We also have thought whoever comes to wedding abroad fantastic if people don't then they don't. If we changed our plans to suit others then we wouldn't be doing what we want to do. sorry, I know that might sound selfish?!
  • My moms totally not interested, but I think the reason is that the wedding is not untill June 2011, so she thinks it is so far away that it's too early to start thinking about it now.



    I know she'll be excited nearer the time but probably not untill 1-2 months beforehand.



    She can't get her head around why I am planning everything now, she thinks I'm being over the top for planning 'so far in advance'
  • mum2be2011mum2be2011 Posts: 1,172
    I was brought up by my Grandparents and they don't show much interest at all to be honest. H2b's Mum has been fab though and has gone shopping for cakes, dresses etc with me and always listens no matter what wedding related subject I'm talking about. I feel that when you say you're going abroad people think it's selfish but they forget that it's not their day it's YOUR day and if you want to get married in the north pole you can because it's your choice! At first we weren't sure that all our family/friends would be able to make it abroad and we had to content ourselves that it may only be us and close family, however, everyones reactions have been great and all the most important people will be there which just makes us realise what amazing friends and family we have. x
  • mum2be2011mum2be2011 Posts: 1,172
    I was brought up by my Grandparents and they don't show much interest at all to be honest. H2b's Mum has been fab though and has gone shopping for cakes, dresses etc with me and always listens no matter what wedding related subject I'm talking about. I feel that when you say you're going abroad people think it's selfish but they forget that it's not their day it's YOUR day and if you want to get married in the north pole you can because it's your choice! At first we weren't sure that all our family/friends would be able to make it abroad and we had to content ourselves that it may only be us and close family, however, everyones reactions have been great and all the most important people will be there which just makes us realise what amazing friends and family we have. x
  • Feta you hit the nail on the head when you said you realise things about your parents. I def have realised a few things that probasbly shouldfnt have happened when i was younger! Thanks Guys - at lesst i know im not alone. Hope all works out with you's xxx
  • I can understand also, I lost my dad this year suddenly to Cancer and my mum had a stroke 4 years ago and lost a lot of her memory, she forgets I am actually getting married or who my fella is. I think its easier to accept that people be it your parents may not be interested and get the support for people who are truly there for you. My H2B mum is fantastic and in a nice way has been very much a mum to me in the last couple of years, she treats me like one of the family already and was over the moon when we announced our engagement (she is being pushy about wedding plans now but that's another story). I know other parents who are not interested and its hard I know but there are always people who are there for you and are happy for you. Just don't let it affect your plans and your day and don't give them any say. Invite them but concentrate on all those who give you more support.



    Good luck xx
  • Hi ladies, I had the same thing with both my parents and H2B's parents, we also said we would like to get married in Mexico and when we announced our engagement we were told by H2B's family that if we were planning on getting married abroad then they wouldnt be able to come so we planned to get married over here until we realised that despite that we had changed our plans to try and accomodate them they still were not interested!!! It was costing us double to get married in the UK and they still did not really care so we both decided that we were not going to be told what to do and said we would go back to our original plan, they have 12 months to save up (even though they will not bother) and we are doing what we want now, just wanted to say no matter what you do there is no pleasing some people and you and H2B have got to look after number one!!



    Enjoy your day!!



    W xx
  • Hi All

    I must admit that the fact that my mum is showing hardly any interest in my wedding is absolutely gutting me!!! She professes to really like my h2b but just doesnt seem interested in anything to do with the wedding! She doesnt even want to come looking at dresses with me which is really upsetting as she even said to me that she probably should come but wont be able to fit it in as she is too busy!!!! Bear in mind she has retired!!!! My dad on the other hand asks as often as he can remember to as he has parkinsons ,but he is really sweet and tries his bestimage h2bs parents heve been really good as well but just want my own mum 2 bimage i'm her 1st kid to get married and im the youngest at 34!!!! I really thought that she would be over the moon!!!!
  • My mum is not that keen on my H2B....she seems to prefare the boyfrinds that treated me like dirt!!! I have had all theimageops: why are you getting married....why abroad...it's too expensive...it only ends in divorce. When my mum came to see me in my dress for the first time I felt real emotional and when I came out she said....yeh that nice...and that was it!!!! I just think if that was my daughter I would so excited to see her...mothers x Hope everything will be ok as we are all away together for 2 weeks x
  • My parents are being great but H2Bs Mum and Step Dad are not happy we are going to get married abroad. They keep pointing out negatives every time it is mentioned so we have stopped bothering. H2B has said he is just going to tell him when and where and then leave it up to them if they decide to come. I was feeling really bad as I want them there for H2B but now I realise day is about us and noone else. It is your day and you will have fantastic time.



  • When we told my MIL that we were engaged she said she was in shock, and proceeded to spend the next 6 months on a sabotage mission, telling us we weren't right for each other. We bent over backwards to reassure her, accomodate her, grovel to her new husband. I changed my plans and gave her a reading to do to make her feel included despite her past behaviour.



    Then 3 days before our wedding abroad she learns that we had to do the paperwork part first in the UK, but that is all, no ceremony etc. She then refused to attend unless we declared to all our guests that we were having a "sham" marriage. We told her we wouldn't be doing this. So she didn't come. She also emotionally controlled her other son so that he felt unable to come.



    2 days before the wedding I felt very upset and low, and felt she was managing to sabotage my day. However everyone else attended and everyone was brilliant. It felt like because people had made a huge effort to be there, everyone wanted to be there, didn't feel compelled. There was no negative feeling at all, just a huge amount of support. When friends and family asked we were honest about the legalities and no one was bothered at all.



    We have found it hard to cope with her decision, but I'm very glad she didn't go, because only positive happy people were there and that's what ultimately mattered.
  • hi mrssmithjuly22



    I have had the exact same problem with my parents and I have found it incredibly upsetting. When we rang them to say we had got engaged they showed zero excitement or interest in the matter especially when compared to H2Bs family and my granparents and aunties. My mum refused to help me look for a dress, in fact once we were passing a shop that had a few bridal dresses in and I asked her to come inside and look with me she actually RAN OFF across the road that is how much she didn't want to. They helped pay for my brother's wedding 3 years ago but said they could not help us at all but then they have just bought a new car. I still love them but I fear I will never be able to forget their behaviour.



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