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please help me i dont know what to do !

ok so my daughter is 10 months old in a few days. she has just started going to a childminder 1 day a wk and my sis in law to be 1 day a wk as well (this is until the new yr when she will be going to the childminder the 2 days a wk) so i am back at work for those 2 days.

she seems fine when she is not with me, when i pick her up from childminders or sil's shes absolutely hine. but ever since this started she has become so so so clingy to me on the days i have off with her !

its actually getting to the stage where i just want to go and lock myself in a room & put ear plugs in ! i CAN NOT put her down with her screaming & crying. i cant leave the room without her doing the same. i cant get anything done, i cant even go for a pee !!! she has always been quite an attention seeker but i always know where to draw the line but she is getting unbearable now. its really depressing me & i dont know what to do about it image


  • Please do not worry hun, my daughter went through exactly the same phase. That's all it is hun, a phase. My friends little boy went through the same it lasted a couple of months. The best thing to do is keep her into a routine, so that she knows when your going to leave her and when your not. Your also going to have to be cruel to be kind and let her cry.. otherwise she will think everytime she throws a tantrum you'll pick her up...x
  • it more to do with her age and the fact that this change has come when she would normally suffer with sepration anxiety anyway is just bad luck for you sweetie. i know hearing that it is normal doesn't help with teh fact you nbeed to put up with it but if you need five mins to yourself to get yourself together, as long as she is in a safe place, take that time. do you have a bumbo? if you can sit her on a similar seat while you are doing your thing, it may help reassure her that you are not going to keep leaving her. read up about sepration anxiety if you haven't already. understanding does help. try using some sign language (makaton) with her to help her learn to communicate before she is able to say words etc. it has helped me and although it may not work, there is no harm in tryng. agree with keeping with the routine but keep her close. just don't keep lifting her etc. she will learn very quickly. they pick up on your stress and play on it. its their survival instinct kicking in. they are not doing it to be horrid. xxx
  • tanroe09tanroe09 Posts: 4,121
    Ah i can really sympathise with you hun. my little one has just tunred 8 months, and is going through exactly the same stage!! some days are better than others, but shes soo clingy to me the majority of the time.

    She has got a bit better the last few weeks, but think this is cos i've had to be strong and put her down and let her moan! i know it sounds really mean, but i have a 3 yr old as well- so need to devide my attention between them both, oh and the housework, and cooking and h2b!!!

    Just try and be strong and put her down, let her cry it out!! just talk to her and try to calm her down whilst shes on the floor, hearing your voice should help her realise that you're still there!! goodluck hun, and let us know how it goes

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