Forum home Emotional support

crappy wedding

I am not working at the moment so my h2b is paying for everything and trying to save to buy our house at the same time! So We are getting married at the Register Office and then having a BBQ at our garden for about 20 people. I couldn't afford to buy the dress or cake I wanted, we aren????t having live music, no even having a honeymoon! since he will be back to work two days after the wedding! I am excited about getting married, but sometimes I feel a bit sad when I think the things I would like to have but can't! imageimage


  • MrsLJC2bMrsLJC2b Posts: 451
    hun that's really sad, you can still make it special though. What size are you? Just that I have a stunning wedding dress worth £1000 that I'm not wearing that I could send you? It's size 6-8.

    Put up some gazebos, put on your ipod, drink some wine and I bey you'll have a much better time than you expect xxx

  • JvLwithBabyBoyJvLwithBabyBoy Posts: 2,740 New bride
    your wedding isnt crappy. its intimate and personal. i admit i absolutely loved our wedding day but to be honest, the things i remember and loved most about our day are those that didnt cost a penny. i remember seeing my husband for the first time that day, the amazing feeling when we were officially married, the people who came from all over the world to be there with us... the rest is just details.

    and i promise you, you can make it amazing on a small budget too. my cousin coldnt afford her dream dress so she rented one. she looked beautiful. and fyi i personally think that a bride wearing a simple floaty dress from monsoon with only a flower in her hair looks stunning! your garden would look amazing with fairy lights everywhere or those gorgeous little lanterns (think the wedding in mamma mia!) and instead of a traditional wedding cake you could have a cake buffet. surely your aunties or friends can bake something. if youre not working at the moment youll have time to make some diy stuff which will look great on the day.

    hope you feel better hun. xx
  • MrsH-tobeMrsH-tobe Posts: 76
    Ah HAPPYBRIDE20 I can see why you're feeling a bit rubbish but the others are right- you can make it special and at the end of the day the most important thing is that you'll be married and starting a new phase of your lives together.

    Try not to feel sad- lots of people aren't in a position to have everything they'd love but you have the whole rest of your lives. You can always have a lovely renewal of vows or party for a significant anniversary later on once houses are bought and money is a bit easier.


    M x

  • MrsHedgehogMrsHedgehog Posts: 158
    I think you need to look at this as an opportunity to make a totally unique and personal wedding by focusing on things that are really important. Instead of trying to have a typical wedding on the cheap you can totally break the mold and come up with all sorts of quirky ideas to make your day special. I'm having quite a big wedding because I have a large family but I don't have a huge budget. I had to let go of the visions I had for my perfect wedding and in a way it's quite liberating. I have neighbours doing the flowers, a friend's mum doing make-up, another neighbour making my cake. Try to think out of the box and you should be able to come up with a very special and romantic wedding. As for the honeymoon why don't you have a honeymoon at home. Go for romantic walks together, cook a romantic meal at home and decorate your bedroom with candles and rose petals....
  • panettone13panettone13 Posts: 378
    Happy bride 20,

    it sounds lovely and intimate to me! Weddings can be so OTT. Your will be what it's really about. You can do so much with so little. Candles outside/white bunting could make it really romantic...

    We didn't have live music either just an ipod and it worked really well. I'm sure once you get over the dissapointment of not having the fairytale wedding (it's not all it's cracked up to be believe me!) you can start thinking of all the lovey things you can do.

    I honestly think it sounds lovely!

  • maybe you can add afew personal touches which dont cost money.

    E.g someone you know could sing you a song etc...
  • Thank you so much for all your replies girls! Well, I have no family members here so nobody can help me do anything. But I just found out my mum will be able to come to the wedding and it just has made my dayimage
  • MezCMezC Posts: 563
    What lovely advice! I sometimes wish that I could afford the beautiful dresses I see on other brides on here - that's the one thing I wish I was going to be able to afford. Other than that, there is lots that I have started making for the wedding that is going to look great!
  • MrsHanleyMrsHanley Posts: 654
    How lovely is that offer from MrsLJC2b! What a sweetie.

    HappyBride20, it's a shame it's not the day you dream about but it's a really lovely opportunity to personalise it and add your own twist to all the little details - there are so many gorgeous bits and bobs you can do on a budget.

    Hope it turns out to be the day of your dreams (I'm sure it will!) xx
  • Hey,

    check out wedding tv's three grand wedding. I think they have a player on their website, but they have loads of great money saving tips for budget weddings, so maybe you can inject a little of the big and fabulous for not much money?

    Seriously though, I would definately think mamma mia wedding, summer, floaty dresses, wild flowers, candles and fairy lights and close family, friends and alcohol, sounds perfect to me image

  • EriksfjordEriksfjord Posts: 123

    I think it sounds great - and what is more you will have a wonderful excuse to renew your vows in a mega way one day!

    My day won't be big and flashy and I have found all the excitment to be in all the offers friends and family have made to help with things - even the MiL is making the cake!

    I wish you every happiness for your day.

  • HamillcamHamillcam Posts: 226
    Another idea for your wedding cake, have a cone shaped (pyramid)stack of tunnocks tea cakes with sparklers on top. Cheap and different from the traditional cake!

    You could make the garden look great with cheap things, that the girls have suggested. Things hanging from trees, like tea lights and lanterns.

    Also it might be an idea for people to pay for the things you would like as a present, my friend is asking people for money to pay for their photographer because they want to remember their day but are on a budget that can't stretch. People will love to see that they are contributing.

    It sounds cute to me, not crappy! image
  • We're doing the same - wedding at a register office (very nice one though - Georgian building set in a lovely park) followed by a meal at home for 15 family. No cars, best man, bridesmaids, etc. Photographer just for 1 hour at the register office - 20 photos on a disc. It's all we could afford but I'm really excited!

    We're putting lots of fave tracks on an i-pod to feed through the amp and speakers at home, I'm making a big chocolate cake and we got the champagne and wine on a super, duper, extra special deal with Tesco vouchers.

    I've been to some humungous weddings in the past which have cost more than £50,000 and I'm sure ours - and yours - will be no less enjoyable (probably even more because at least we know all our guests and really, really want each one of them to be there).

    So please try to view this as an opportunity for intimate enjoyment that hasn't cost a fortune!

  • Forgot to say - 2 days afterwards my husband will be going back to his work 250 miles away from where I live and I'll be returning to the office as well. We're going on our summer holiday a fortnight later, but the grown up children are coming for the first half! Great - business as usual...

  • GoldsGirlGoldsGirl Posts: 497

    i know you're feeling down but please don't. its the people that make the day, not the place. i'm sure you will get to enjoy your day more than most who have ahuge wedding and at least you willget to alkt to everyone not just have aquick hello!

    Chin up xxx
  • HamillcamHamillcam Posts: 226
    over 1000+ views and only 16 comments image

    Hope you are feeling better about it today image
  • Daniellef82Daniellef82 Posts: 240
    Just to let you know i got my wedding dress online including shipping for £75! It is a Maggie Soterro 'inspired' dress from It looks like i paid over a thousand for it! I can't believe how amazing it is! My budget was £500 which i still thought was alot for a dress i mean our car cost £900 why would i spend that much on a dress!!?

    We are getting married abroad as it is cheaper, i have managed to get lots of bargains. We are having a town hall garden ceremony and a meal on the terrace of a local restaurant. We are paying for our family members but friends have no shown their interest and are coming on holidays and paying for their own meals..

    Your wedding sounds intimate and special, like all weddings shall be. I would rather attend a wedding like yours where you feel part of a special intimate day rather than a wedding of over 200 guests etc where the day turns into a spectical (sp)of who can get the bigger/better venue.. dress etc and that overshadows the reason that your having it in the first place.. to declare your love to one an other image


    I can understand why you are feeling a bit low but your day really will be amazing!!!

    I have a Maggie Sottero dress that i am happy to lend you if you are in need of a dress. It is a really beautiful dress with a corset back that would fit a size 12 or 14 i guess. Im not sure what size you are but if your interested then drop me an email. [email protected]

  • angelcake71angelcake71 Posts: 523
    Hey Hun

    dont be down.. I can understand how you feel though, my first wedding washow you are describing yours to be, except we went to the Beefeater after and everyone paid for themselves.... I just had family and that was it.. no cake or wedding dress, I had big ideas too of what I wanted, so the come down is hard, but on the day it was lovely, but I always planned to renew my vows and do it properly when I could, well after 14 years, we split up, and I am with my new fella, and getting married in September, atthe grand age of 39 and with 6 kids, I am only now able to have the wedding that I always wanted.. so hunee, hang in there and plan a renewal of vows when you can afford to.. xx
  • look on the brightside, you get to marry the man you love. you are being sensible and doing it within your means, that is very admirable. if it were me in this situation i would make the most of it have the best day of my life and be happy that 20 people wanted to be a part of my day too. you can also think about renewing at a later date when your finances are healthier. i really think you day sounds wonderful. Make the most of it and remember what the day is all about.
  • Weddings are really what you make them - not about the budget - I had my heart set on Otterburn Towers in Northumberland, the floaty dress, the works. The my fiance becomes ill and plans change.

    We are marrying in our local registry office, with only a very few of our closest friends and family in attendance. We have a lovely house (which not all invited have seen) so we are decorating that for our reception - god parents, sisters and friends contributing to the buffet. My dress and shoes have come from ebay and have been customised - i honestly think, on a rough estimate, our beautiful wedding will costs approx £500. Its not three weeks away and i cant wait.

    I know it seems cliched but you are marrying the man you love - everything else is extra. Good luck, keep your chin up, email me for some budget ideas if you want.

    Loves Jx
  • Snelly2beSnelly2be Posts: 160
    As all the other ladies have said, your day will be special because you are sharing it with people who you actually want there, rather than having to invite the world and his dog!! When we started planning we thought we'd have over 100, not we're donw to 60 guests and i'm actually happy because it'll mean more for the people there and we'll get time to spend with them.

    The things that you could spend so much money on you could do for free or very cheap, such as planting loads of colourful seeds in the garden to be in flower when you have the wedding, and as everyone else says, fairy lights, tea lights lanterns etc are so pretty and decorative!!

    As long as you and your hubby are there, make the most of it and it'll be so special, and you won't have the worry of spending what you don't have!!
  • I am always so impressed by the support I see on this forum and this thread in particular has really touched me. You ladies are so generous!

    I agree that your wedding sounds like it will be gorgeous - I am having a small registry office then a BBQ at our local pub, and not because we can't afford to have something bigger, but because we wanted the day to reflect us and only have those we really care about and who have been a part of our relationship over the last 6 years to be there when we make our vows.

    We have many friends who enjoy baking and so we are having a cake competition and inviting our guests to bake a cake that they think epitomizes us, we will then taste each cake and award a prize. This also means there will be lots of fun and delicious cakesimage

    I loved the Mamma Mia style wedding with the fairy lights - they look so beautiful and are really cheap to buy. Same goes for tea lights, so if I were you I'd stop thinking of what you can't have (my brother had a big wedding a couple of weeks ago and said to me at midnight - where did all that planning, money and time go?) and instead focus on the opportunity to have a really beautiful, intimate and personal wedding that all your guests will remember for years to come image

  • I think that this sounds like it will be really nice! I understand when you say about the dress but just try to look at the positives image like the others have said, it's nice to just have those who really matter to you at a wedding, it doesnt have to be about spending a lot of money and by adding personal touches such as candles in the garden, etc, you can make it really special! ipod would also be lovely as u an ur h2b can choose music together for the day image x
  • cebpickle1cebpickle1 Posts: 6,786
    Your wedding sounds amazing!! My wedding is so much bigger than I wanted it to be as my family is so huge.

    It will be so personal and you cna have things you really want. Have you looked at hiring a dress or on ebay/ preloved etc?
  • Giraffe888Giraffe888 Posts: 678
    I don't think your wedding sounds crappy. I think it sounds personal and intimate and sounds like it will be a lovely day. You've had some great ideas from other ladies which will make the day even more special image
Sign In or Register to comment.