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Advice Needed ...Wedding List Etiquette


We're getting married in Cuba in July 2011 and are just having a few close friends and parents along as wanted it small and intimate.

However, have had the odd Aunty ask about wedding gift i'm getting married overseas a) do i just do a list to those we've invited (which i dont want to do seeing as they've forked out to attend!) or b) send out wedding gift list to people who we would have invited if we got married in the UK? (which i then worry people will take offence at as not invited overseas!) or c) have a party when we come back for everyone and do a list for that or d) not do a list at all! We have everything we need and would only ask for money towards the 'honeymoon' if we did a list.



  • janeyptjaneypt Posts: 175
    it's a nightmare isn't it! We decided not to have a list at all because, like you say, people are forking out to come. As time goes on I keep seeing things that I like and I would have put on a list so I'm wondering about setting one up. I thought perhaps just put it on all the invitations, we're inviting people who we already know won't come but then everyone gets the same, but as you're not inviting everyone could you set up a list and then just tell people who ask? Spread the word via parents etc?
  • We didn't send a gift list with our wedding invites purley becomes everyone was spending a lot of money to come to our wedding abroad. Although it may seem like a great idea to get married abroad, remember it may not thrill everyone else.

    Regarding your second point, are you saying you want to send a gift list to those who you are not inviting to your wedding abroad? If I have read this correctly, then no, you shouldn't send them a gift list. I think they would think wtf?!!

    About a gift list for the wedding party, that should be okay.

    Enjoy your wedding abroad. It was the best thing we ever did!
  • Thanks guys

    Have decided not to have any list at all! IF we have a party later on (the plans of which i've put on hold for now as causing more arguments than the wedding) then i may do something if people ask about what we'd like!
  • We sent out an information letter with our wedding abroad invitations at the bottom we put "Your presence is present enough so there is no need to buy us a wedding present thank you" I really did not want guests that have spent a lot of money for our wedding . I personally think that it would be very rude to have a wedding list for those guestsand if I received an invite for a wedding abroad and I was going I would think it was very rude indeed !

    For our wedding party when we got home I put another little poem at the bottom (found it on this website) something like "your presence is present enough so please don't worry about getting a gift as we have plenty of stuff if you really want to give us a gift then a John Lewis voucher would be grateful received" therefore giving guests the option. Many guests got us vouchers some just a card which was fine.
  • you cant have one for any of the people i think - x
  • We are having a party when we get home and I have considered asking for vouchers but my H2B's family are adamant that it would be rude. I'm now thinking of just sending out the party invites with no mention of a gift and if people ask we can then spread the word round that we would like vouchers. Otherwise, come the party, we'll be knee deep in photo frames and candlesticks!
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