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from wedding high to grim low

nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253
didnt want to put in emotional support as not sure if youl all understand and was worried about responses

we were cleaning out the hamster cages and picking things to go on the gift list this evening and we knew that our last male was coming to the end but having a look at him tonight we have decided to get him put down tomo. its ok because hes had a tumour for months and went his little friend died two weeks ago we wondered how hed cope and it turns out he just isnt.

what makes this most unpleasant is that because the man is working all day and im working all evening tmo so hes asked if i can d during the day on my own. im terrified, im not very good with death, ive only just got to grips with living the last couple of years, i dont know how im going to cope-i know the vets is good with crying from when i got my eldest dog spaid but its just so hard to make that decision and have to deal with it on my own. its going to sound silly but it makes me think of my eldest dog and how il cope when its her time-shes the reason im here

sorry im in a bit of a state, i would have written on the pet forum but i havent been there in ages so thought id pop it here

its horrible when youre surrounded by all the fantasy of a wedding and real life rears its nasty little head


  • mebananamebanana Posts: 114
    It is so, so horrible to have to have a pet put to sleep. It is the right thing to do though, to let him go painlessly, and at least you know it's going to happen so you can prepare and say goodbye.

    Hugs x
  • Im so sorry to hear this as cliche as it is you just have to remember its the kindest thing for him right now. Hope you're ok can you go towards the end of the day so at least the mr is close to coming home?
  • lyndadavis3lyndadavis3 Posts: 537
    Oh that's really sad image

    I get very emotional about animals - my dog that is with my parents is really old and I get all sad when I think about when I saw him at Christmas as he's got arthritis and can't see very well.

    They're like part of your family so it's completely understandable. It's surely emotional support that you need now - hope you're not feeling too bad. If it's any consolation I've had a few little cries about my dog for no other reason than I know the inevitable will probably happen soon image

    I won't say keep your chin up or any of that rubbish as I know from experience it won't help but you know your hamster will be in less pain and had a great life with you.
  • FloFlo Posts: 432
    I can't totally understand where you are coming from and it's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Often animals treat us better than people do so it's quite understandable that we grieve for them. Obviously we know it's worse when people die as more people are affected, but when our furbabys leave us it can still really hurt.

    It is the best thing and so much kinder and easier to deal with than leaving your little man to suffer for your own benefit. When my cat got poorly with FIV i really struggeled afterwards with the feeling that i let him suffer for too long before making the decision. If anything making that decision and taking him to the vets is a very selfless thing to do on your part - you have given him a brilliant home during his time here and are doing what's best.

    Hugs honey, I know how you feel, but take comfort from the fact that he had a lovely home and was loved and won't be suffering xxx
  • Chloe_B2013Chloe_B2013 Posts: 512
    Completely understand hun, it's so sad image

    I think all we can ever do is to try to think about the happy times and remember we have always done what is best for them, right up until the end. Know it's not much comfort at the moment and it doesn't really help, but at least you will have chance to be prepared and have a proper goodbye, give him a big cuddle and tell him how much you love him.

    Don't be worried about coming on here for support, we understand, they are so much more than pets. Hugs.x x x x
  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253
    thanks. just feel a bit in pieces, am surrounded by my girls (the dogs) at the mo too which is nice

    when the hamsters die we pop them in the compost bins partly so the dogs cant dig them up and partly so their bodies can stay with us making my garden look nice. itl be nice when hes tucked up in there
  • You should never worry about reaching out with a genuine issue for which you need support. I do not know what to suggest as I have no idea what I'd be like in your position. is there anyone who could go with you for support?

    ETA good luck xx
  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253
    You should never worry about reaching out with a genuine issue for which you need support. I do not know what to suggest as I have no idea what I'd be like in your position. is there anyone who could go with you for support?

    ETA good luck xx

    thanks, i dont think there will be anyone free to help me but i can distract myself with my work in the evening.

    i didnt mean you CBW just in case you think because of your 'before you post' thread. i just dont like to post in emotional support, there are bigger things in the world than a hamster but he was our first boy. we're naming the tables at the wedding after the hamsters and i think we'l be sitting on his table 'Titchy' (because they are dwarf hamsters)
  • I know it wasn't aimed at me image That is cute, the table names. I hope you're ok tomorrow. Come and post on here if you feel shaky when you get back home, there is always someone ready to be nice to you on this place - the daily thread girls will look after you x
  • Love the table name idea!
  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253
    we knew none of the current hammy hams would make it to the wedding day and probably the next sets we get wont either so its there way of being at the wedding (our wedding is otherwise completely focused round the dogs you see)

    thanks CBW, means a lot
  • lizzydeelizzydee Posts: 275
    So sorry nat2013. You're always so lovely on this forum. It's so hard when the babies go. I made sure that all of my passwords at work are some reflection of their names. Please don't be sad. These little creatures are here to make our lives better so please celebrate your hammies. You loved them and looked after them well. X
  • I'm so sorry about your hamster and hope all goes as well as can be expected tomorrow. How lovely that his memory will live in in your garden and at your wedding as well.
  • It's horrible when you have to have something you love put to sleep!! big hugs and I'm thinking about you tomorrow!!

    The table name idea is lovely!!
  • flossycat100flossycat100 Posts: 6,527 New bride
    The thought of what will happen to our cat one day is one of the most upsetting thoughts and neither of us will even discuss it because it's so upsetting, so I can completely understand where you are coming from. Your hamster will, though, be at peace and in no pain, and I admire you for spotting the problem with him like you have done. So many people would bury their heads in the sand and prolongthe inevitable. As others have said, try and go later in the day so it's not long before your H2b comes home, or else come on here for some support. Good luck to you x
  • MrsCloMrsClo Posts: 637
    So sorry nats. All the best for it today. xx
  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253
    thank you everyone. I took him in this morning and about 90 mins ago his loneliness was over. he's tucked back up in his bed for the man to see him when he gets home before we compost him tonight. i think im going to have the afternoon off and just cuddle with the dogs

    thank you again to everyone, i felt much better once it was done image
  • flossycat100flossycat100 Posts: 6,527 New bride
    Bless you Nats. It's a really horrible thing to have to do, particularly when you're on your own, but you have been really brave and done the right thing for him x
  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253
    thanks, dont think about the end of your cats, enjoy them. when we got our first dog it took me ages to realise that i wouldnt have to give her back at some point and she would be with me always, which obviously then led to the idea that she wouldnt be with me always and i only have to start thinking about that to have a cry.

    lots of love to everyone's furbabies image
  • RowenaFWRowenaFW Posts: 2,078
    Hey Nat, sorry to hear about this. I used to keep rats (29... I'm a bit insane) and several of them had tumours and had to be put down, as rats are prone to tumours. Every goodbye moment was terrible, especially because it's always hard to accept that your "babies" can go before you. But they're rats and hamsters and we just have to accept that. I hope you're feeling better about him and the composting and table names will keep him with you forever. xxx
  • NowMrsB2012NowMrsB2012 Posts: 4,835
    Im so sorry for you Nat xxx I think cuddling the dogs is a good plan, animals know when you are upset so they will keep you company.
  • xxxx sounds like you were very brave.
  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253
    not very brave at all, cried all morning while walking the dogs and then as soon as i got to the vets i cried some more until i held his little dead body, then i felt a bit better and then i cried some more. the man came home not long ago and we buried him in the compost where we buried his mate two weeks ago so that feels a lot better now. il clean his cage out tomo and then itl all be done
  • Poor Nat! I know how you feel, I brought home goldfish from a wedding at my work, and I had to put down one in the first week, I cried and cried.

    Sending you hugs for you losing your little guy. I've had several hamsters so I know how attached you get to them.
  • mrsroe2bmrsroe2b Posts: 131
    Oh Nats image You poor thing.

    I honestly can't bear the thought of losing my kitty. I'm living abroad atm and by the time I go home it'll have been 12 months since I properly lived at home with her and I just can't think about her not being there image

    I always have nightmares about my tortoises dying too - the good thing with them however, is that we got them as little tiny things so they will outlive us image

    And totally understand how you feel. We rescued a pigeon about 3 years ago, we nursed it, I in particular got really close to it, and it seemed to not be in any pain, but deteriorating, and when she died, I cried for two hours! We only had her a week...

    We also looked after 3 baby blue tits last year - baby birds are almost impossible to raise and I advise against it. Of the 3, one lived to be released, but when the other two died it was just so sad. image

  • mebananamebanana Posts: 114
    I have 3 cats, and while the thought of losing them is horrible (we lost one at 21 months a few years ago to a heart condition and it was awful) I am kind of comforted by the fact that I will have known them and cared for them from them being tiny right till their dying day (presuming I don't meet an untimely end!). Not sure if that makes me a bit weird!

    Well done for getting through today x x
  • Chloe_B2013Chloe_B2013 Posts: 512
    Hugs Nats, you were so brave, I'm sure he knew how much he meant to you.x x
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