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Toddler tantrums

How do you stop a 2 year old having terrible tantrums??? And how do you stop them hitting and kicking you?? My 2 year old has just started hitting and kicking me and laughs when she is doing it. Shouting doesn't work, the naughty step doesn't work. And I am getting to the end of my tether. Last night she hit me in the face with a trainer, my husband wasn't in at the time. She wouldn't have done it if she had been as she is good as gold for him. I know she is just testing me to see how far she can go but its getting annoying and painful.

Dawn x


  • Mrs BakeMrs Bake Posts: 1,651


    My son was the same, and still now (at 6) has his moments when Daddy isn't around.

    I found that to walk away and not say anything each time she/he does it soon sends out the message its not ok. I used to pick zach up, move him away from me, then go and sit down somewhere else I could see him. I didn't say anything and he soon came crawling back over and would say sorry.

    I wish I could say it's an instant fix but keep at it.


    Good luck! x

  • We are having the same problems! He's actually drawn blood on a couple of occasions when scratching. Hoping it's just a phase!x
  • MRMRS2014MRMRS2014 Posts: 1,279

    I don't have any advice for you im afraid,my 16 month old daughter has started doing this. She kept hitting people in the face a while ago but then stopped, she has just started doing it again but only to me, she scratches, hits, bits and pulls my hair. She has done it when daddy is sitting next to me but she is a bit more sneeky about it hoping he wont see her. I have tried putting her on the floor (she is normally sitting on the sofa with me when she does it), telling her off firmly, shouting, naughty corner (although not sure if she is quite old enough for that atm), ignoring her, but nothing works she just giggles thinking it is funny and when i tell her off she either grizzles for a little while or does it more! She knows what no and stop mean and she also knows what ouch or hurt mean because she has said them when she has fallen over so why does she still do it when she knows it hurts me? I feel like she hates me and hates being with me image. I will keep an eye on this thread, hopefully will be able to get some tips image x

  • mrsleggomrsleggo Posts: 807

    awwww..mrmrs2014, thats what I'm going through exactly. Gonna try leaving the room tonight and leave my hubby to deal with her.

    Last week she threw a 4" plastic meerkat at me and it hit me at the side of my eye, she nearly blinded me, she laughed then said "Mummy you'll be alright" when she realised I was actually crying.  

    She sometimes makes me feel like she hates me too, especially when she tell me to "Go away" or "leave me alone mummy"

    Dawn x

  • cebpickle1cebpickle1 Posts: 6,786

    Dawn do you have access to a Webster Stratton course near you?  I help to run for foster carers in my day job and some useful information. When she has tantrums providing she is safe then ignore.

    The hurting you can't be ignored though.  It might be reverse psychology but it might be worth doing a reward system for being nice to mummy.  She is too young for star charts when she hurts you then I would sit her down away from all toys and distractions say you have hurt mummy so i need you to think about what you have done.  Easier said than done but might be easier when you have calmed down.

    Then for rewards for being nice could be stickers or grab bag with cheap things in, break the day into blocks, get a reward at lunch time if has been nice to mummy all morning.  Then build up to all day.  If she hurts you at this point of day remind didnt get your sticker as you hurt mummy.  Praise her at any point she is kind or friendly to you or others

  • abi2889abi2889 Posts: 486
    We were getting some bouts of major tantrums with our 3 year old and we found that taking a toy away at that moment helped her see an immediate affect of doing wrong. We would tend to take whatever she was playing with (this is usually at bed time I might add) and tell her because she is being naughty we are taking away Buzz/teddy/barbie and if she does it again we will take away Raffe (her favourite toy that goes everywhere) this tends to work! We also do naughty step, where she has to sit quietly and tend once she's calmed down I tell her what was wrong and she says sorry. We tend to go with taking stuff away for bad behaviour and regards for good behaviour, so it can be she's not allowed cartoons on, doesn't get to help baking, cant have a cupcake that sort of thing. It took a little while to sort out what workd for us, I hope you find a solution too!
  • HRoper2bHRoper2b Posts: 563

    We have had to start dealing with a very strong willed 14 month old in the last week or so.  it has taken me totally be surprise as I thought we had a while before this started!  Whilst I know he undertands no, he is def too young to reaason with.  I dont have any solution to offer I am afraid, I am still getting over the shock of the change of the last couple of weeks!! 

  • fruitpastille25fruitpastille25 Posts: 1,030

    My LO is 18 months and has been having tantrums for a while but has hit on a couple of occasions in the last few months - mainly hubby

    I tell her "no" firmly and put her on the bottom step to sit quietly while I talk loudly to whoever I am with. I leave her there for a little bit and then ask if she is ready to say sorry. If she says "no" she has to stay there a bit longer but if she says yes I tell her to say sorry and give a hug and a kiss and then explain that she has hurt daddy and made him sad.

    I'm not sure how much she understands but I think it's good to stick to the same routine.

    Sometimes now when she does it she looks at me straight away and says "step" so she knows she shouldn't have done it and what the consequences are.

    When she has a paddy I just ignore her as long as she is safe and they dont tend to last long.

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