When to get married - can't decide?!


i just got engaged on Saturday, my OH proposed whilst we were on holiday in Thailand, and i'm so happy and excited! I know I should just enjoy being engaged for a while but I can't wait to start planning! I just can't decide on a date! We've been together for over 6 years and I really would love to get married in 2014, but I'm guessing trying to do summer 2014 would not leave enough time to plan. So trying to decide do I forego the summer wedding and have a winter wedding next Dec, or wait it out until Summer 2015.

Any thoughts/suggestions on whether next summer would be too little time? or pro's/cons for winter vs summer wedding?! I may get a better idea when we start looking at venues and what dates are available  but just wanted to hear other peoples thoughts!



  • MrsNoelMrsNoel Posts: 486

    Exactly as you said, until you speak to venues, you can't know what availability there is. People cancel, dates not till an so on. 

  • Hey Joe!

    Congratulations on your engagement! Personally I don't think that summer 2014 is that bad in terms of timing to plan a wedding. I am getting married in April 2014 and only got engaged and started planning in Oct'13 so you can definitely do it with less time. YOu just have to be organised! I booked the main things within the first couple of weeks.

    Also I noticed when looking for venues that some places still have availability for summer 2014 and were offering really good 'last minute' deals! So if you can be flexible with your dates I am sure you can pick up some good deals!


    My planning Thread - http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/charlies-classic-spring-wedding/397460.html

  • CharliesClassicWedding, Thanks! that's given me a bit of hope! I thought there'd be no chance of getting summer 2014, and also being ably to plan it! I am unbelievably organised by nature, and already had a wedding spreadsheet created the day after we got engaged lol! I'm hoping to start looking at venues in Jan as we're busy all the next few weekends and away over Xmas so that will be my first chance so as MrsNoel said i'll get a better idea then!

    I'm wanting a bit of a travel theme as we travel a lot and it's a running joke with everyone about how often we're away so it has to be incorporated. Would probably fit better with summer wedding, can't decide if that theme would fit with a winter wedding?!

  • TadpoleTadpole Posts: 2,134 New bride

    Just one thing to be aware of is that some dresses take 9 months to come into store... image but really cannot think of anything else that you wouldn't manage to arrange for next summer! I am getting married in July and feel hopelessly unorganised but know we will get there at the end of the day  xx

  • I totally think a travel theme would go with a summer wedding, you could also make it fit with winter, have you been to any cold places! image You can have table names of lapland! 

    My top tip for planning a wedding in a shorter time period is to be decisive! What I did for my pre planning was researched loads of venues online and made a shortlist to 4 places and then booked to see them all over a long weekend and then chose one of them. You can look for ever! Some times you just have to make a decision!

    Then with the rest of the planning, not sure if you could do this, but I took a week of work and tried to do as much as possible in that week, I booked florist appointments, catering tasting, bridesmaid shopping, cake appointment, hair and make up trial, 3 wedding dress shops! And if you like something and they are in budget just book it then and their! I did 3 wedding dress shops in one day and told myself I would choose one of the dresses in that day, and I found one I loved!

    Well thats how I did it! And you had a wedding spreadsheet in one week the same as me so maybe this could work for you too! image

    Although its christmas now you can always look online and make all the bookings for the new year.

    In regards to the dress shopping, I had my dress made to order and it took 3 months, I had to pay an extra 200 for a 'rush' order but it can be done, a friend of mine ended up buying one just of the rack and getting it altered! Mine will come in in Feb and I will have a fitting and then the store pre-booked the tailor for one week to solely alter my dress for me.

    I think the thing you need to the quickest is once you have a venue and date is get those Save the Dates out, that was the first thing on my list and then invitations can follow later giving you lots of time to do them!

    Anyway hope that helps, Good Luck! image

  • herstoryherstory Posts: 1,268

    Your venues availability and the registrars / churches are the main things that will influence you.

    We booked our venue in September this year for May 2014 but we nearly had to have a rethink as the registrar only had two time slots available 12:30pm and 5pm, so don't sign with a venue until you have provisionally booked the registrar / church. Our venue held the date for us provisionally for 2 weeks, so we could think about it an check the registrars availability.

    If you want to get married at a certain time on a Sat or Sun in summer 2014 you may find your choice of times is limited, I got a bit of a lecture of the registrar who pointed out most couples give notice 12 months before, not a mere 9 months.

    I will say as long as you are willing to compromise on somethings, you may not have to but you may find your first choice supplier is booked, then a summer wedding is realistic. We have had a good run of luck and all or first choice suppliers have been available, guessing because it is a Sunday wedding, although as it is a bank holiday everyone gets the next day to recover without having to take a day off image

    I should admit I bought my dress within a month of us booking the venue and we secured our photographer within a week, the DJ was included in the venues package. We also decided on our guest list during the two weeks our venue provisionally held the booking for us, mainly to check the numbers would work but also so as soon as we told our parents we'd booked a venue they knew who they could extend a verbal invite to.

    So if you decide on summer be ready to make decisions quickly. I have given up on trying to find bridesmaids dresses, and hopefully getting them made - I don't have many weekends before my wedding and don't want the hassle of bridesmaid dress shopping, the cost of getting them made locally is worth the lack of stress! I could probably order something similar from china for a quarter of the price but if it doesn't fit then that's more stress. It will also stop me getting annoyed at my friends, its not really their fault, we just haven't found anything that suits them both, and while I suggested they could wear different dresses they have said they want to wear the same.


  • Thanks for all the very useful responses! you've given me a lot to think about! I shal hopefully have more of an idea after this weekend as going to see a couple of places so we can see what they look like all decorated at this time of year! May help us decide! And also to see what type of availability they have. My other thought was September time as a few friends got married sept this year and it was gorgeous weather!  i know it's not guaranteed but I seem to remember the last few years there's been a few decent weekends in September so could be another option. 

  • We just decided we were getting married 4 weeks ago after 10 year together.  Were getting married in July in the Dominican and having a party on our return.  Ordered my dress last week and it will be here in April so all is looking good.  Even got my bridesmaid dress.  Happy planing. xx

  • I'm getting married in April 2014 and we got engaged in October 2013. We secured the venue/date/registrar by late October/early November and everything else I did last Saturday. Yep I bought my dress, sorted the florist, cake, photographer, suits for the guys,  & invite design all on one day. The only thing I've really got left to sort is the bridesmaid dresses. But as Charlie says, you do need to be decisive! 

    Good luck! 

  • Wow, I'm so impressed with people's organisation! I've just booked my first couple of venue bookings for second week in jan, hoping to get a few more in that weekend. My prob is going to be travelling between the north and the south to view venues, source suppliera so poss means I may have to skip summer 2014 as will only be able to get down on weekends as can't take too much time off work in first few months of the year. If only my OH could have proposed a couple of months earlier lol he said he'd been thinking about it since then! 

    roughly how how long does it take looking round venues and meeting with the wedding coordinator? 

  • herstoryherstory Posts: 1,268

    I found it takes about an hour to view a venue and discuss options with a venues wedding coordinator, although the venues we went to look at I ensured I had as much information as I could about them before I went so the visits were a look around and asking a few questions.

    The follow up meeting to draw up the contract, which we then had 2 weeks to sign, took about an hour too. If your not able to visit your venue once you have decided to double check your happy with it then your initial meetings may need to be longer, so you can cover everything you want to. I was glad we did a second viewing because it confirmed to us that was definitely the venue we wanted.

    I do kick myself for not taking pictures of our venue, there are some online but they don't cover every area we will be using, so that's on the to do list for the first planning meeting, it is also why I am holding off making any defiant decisions about decorations!



  • BexgreenBexgreen Posts: 505
    My friend got engaged in july and married in november so you could definitely get something planned for next summer.
  • BexgreenBexgreen Posts: 505
    Joebella - you and my friend who got married in november are so similar they love to travel and used maps to make their order of service, places for table names, heart confetti made from maps for the tables. You can defo incorporate it into a winter wedding
  • Well I went to see a venue today and it did look very pretty all decked out for christmas and was beautiful! but then the weather had me leaning towards summer again as it was just horrible here today! But my OH is now keen on winter because of the cost savings lol

    Bexgreen, we have had some similar ideas about the travel theme! I saw a pic on Pinterest where someone has used luggage tags as the seating plan so the name of the table was a destination the couple had been too, which I think was really cute and fits with what we were planning for our tables as we wanted to do table names of our favourite destinations! Can't wait to start planning those details .... but should probably set the date first image)

  • BexgreenBexgreen Posts: 505
    Its all very exciting :!)
  • Congratulations on your engagement!!!! 

    Mr Mc and I had SEVERAL conversations about engagement lengths and how it would affect our lives... We decided that we would either have a long engagement and start a family fairly soon after the wedding, or we would get married sooner then wait to have a family... To me, it was important to have a big - ish wedding, so we decided to save for a bigger wedding (lots of reasons for it!) 

    If you've been together that little bit longer then I say go for it and book it sooner rather than later! We booked 2 years ahead, and someone we know got engaged last month and is getting married the same day as us... I think it just depends on your life situation and how quickly you can get organised!! xx

  • Well we have about 6 venue viewings booked for jan so should get a better idea of datea then. One of my fave venues said they're almost booked every Saturday next year so if we wanted to get married there it may have to be 2015 as it needs to be Saturday for us due to a lot of family travelling. Got a meeting with a photographer booked too! Hoping to get venue decided by end of jaN. Did speak to one venue yesterday who had several summer 2014 dates available, but the quote he sent me last night made my eyes water so that'll be a no! theyve only juat started doing weddings this year and he said he was trying to get business so could do a good deal for us so I was expecting a lot smaller quote! It's more than some of the bigger posher venues in our area, was very surprised! 

  • From my own personal experience, I got married in early August a few years ago. I always wanted a summer Wedding and just couldn't imagine it being any other time of year. Unfortunately, the weather was not great at all, which was very upsetting at the time but it was still quite warm, and light in the evening, so I don't regret picking a summer wedding. It depends on your venue though - if it doesn't have much outdoor space then an autumn/winter wedding would be just as good (and cheaper!) image

  • MannyManny Posts: 14

    I'll vote for a winter wedding. Great for honeymoon! image

  • i second the vote for a winter wedding! im having a winter wedding! you might not get sunshine if its mid summer in this country! its cheaper (venue and honeymoon) and can be romantic with candles etc. plus so many people have summer weddings so some guests will not be able to make ur wedding due to previous commitments.

    oh and working week weddings are also cheaper!

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