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hen do chief bmaid hell :(

Well ladies 


I can only say after i have some truly amazing friends in my life, BUT also learned some people are not worth being chief bridesmaid! Ok this is long winded but I’ll keep it short version!

So on the Friday i got a hot tub all the girls paid £20 towards it, it took 4 hours to fill this thing! (that’s important)

Anyway me and my friend spent the afternoon getting ready and it was sunny with blue sky so we had a sneaky go in the hot tub.... 3 hours of fun chatting and drinking i had such a lovely time. So all the girls came and well we drank and so on... anyway my chief came with some girls i know and well they are more her mates and sister so on.... anyway they decided to go in the hot tub.... oh instead of sitting there like normal people they went rd. and rd. in circles and emptied all the water out! So then it was like well I can’t refill It, it was so hard to fill 4 hours of a horse pipe attached to my hot water tap with pissing water pouring out! N me running outside with pans of water. It really annoyed me!

Anyway the next day we’d already come to realise there was a divide in the group, it was let’s say chief side vs. my work mates. Chief lot took hold of my living room and in my own house I was made feel un welcome, I was along with my work mates made to sit in the dining room why they all sat with curtains shut all day! WHO DOES THAT? Anyway they took all bacon did not offer it anyone all I got was… hope they did not want bacon we’ve eaten it? So my work lot let well apart from myself and one of my other work mates who’s another bmaid!

Anyway I told everyone start getting ready to go out as we was all meeting at 4pm in local pub and it was 1pm… we was 30mins late long story short because they were all getting ready and took ages.. I left without ear rings, as I was so stressed we was going to miss the train and be late for cocktail making plus my family and other friends where ringing me asking me where we were.

Got to the pub and I was quickly sat down by my mum and sister and then we had a drink the girls all vanished and then they appeared with goodie bags for each girl (my work mate bmaid had done them) anyway the chief had got me a bride to be banner. Then I was told to look out the window outside and to my shock horror they had got me a PINK HUMMER LIMO! Can I say I know some may think tacky but omg it was my dream to have a limo and I cried I was so thankful and my 4 other bmaid had come together along with another friend and all chipped in for it!

So we all went out and got into the limo I was still sobbing….. the chiefy and her mates all sat at one end and I was with all my fambo and friends at other side. They all had their own bottles of wine and was shouting what songs they wanted on… which bugged me…. anyway Went to cocktail making and I sat with my h2b fambo my mum, 2 bmaids and friends…. We had an amazing time doing cocktail making and it was fab I was so drunk,….

Anyway the next group did the cocktail making, my sister, sis in law, cheify her mates, and my work mates… cheify burned her hand and caused a stink saying it was shit in there and how the music was rubbish anyway I was very drunk and my bmaid that had organised limo put don’t stop believing on as it’s our wedding song anyway that set me off again crying. Hahaha.. Anyway we went onto another club and to be fair I can’t remember anything after that…

SINCE the hen do I’ve been brought into light about other issues that have happened with the cheify…. She turned rd and informed one of my other maids that my ‘work mates’ would not be following us a


  • us after cocktail making as they had dared to buy another drink and she was not waiting for them..

    She’s been nasty over the limo saying coz at one point there was over 16 girls coming from the pub to the cocktail making so some may have had to get the train and she was like ‘I’m not leaving my mates’ …. And been just nasty

    I don’t want rant I know I must sound awful im just so upset I don’t want girls that have done a really nice thing for me to be made feel like this over her… Shes the only one to not come and see me in my dress, she’s the only one who’s never replied to any messaged about how she would like her hair for the wedding and im just at a loss now!

    Im actually hoping she don’t show up at church rehearsal as then I can demote her how bad is that? I’m scared of pulling her as I don’t want a full on war 5 weeks b4 my wedding. I deserve my dream day I love my h2b so much I can’t tell you. This is a day I’ll always remember and I don’t want her spoil it.

    I need advice im so upset honestly how she’s behaved L what do u do without causing murder? Just smile and  get over the wedding…. She does not deserve be chief but 5 weeks till wedding im stuck in limbo

    I could cry L im so sad! x



  • I didn't want to read and run and reading it and seeing how upset you are just reminded me of something....firstly what a bitch! Know that doesn't help but all thoug. Reading I was thinking jealous cow! My SIL2B had the big white wedding (ours is intimate with 16 of us...including the dog), she had three bridesmaids, 1 a nice girl, 2 her male cousin (straight and in suit...just thought best clarify lol) and 3 a jealous little cow. 6 weeks to go no hen night, so SIL asked me to meet with the two girl BM to sort it (oh I am über organised and plan things a lot) (male would just go with whatever and give money we needed lol) guess who didn't show?! I should also add SIL was very ill and at one point we thought she would go down aisle in wheelchair. So we planned an afternoon at the in laws, afternoon tea and games followed by meal out, so I emailed the group explaining what SILatwanted and this cow sent me such a nasty email, so I put her in her place, anyway it went on, she wasn't interested, wouldn't turn up for dress fittings, would ignore SIL when trying to rearrange fittings....I know I am taking age to get there but I will....and it came to hen and she was so rude and then people turned up and turned on the charm and was the great i am, then made this ridiculous speech 'in five weeks she will look stunning' we shouted it's four weeks...silly cow. when she was half hour late for practice and then wouldn't go get ready at theirs on morning if wedding I was thinking hmmmm....SIL kept saying I wish I could cut her out, she isn't my friend....and it was awful on the day and I must admit my H2b had to keep me away because that was it for me, with her cronies (SIL school friends) taking advantage of the free bar, and it really upset her, and at the rehearsal SIL said to me when this is over I am never speaking to her again...and she hasn't! All the photos with her on where never used and any that where cropped, and I know it hurts her. I wish she had got hold of her whenit started and said what's going on, you aren't interested, not bothered either buck up your ideas or tell me you dont want to do it...because she regrets that. It would have sorted it one way or another and not put a cloud over her wedding, her hen, her preparations. I would advise that you need to speak with her...don't let it take over your day Hun. Sorry it took a while to get there lol xx

  • If I was you Hun I would pop round to see her and explain that due to her behaviour on your hen it's become obvious that she's not really focused on your wedding etc and that due to this you no longer want her in your wedding party you would just prefer her to come as a guest

    if she protests I would say that other people made you aware of other situations that she caused and it caused you nothing but stress and your bridesmaids should be there to help you not hinder so you've made up your mind but hope she can join you as a guest 

    leave it at that and if she doesn't attend then you know she really sing your friend 

  • :D:D Posts: 1,805

    I would speak to her face to face about how you feel and that you don't believe that she is being supportive. I would not send a message as it can then be spread to other people and things like this should be addressed in person.


    Explain what you heard and how you felt and the impact her behaviour had on you and your friends. Hear her side of the story and go from there. I hope all goes as well as it can. I think the majority of us have BM issues unfortunately image 

  • Thank you ladies for replying i know this is a very 'bitchy' post and im really not a bitchy person if anything confrontation im so bad at i cry. I know what shes like shes going to turn it all round on me somehow.. Im due to go and see her with her dress anyway but with my mum and my mum is gunning for her but shes like me too soft to say out! Cowards almost! But i think i need man up and just get it said coz if she spoils my day i'll regret it.

    It just mind blastes me that shes not even attempted make friends with anyone whos there in the day, shes going to be on her own with her husband on a table with girls shes been really mean and nasty too and my 'work lot' are also going to be there. They are not going to do out they said they would never ever spoil my day but they said if they get her on her own they will say something sly! They are organising another hen do for me a week b4 wedding as i never spent much time with them which is lovely. 

    I know friends drift apart but i just never honestly thought she would turn out so sour faced and everyday i wake up more and more mad over it all. I even thought of just telling photographer not even picture her! ha 

    Aghhhhhhhhhh bugger! But honestly thank you for replying ladies even just venting it has really helped, my h2b just went 'girls' when i told him although he was shocked at some of the things she had done. Why are girls so bitchy? x 

  • Well it's two days to your wedding, how are you doing and did you get sorted? Xx

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