Massive need of a vent...
Brace yourselves ladies... I will try and be brief!
I'm done with this planning lark. Done. I'm just done. I love the fact I am getting married, I love my partner so much I can't comprehend it. I love how happy he makes me everyday. But I want this flipping wedding to be over with. I am done nagging people, chasing people, dealing with family politics, being blamed for stupid things, making inane decisions about the stupidist stuff.
I think I had a moment of madness last week when I actually shed tears over table number stands. Not the table numbers (lovely stationer who has been very accommodating, would seriously recommend her to anyone!) but the stands. The stands the table numbers will go in. No one will notice them, no one will pay them any notice whatsoever but it suddenly became my job to chase up where they are coming from, who is providing them, what height, type, size and colour they are. I feel am a relatively intelligent human, who on earth has to put actual brain power into this inane nonsense???? Brides. Thats who. As soon as someone asks you to make a decision about anything, the "Well if its not right it will be in my wedding photos/memory/my family's memory for all eternity" thoughts creep in and it suddenly feels make or break. Maybe I am the only one here... but I am flipping sick of it!
I am also in the middle of teacher training at the moment which is not ideal to say the least! That can be incredibly stressful at times and I am dreading next term when I will be doing masters level research and in the final throes of wedding planning AT THE SAME TIME. Must just remember to breathe and remember doing the wedding this year was my idea in the first place...
All of the above is making me somewhat tired and a little over wrought at times so now feel like everyone is treating me like I am clinically depressed and patronising me with "Are you ok?" every two seconds meaning I feel the need to be overly perky to reassure them which in turn makes me even more tired and guilty for making them feel bad!
Good god I need to shut my brain up!!
Hows it going ladies???