Has anyone else struggled with a Mumzilla? Mine has come from nowhere and I feel like I can't breathe.
I love my mum, I really do, and I know she's excited and this is her only daughter's big day but the woman is driving me crazy.
We're getting married in December 2015. We have our venue, caterers and my dress. My parents are very kindly paying for 3/4 of our wedding and that includes the caterers, food, dress and accommodation. We are obviously incredibly grateful for the contribution as we wouldn't be able to afford anything without them.
I have however found that them paying is essentially them paying for an opinion. First is started with our tasting evening. My parents thought that one of them should go in place of one of us (as they're payign for the food). We pushed back and said no that's not going to happen. At the weekend my Mum (who was a bit tipsy) made a comment to my soon to be MIL that she and my Dad will be picking the menu. I heard this from the other room and was a bit taken back by it. Firstly, she hasn't communicated this to me, secondly, what then is the point of us going to a tasting evenign if we can't pick the food and thirdly, why do we not get a say?!
I haven't mentioned this to her but I am a bit worried about it. I haven't mentioned this to my fiance either because he will hit the roof if he finds out.
We're having a live band as well and Mum was going into one about how the band has to cater for everyone and it can't be all 'our generation' music and we need to weigh up the age groups of the people there. We obviously are well aware of this and are looking at bands to cater for everyone but she is going on and on and on. She's also banging on about evening guests and how they need to be made to feel welcome and we need to shut out rooms to make sure everyone is in the same place and it is imperative that evening guests aren't seen as second class citizens - again, we know this and will take this into account.
We are also paying for 10 rooms at the venue for guests and we agreed that the rooms will be offered to family and the wedding party. She's trying to dictate who will be staying in the rooms and saying how our friends (who were married and are now divorced but both are in the wedding party...awkward) won't be getting a room each as that's two rooms wasted blablablabla.
I'm finding the whole thing so exhausting....I laughed 3 or 4 times because she was just ranting on and on and on and she knows she's giong a bit crazy with it and she wants to know the logistics of everyting and how everything is going to tie together...and I can understand that....but I feel like I'm been talked at rather than consulted.
I have a close relationship with my mum but I'm worried that what should be an enjoyable experience with your mum is going to be turned into a bit of a war especially as it apepars that they feel as they're coughing up for most of the day that they have leverage.
I hate to sound ungrateful but it's not as if we asked them to help. We've always said we'll pay for everything but they offered the money and I did say they didn't have to but they insisted. We'll obviously consult them on our decisions but ultimately all decisions should be ours.
I'm going to the venue on Saturday to keep my mum happy (she said we need to go back really soon to have another look around) and I'm also taking my soon to be MIL. I don't know how to calm her down or approach the subject that decisions will all be ours.