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Father of the Groom Stress!

Hiii! Really hope someone can help me! I'm quite an out-spoken person and more than happy to tell people what I think but for some reason "Wedding Conversations" seem to be different. Anyway... FotG is very opinionated.. I am only having my sister as my bridesmaid as we are having a smallish wedding and I have quite a few girlfriends so didn't want to have to choose. When we told him this he went mental at me! Told me that it was disrespectful that I am not having my h2b's sister as well. I get on well with her but I don't really see/know her, so my opinion was that, if I'm not having my best friends, why would I have her?! Is this the right way to think!? I don't want to start arguements but I just want it to be OUR wedding. My h2b is happy with me just having my sister and agreed he never expected me to have his sister... is that all that matters?!

Posts

  • No, no no! WHY do people (particularly in laws) believe that THEIR daughters have a right to be YOUR bridesmaids? I told my man that if his mother carried on insisting that HER daughter be MY bridesmaid then I would tell her to her face that if she really wanted to be in the wedding party she can stick on a damned suit and be a best man!

    Bridesmaids are 100% the bride's choice! If I wanted to pick my mates over family then that's what I should do. If your FIL2B says anything again, tell him that if someone else gets to pick your bridesmaid then you will be assigning YOUR own choice for best man and see how he likes that. Better yet, get your hubby to be to tell his dad straight. It's not up to you to stand up to your man's parents, your man should.

     

    My MIL2B has gone as far as insisting that my sister should not be in the bridal party because MIL's daughter isn't. I explained that SIL2B didn't actually want to be in it and MIL said she knew that but because her daughter didn't want to be a BM then my sister shouldn't be one either. WTF?? lol

  • SofiaF82SofiaF82 Posts: 177

    aaaaaand breathe.......

  • My H2B has spoken to him but we're just worried now that if he wants to contribute any money to the wedding we will feel like it comes with strings attached i.e. he will tell us what is should be spent on. 

    H2B is pretty embarrassed about how his dad has been acting; we just want to move past it and continue with all the exciting times but it's definitely there, nagging us in the background! image

  • herstoryherstory Posts: 1,268

    Okay you both have to agree any contributions are no strings attached or the contributor gets their money back, me and my H2B agreed this, luckily we have been together so long everyone has more or less kept their noses out.

    As for bridesmaids, it is your choice and to be honest I bet your SIL2B would rather pick her own outfit for the day. 

    Your H2B needs to stand up to his dad, after all it is your wedding not theirs!

  • TadpoleTadpole Posts: 2,134 New bride

    Think this must be an old fashioned thing... but its totally not on!! And also from what I have seen on this site - more BMs, more trouble!! Stick to your guns xx

  • Okay, that's that then! Not taking it anymore! Hehe thanks everyone!

    I feel better now I know it's not just me that thinks that way!

    Think I might find a reading or something to SIL2B to read so she still feels apart of it, that sounds okay doesn't it!? 

  • herstoryherstory Posts: 1,268

    Reading or witness is a great alternative image

    I probably should tell my brother and SIL they have been volunteered to do a reading at our wedding, along with the grooms dad and the mums are going to be our witnesses, I think you can have up to 4 if anyone else needs 'including' image

  • PoppinsPoppins Posts: 3,146

    My in laws never said to me that they think their daughter should be a BM even tho SIL said it to me instead. Me being me said yes to her as I didn't want the hassle... I asked her 18 months ago and not once has she asked me about the wedding or shown any interest whatsoever and now I just wish I'd stuck with my two best friends and left it at that as I get so wound up about it! Stick to your guns on this, I wish I had! X 

  • HydrogirlHydrogirl Posts: 809

    i asked my SIL to b Bm to b nice and im an only child - biggest mistake! her and her mother picked the outfit - didnt really match my theme and wasnt the dress i wanted, then they told me i needed to change my colours to match. then they both decided how she was having her hair and makeup and shoe height etc - i got no say - anything i said i wanted got ignored and she basically just turned up on the day like a guest but she got extra attention as she was vm - it pissed me off everything somebody mentioned how lovely etc she looked

    therefore dont let him push u into it! as soon as one line is crossed thats the end of it!

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