This Time, Next Spring...
Katspups
Posts: 519
I thought it was about time I got around to writing my report - the follow up to my "A Wedding/ Wedding Anniversary" planning thread. I've had such a good time on here sharing and planning with everyone, it's sad to see it all come to a close! I have enjoyed seeing everyone else's pictures and reports...so here is mine. As we were legally married last spring, I think the title is fitting.
The "desperate" planning and preparation mode really began two evenings before (Monday and Tuesday night). I had so many little details to finish up, and only a few hours in the evenings to get to them. I still had to go to work (9 hour days) plus my two hours of commuting, plus making stops after work to pick up last minute bits and pieces.
I finished up decorating the ceramic jugs for the flowers on Monday night and was well pleased with how they turned out:
These got dropped off at the florist on Tuesday during my lunchbreak! I felt bad in not giving her a lot of time to plan for their use, but that was the earliest I could finish them and get them to her. The vases themselves arrived by post just days before. I had originally planned on having small, hand-tied bunches of flowers for all of the ladies, but no one in the group was interested in that idea. So this idea gave them something they could take home and enjoy.
I also put together the birdhouse favor boxes with the printed ribbon. The houses were actually easier to put together than I thought they would be, the only problem being only one of my two favors fit inside. The boxes looked so much larger online! So the lovebird candles ended up nesting nicely inside, and the clear heart boxes with the candies with our initials were simply placed on the tables.
I was overall very pleased with how they turned out, and they matched the peach & blush theme quite well!
I finally had found a chalkboard marker to label the little chalkboards on the crate I purchased for the groomsbox, so I marked those up with the groom's name and our date, and that was all ready to go.
I had to work the morning of, so I had to have everything packed up and ready to go, including my dress, shoes, accessories, and make-up. I would be getting ready at the dayspa after they completed my spa services. Here was our bathroom counter the night before:
I was so afraid that I had forgotten something. The venue is an hour from our home, and I was going straight from work to the spa, straight from the spa to the venue - no time for a trip home!
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I tried to sleep as best as I could, but like so many other ladies I'm so sure, my mind was spinning with the details. Again, I was worried because I knew all the other craziness in my life had definitely impacted my ability to do the planning. In particular, I was worried about the arrogant cake baker. We had only talked via email twice, and he had to practically be begged to do our cake! I had emailed him the cake designs I liked, all very simple cakes, two tiers, with lots of flowers on the top and on the tiers. He didn't touch base with the florist, who was a wonderful, sweet, and attentive lady...and there was nothing I could do to get the two to talk.
Here was the view in my closet the next morning
I have to say, I was pretty disappointed in J when he looked in the closet
I told him my dress was in there on Monday and not to look. The door of the closet doesn't shut properly, and he came in to chat while I showered. Next thing I hear as I'm washing my hair, "Oh, that's the dress, huh? It's pretty." So J had seen the dress a few days before - but he had not seen the whole look put together at least.
The morning was a rush of getting everything loaded into the vehicle. I had to dress for work, pack comfy spa clothes, and of course pack all of my clothes, accessories, and make-up for the evening. Working that morning was a mistake. I was so rushed, it would have been much nicer to have the whole day off to relax and be more organized. Not to mention, I wasn't focused at my job!
The weather the morning of was incredibly poor. It was cold, rainy, and everything was covered with a seriously heavy layer of fog.
We clearly would not have the option of utilizing the venue's beautiful patio. We hadn't planned on it anyway, because it was too early in the year for any of the beautiful flowers they have planted to be blooming anyway. This early in the year, the patio pretty much just looks like a plain stone patio with seating!
I ran from the parking lot to my office to avoid getting my hair wet. I had washed it the night before and set it in a tight bun, which usually gives me very nice curls (especially if I take the bun out at the last minute). I was definitely worried at this point that my hair might not turn out.
I finished up my work day as best as I could, as distracted as I have ever been...and then off to the spa!
Im so excited to see all your report katspups! And please don't go anywhere now you're married! I'm totally staying on here, its my favourite forum ever, i'd be so bored without it!
xx
Mrs2bWP, it's my favorite too! I don't want to go anywhere either!
I kind of wondered what to do about that. I've noticed that a lot of the ladies on different threads have addressed that situation, and a lot of them seem to get a bit "grumpy" (?) with those of us who are now married and need to "move on." I've chatted with so many nice ladies on here, I don't want to just leave...Plus I work in an all-male industry, so I literally never get any girl talk. Not at home either with J and his three sons, obviously.
So I thought I would write my report and poke around on here to offer advice, if there are brides looking for it...and hopefully the other ladies, like yourself, who I "met" and were planning at the same time as me & getting married around the same time, hopefully will stay in touch. I feel like I was quite lucky to "meet" such a lovely group of girls!
You should definitely hang around! Enjoying reading your report so far!
Thanks, ladies! I'm most definitely staying here to see all of my fellow brides get married this year - I would not miss it for the world!
Loving your planning thread katspups. I'm not going anywhere yet, need to see everyone having their big days, after all they've shared ours x
Exactly! I feel like we have a little wedding club! I love seeing everyone's planning threads and pictures and reports and whatnot! I would be so sad if i couldn't come on and see and share in the happiness! I've also been really helped by "already Mrs's" who've shared information and tips, i feel like we will be wedding veterans as opposed to annoying has-been brides! haha!
I feel so lucky to have "met" all you wonderful ladies too! My h2b was reeeally confused last Wednesday when i said "Aww, its my friend Katspups wedding today, i hope she's having a good time!" and he was so confused, he was like "What? Who? Did we send a card?.... Wait, who's Katspups!?...ohhhhh you mean on your internet wedding thing!"
xx
Loving your report Katspups! I think I'm going to be "lingering" on the wedding forum too! The reports are my absolute fave so I hope to read lots over the coming months (and write my own!)
I'm going nowhere so the BTBs can get as grumpy as they like lol
I have 'met' some lovely ladies on here and want to keep in touch too!
That's great, thanks girls. I would love for us all to stay in touch!!
I'm off of work sick today, so I'm not at my computer and don't have my pictures on my phone, so I will probably continue work on my report on Monday. My sister graduates with her PhD on Sunday, and my husband has a bunch of clients coming to house this weekend, so I probably won't have much time to post. (He runs his business out of our home. )
Incidentally, my email address is [email protected]. Feel free to stay in touch that way too, if so inclined. I'm not on Facebook, but maybe I should be (?)
I'm not on facebook either Katspups! I came off it last October, It was getting so annoying and i decided that as i was moving at Christmas it would show me who really was a friend and who i wanted to stay in touch with!
I'm totally going to email you! I LOVE a pen pal! Haha!
Oh no, hope you're feeling better soon! Its awful feeling under the weather!
xx
Well Mrs2bWP, I'm glad I'm not the only one. ..sometimes I feel like a cave woman when people are "shocked" that I don't have a page. I would love to stay in touch.
Just woke from a nap, feeling much better, thanks. I get migraines a few times a month, they really shut me down.
I had planned a mini-spa day many months ago for my sister and myself. Initially she had declined because of the cost (she graduated this month with a PhD, which here is an extremely costly venture when you don't come from a wealthy family). I offered to pay and booked us for a mani, pedi, and hour massage. Because we were coming from very different locations, she arrived first and had already checked in to the relaxation room upstairs. This was when we hit the first snag. I checked in and got robed and joined her, and she informed me that not only had she canceled some of her services, but she planned to leave early and get ready at her apartment, instead of getting ready at the spa together
I was so disappointed! Getting ready alone at my legal wedding was honestly one of the most lonely experiences and I had really wanted us to do this together. I also knew I needed her help with my hair and fastening some of the straps and hooks on my dresses. But she couldn't be persuaded otherwise (she is very stubborn). So once again, I would be in a dressing room alone. At least this time, it would not be for several hours like last time.
We did have a lovely time getting our toes done, and my massage was so relaxing. I have kind of boring, traditional tastes, I guess: I got both my nails and toes done with the white French tip, but it's my absolute favorite! The girls at the salon were so nice. After my sister left, business was slow, so a few of them sat and chatted with me while I got my nails painted. They were so sweet!
From the spa, it was on to the venue. I chose an Italian style restaurant that was centrally located for my family (my home is the furthest away, at just over an hour; everyone else was 5-25 minutes away). It has a reputation for the best food and the noodles taste homemade! It was nice because most places have banquet halls, but we were such a small group, that it would feel awkward in such a big space, and this particular restaurant had a small room we could use. It was also a good choice because they let us order off the menu, rather than making us choose from one or two items.
I arrived first and my parents, sister's family, grandparents, and friends started arriving shortly thereafter. I got a call from J that he was running late and that he had had a major problem in the wardrobe department. This was snag #2 for the day.
I don't know what I would do without all you veterans on here offering advice! PLease don't go anywhere, you make everything a lot less stressful, plus you have given me so many ideas
x
No problem, Mrs W2b2016! I enjoy being here and sharing when I think I can be of help.
Going back to my story, as far as advice goes, make sure your h2b tries everything on, possibly repeatedly!! Our big snag#2 could have been avoided if mine had done so, as I had asked him many, many times
We had put together 3 outfit possibilities for J, planning that the 2 he didn't wear could be worn to one of the several nice dinners we had planned for our minimoon. Two had light colored pants and tops with coordinating neckties, and one had black pants and a gray shirt with coordinating necktie. I asked J to pick from one of the 2 lighter colored outfits, because that matched me and our whole theme. He "didn't have time" to try everything on, until minutes before he needed to leave the house...only to find that one pair of the light pants was almost 4" too short and the other was missing the main button!!
Katspups, I'm so shocked that there are B2Bs getting 'grumpy' with married ladies on here - if it was JUST B2Bs, who would share their experiences with us?! V glad to hear people aren't moving on anytime soon.
Omg you must have been stressing so much when J hit his snag - boys are ridiculous!! I can imagine having the same convo with my OH and saying "I told you so" to him probably doesn't help at that moment haha. Looking forward to see how you sorted it.
That's also sad that your sister had to leave but at least you had some quality time with her and the ladies at the spa were nice - your feet and hands look lovely and pampered.
JulyBug, so glad you feel that way. I enjoy sharing, when I can add something to a conversation, and I honestly enjoy reading about other peoples' joy.
J told me all he could do was wear the outfit that we had bought that I had intended him to wear later on for the minimoon, despite the colors being completely off to the rest of the theme. I look at the pictures now, and his color of shirt and pants isn't what stands out to me, it's his refusal to wear his necktie
! He downright refused! And proceeded to tell everyone at the venue about how very foolish it was of me to think he would want to...arghh!
Menswear attire issues out of the way, J finally arrived, only about 10-15 minutes late and we proceeded to the room at our venue. The florist had been and gone, and she had done a lovely job. The flowers looked amazing in their little ceramic jugs!! I put the birdhouse favors and heart candy boxes out on the tables and we were ready to celebrate!
Here are my heart candy favors...this pic is from home because no one got a good one at the venue...but I thought they were so pretty. Guests literally argued over who got the extras, they loved the chocolate so much! They were so easy to put together, the chocolates came wrapped in dried ice (nice touch!), and they were so cute with our initials on them. Highly recommend!
I have lots of pics of our flowers because I was so chuffed to have them turn out so well!
I had never worked with this florist before, and did not honestly know anyone else that had either...but she was such a good listener, always returned my calls, and even made great suggestions on different substitutes for my over-priced choices and in cases where I could not think of what to use. She was lovely to work with.
The last big snag of the day was the cake. The arrogant baker who "kindly" agreed to do our cake was no where to be found. The room was decorated with the flowers, and the florist had left the flowers for the cake on the cake table - but there was no cake!
We were finished with drinks and appetizers...and still no cake! And not even a phone call. I was incredibly worried, considering the grief he had given me over doing our event to begin with.
We had been at the restaurant almost an hour, with the event person there already trying to reach the cake shoppe by phone. I finally tried calling the baker on my cell phone and a woman very curtly answered and cut me off mid-sentence. She rudely informed me that they had had a family emergency and would get the cake there as soon as they could. About 15 minutes later, the baker walked in the back door, tossed the cake on the table, literally stuffed the entire lot of flowers left by the florist into the top of the cake, and walked out without a word.
I realize we ordered a small cake, but I really had my heart set on having a lot of flowers on it. We kept the design of the cake quite simple, because I love flowers. We spent quite a bit on flowers, including those needed to decorate the cake.
This was a sample picture I provided to the baker for our cake design:
This is what he did:
It's not that it looked bad, I was just disappointed. He literally stuffed the entire vase of flowers the florist left him into the top of the cake without arranging them in the slightest, and none of them ended up on the "ledge" on the cake. He actually advised us to purchase a large (pricier) base cake in order to give him an adequate "ledge" to work with the flowers!
He didn't even take the 30 seconds to insert our cake topper.
I got up from our table and put the customized cake topper in the top tier of the cake, but there was nothing I could do about the unruly clump of flowers he had mashed into the top tier. It had to stay the way it was!
I know it's probably hard to see, but the lovebirds are holding a pink heart with our initials painted on it. A lovely crafter on Etsy made it for us in our colors. I thought it was so dear, and it matched all of our colors and the hessian accents on our vases of flowers nicely too.
While I am a flowers person, my mum is ALL about cake. I have to admit I was hoping to impress her with ours, but the "cake finale" fell a little flat!
The cake did taste good (at least he got the flavors correct!). We did a traditional yellow cake with raspberry and creme layers.
We also got some very sweet pictures by the cake:
My hair had gone completely flat by this time. Unless you have easy-to-work-with hair or are very talented at doing hair, I do not recommend doing it yourself! I washed mine the day before and wore it in a tight bun for over 20 hours and I still didn't have curls that held. My big mistake was having the massage before, because they got awfully close to my hair with the oils (I did ask her not to touch the hair), and then I did have to shower after (and even with a shower cap on, the steam I'm sure damaged the curls).
This was when we first arrived - I had a bit of wave, but really no curl. Oh well, it sure doesn't look like J cares, does it??
The meal went well, the food was absolutely amazing. Shortly before cake, I was SHOCKED as my dad stood up and made a speech! We had not planned on having speeches, so this was an incredible surprise. My dad had only been able to be present for a short bit at my legal wedding last year, so this gesture was so kind. When he finished speaking, I was even MORE shocked when J's mother asked to say a few words. She is NOT an overly sentimental person, and not overly close to her son, so I was beyond amazed and pleased and touched. There was barely a dry eye in the room!
My grandmum is on the left and J's mum is on the right. If you read my planning thread, you may remember that my grandmum had decided not to attend at the very last minute. Well my dad changed her mind! I was so very glad she came. She is in her mid-80s, and you never know how many more special occasions she may attend. She was unable to attend our legal wedding last year due to the revenue being over an hour away. So this was another pleasant surprise!
My sister and I had a (very small) row at the spa before she left, in that she refused to wear a dress. I had asked for her (and everyone else) to observe a "dressy" (not formal, but not casual) dress code for the day. She texted me later to say that she changed her mind and was going to wear one of the dresses we talked about after all. Well, she changed her mind again, and she and the rest of her family showed up dressed a bit casual...but I was happy they attended. I had no idea that she had her stepdaughter that night, and found out at the spa that she did. I begged them to bring her, and they did, which was nice. She comes from a bit of a disjointed background, so I thought it was great if we could involve her in a family function.
I sat next to my dear mum, who is literally an angel. She gave me the kindest compliment ever, saying she loved my dress even more than any other (and I have been married before). She & my dad have been having a tough time lately with various issues, which hit hard shortly before my day, which really changed the focus of life. I was quite glad that we were all able to have an incredibly happy evening, despite the earlier troubles.
She is by far the most amazing woman/ wife/ mother. Whenever I want to give up, I look at her example: she has survived through it all!
Loving reading about your day Kats I'm sure you could have bang J & your sisters heads together!!lol & as for the baker
but it all looks beautiful, well done & congratulations again
Kxx
That's so sweet that your dad and J's mum both made a speech! I think impromptu speeches like that from the heart are by far the best kind.
Thats really annoying about the baker - the cake does not look like what you asked for! At least the end result was still pretty even though its not what you discussed.
Aww you grandmum and mum look v proud in the photos! You dress is soo beautiful, perfect choice. Lastly - your flowers are STUNNING. That's exactly what I want, it's the perfect mix of beautiful and natural - nailed it! x
Thanks so much JulyBug, I did love the flowers (took way too many pics of them as I look through my package of photos, ha ha!)
Yes, Karen62, I was definitely ready to bang some heads together with those two. Isn't it amazing sometimes how much work you can put into something, and someone just can't go that little extra step for you?? In the end, I know it doesn't matter, but in the moment, it can be so frustrating !!
On Friday, I put together my thank you cards. I designed them online and put one of my favorite photos from the day on them (the one with us snuggling by the cake). Need to get them addresses and posted.
That is pretty much the sum of our day. We called it a night early in that this wasn't the kind of event with entertainment (just good conversation and food). I was so tired by the time I got home. I stuck my flowers in a basket on my bathroom counter where I keep my hair products, for lack of a better place to stand it upright.
Once we got back from our minimoon, I hung the boquet upside down in my closet clipped to a clothes hanger in an attempt to dry it. It turned out terrible!
I have since watched a dozen YouTube videos on how to properly dry and preserve your bouquet, but it is obviously too late for me now. If you have a real flower bouquet, I definitely recommend looking into this first if you plan to keep it.
I have since gathered up all of our cards and am keeping them in a basket until I can think of a more creative way to display them. I've seen a few good suggestions here on the forum.