When 2 became 1......

My life thus far....

Well ladies, this is my 3rd time at this marriage malarkey so here is a bit of background to start us off. I was married back in 1993 at the tender age of 20, after all, that’s what you do isn't it? We were childhood sweethearts but had a very up and down relationship and were often breaking up. I had many emotional issues which meant that I clung onto any kind of love possible so we just went with the flow. I realised at 25 that I had barely started my life before tying it down and I felt like I'd missed out on so much. I had a mad year before meeting my 2nd husband and stupidly not learning from the previous mistake, marrying him in 1999. Fast forward to 2005 and I realised I didn't really like the bloke. He was a highly opinionated bully although never towards me, but his attitude meant I didn't particularly want to spend the rest of my life with him. I settled down with someone from 2006 - 2011 and he was lovely, just too bloody soft with me and too quiet. I had never been alone and I was completely reliant on someone else all the time. This needed to change so for the first time ever, I lived on my own with my 2 boys.

Matthew & I, where it began....

In the background of the last 10 years has been Matthew. We met through our joint love for rugby league although we are at opposite ends of the supporting spectrum in that I’m a Hull FC Fan and he’s a Leeds Rhinos Fan...the 2005 Challenge Cup Final is a particular highlight in our friendship lol.  He was my best friend, and he lived over 90 miles away. He never settled down, I was often his sounding board when he was in a relationship along with a couple of his girlfriends who I also know as we mixed in the same rugby circles. One memory I always chuckle over is me having 2 MSN conversations open on my PC, one with Matt and one with his girlfriend, I was the piggy in the middle trying to sort the pair of them out! Back in 2005 he had feelings for me but never said anything so when he found out things weren't good in 2011 he saw it as a chance to make his move. I was completely shocked. I knew we were close but didn't know he felt that way about me and tbh I wasn’t sure I felt the same way in return. Anyway, we decided to meet up and the rest as they say is history because all of a sudden all these feelings erupted from somewhere and I realised that he was far more than my best friend.

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  Just Good Friends!!

 

Posts

  • Hullass1972Hullass1972 Posts: 600 New bride

    The relationship....

    Things haven't always been easy between us. For someone who knew Matt more than anyone else, I really did my best to right royally screw it up! I've always gone into relationships at 100 miles an hour whereas Matt is the complete opposite and is very cautious, probably why he never settled down with anyone. This all came to a head in February 2013 when Matt couldn't take anymore pushing from me for wedding bells (no, I really hadn't learnt my lesson) and for him to move across the M62 to Hull. He just walked away, gone in the blink of an eye and I just fell apart. He still maintained he loved me but couldn't do this anymore so it was over. I have never begged for anything so much in my life, it was quite embarrassing at times, yet he couldn't go back. I knew I had to make changes in my life as a lot Matt said to me I agreed with so I asked my employer if I could undergo a course of councelling. I had many issues from childhood to current day that it was about time I dealt with once and for all. This was the making of me. She gave me the courage to deal with alone time and to realise that alone time isn't the worst thing in the world as one thing I really struggled with was the Mon-Fri gap while Matt was in Oldham. For 6 weeks he changed his mind and then changed it back again. I was a puppet dangling on a string and people were starting to become worried about me so in the end I walked away. I couldn't do it anymore so we met at a neutral venue, swapped possessions (including Tilly, the beloved Jack Russell that Matt bought) and walked away on not only the romantic side of our relationship but also the friendship as there was no way I could go back to just being buddies.

    24 hours later, an email asking if I could come on Skype as he needed to talk to me, was to change the rest of my life................

  • Hullass1972Hullass1972 Posts: 600 New bride

    The following 2 years....

    So, I went on Skype and Matt said that he couldn't live without me, will I ever forgive him and could we try again. I of course agreed and we went from there. I was still undergoing my counselling but was changing all the time and I, for the first time ever, felt in control of my future. There were a lot of trust issues along the way, I was waiting for him to walk away for a long time and even on the morning of the wedding  didn't fully relax until I knew he was at the hotel, but we got there. April 2014 saw us both make the move away from our homes and settle half way in Castleford. We talked about marriage but I was always very cautious so in August 2014 when he dragged me up a hill at Austerlands Cricket Club and asked me to marry him with the rolling hills of Lancashire one way and my beloved Yorkshire the other, there was only one thing I could say......YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!

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     Engagement Selfie!!!

     

  • Now_MrsMNow_MrsM Posts: 395

    Congrats Mrs H, I was thinking of you Easter weekend hoping all was going well for you and I hoped you'd put a pic up at some point!

  • Hullass1972Hullass1972 Posts: 600 New bride

    Finally, the wedding....

    In 6 months the wedding was planned. We were to be married at Cedar Court Hotel at Ainley Top on Easter Saturday, 4th April 2015. This was also Matthew's 40th Birthday so I could guarantee he wouldn't forget our anniversary in coming years!!

    The colour scheme was easy. I wanted deep red roses as my bouquet so burgundy and cream it was! Everything else kind of fell into place, my MOH was amazing and a constant support when I was searching for ideas. She was always on ebay and Amazon looking for bargains and very soon I had favours (mini eggs in love bird boxes), table plan (multi frame with each table inside), table centre pieces (birdcages with jar candles and flowers around) and other bits and bobs. The room looked amazing and especially on the evening, the candles really set the romantic mood I was hoping for.

    The tables were all names after rugby grounds that meant something to Matt and I, with the top table being Hull FC's ultimate goal...Wembley!!!

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  • Hullass1972Hullass1972 Posts: 600 New bride
    Almost_MrsM wrote (see)

    Congrats Mrs H, I was thinking of you Easter weekend hoping all was going well for you and I hoped you'd put a pic up at some point!

    Thank you!!! Looking forward to getting everything down in here!!

  • Hullass1972Hullass1972 Posts: 600 New bride

    The dress....

    I had very specific ideas about my dress. I was going to be a 3rd time, 42 year old bride and really didn't want to look like mutton dressed as lamb. I still wanted to wear a wedding dress in the sense of the term, but decided on a 3/4 length style which as I'm short at just 5' 2" was going to hopefully make me look taller. I went to a wedding fayre at Cedar Court where I saw the stand of Elenor Rose Bridal from Huddersfield. The owner Lynette wasn't there as she'd been busy with an earlier cat walk but her mum was and she couldn't have been nicer. I explained what I was hoping to achieve and booked an appointment for 15th November with my MOH. I wanted to hedge my bets so also booked at Berketex in Leeds later that afternoon.

    The 15th November arrived and I was so excited yet nervous at the same time. I needn't have been nervous because Lynette made us feel so welcome and relaxed. We picked out a few dresses and I started trying on! The first one was a full length corset back which made me realise I'd made the right decision regarding the length. The second one was a 50s style tea length which was lovely but the kick and flare skirt did nothing for my ample figure which my MOH was very quick to let me know!! Then I discovered 'the one'. This was one that had caught my eye due to the length and sparkles. It was so pretty but there was just one small problem...it was a size 10!!!! As a size 18/20 this was going to take some serious imagination but thankfully we had that in spades. As soon as the curtain was pulled back my MOH was in tears so I knew it was the one...she never cries!!!

    Here she is............

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    Needless to say we cancelled the afternoon appointment and went round Leeds to get drunk instead hahahaha!!!! 

  • Karen62Karen62 Posts: 244

    Hullass, congratulations, loving your storyimage I'm still in the planning phase. Kxx 

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  • Hullass1972Hullass1972 Posts: 600 New bride

    Bridesmaid, Flower Girl and Men's Outfits....


    The bridesmaid dresses were the hardest thing to find as both were very different people. Lisa, my best friend, is my age and Sophie who is my eldest's girlfriend is just 19 so finding something that they were both comfortable in, in the shade of burgundy I wanted was rather fun!! Thankfully we got there and found these on the Coast website:

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    The littlies were much easier as I gave them the choice of 3 dresses from Monsoon. I wanted them to feel they had a say in what they wore and I was really lucky as they chose my favourite dress of them all!! 

    The men were the easiest of them all, wearing lovely black tails, stripy trousers with burgundy and cream waistcoats and burgundy cravats/pocket swatches hired from Carl Stuart in Huddersfield. The only difference between them was the button holes. Matt and his dad had red for Lancashire and my 2 boys had cream for Yorkshire image

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  • Hullass1972Hullass1972 Posts: 600 New bride

    Thank you!! Over the past few up and down years I have always looked at the boys and realised that if there's one thing I've done well, it's my children!! Kieran is 19 and absolutely stunning, he has the most natural smile and everyone envies him because he never looks awkward on photos unlike my very self conscious 14 year old George, bless him!! Both are so tall compared to me which isn't hard!! At 5' 8.5" tall, George is going to be huge!! The steps were a must for the photos lol.

    As a Hull FC fan (we play in black and white and our rivals from across the City play in red and white) choosing burgundy was met with a lot of raised eyebrows but it was a must. Deep red roses were the one non negotiable part of the wedding as they were the flowers of my grandparent's and parent's weddings and I adore them. If anyone dared to suggest I was having red they got the Karen look lol

     

  • susan28susan28 Posts: 268

    Just read your story Hullass, loving it!   I have two teenage daughters single if you want to do a bit of match makingimage xx

     

  • Hullass1972Hullass1972 Posts: 600 New bride

    Kieran is well and truly spoken for and George is gay so would be more interested if you had a son I think lol!! 

  • Hullass1972Hullass1972 Posts: 600 New bride

    The Day Before....

    It was decided that Matt would stay at home the night before and I would head over to the hotel late morning and make use of the rather nice suite we had ordered. It was Good Friday and Leeds were playing Castleford with a 12:45 kick off so Matt headed down to the ground and I made my way down the M62 to the hotel, boot absolutely groaning with everything I needed for the next day!! My MOH was waiting for me and as soon as we got the boot emptied and we were checked in, we decided to find a pub to watch the rugby in!! There was a cracking little pub just round the corner from the hotel which served real ale, amazing food and had the rugby on...what more could 2 hungry and thirty rugby fans wish for!! As the day wore on more guests joined us and we had a fabulous afternoon/evening, Matt really did miss out and I still feel quite guilty about that!!

    The Wedding Day!!!....

    The day dawned and the drizzle of the previous day had thankfully stopped, I had been worried! Sophie, my son's girlfriend, and I enjoyed a lovely buffet breakfast with my in laws before going up to the reception room to check how it looked. All the tables were set up and just before I left for the hairdressers, Gill our florist and family friend arrived, I couldn't wait to see the final look!! Lisa, Sophie and I went to the hairdressers and left everyone to the decorating of the room...we got the best side of the bargain!!

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  • abi25abi25 Posts: 2

    Hi Hulllass

    I wondered whether you filmed any of your wedding?

    I'm the Assistant Producer on a brand new wedding show for Channel 5 and would love if you could get in touch regarding potentially featuring in the series: [email protected] / 0203 761 4525

    All best wishes

    Abi

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