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Bridesmaid being difficult about dress

After several shopping trips I have a chosen a bm dress I like and I think will corordinate well with my dress. I only have two bms. One of my bms is a larger lady, I have tried to be accomodating about her size  and find a dress which fits well. last week I  told her I wanted to go with my chosen dress and didn't have time to keep looking around anymore. she has now found an alternative dress and sent me pictures, even though I told her my decision was made. I don't  hate the dress but I had already chosen mine and don't really have the time for the other bridesmaid to try the new one on! Help... I feel like she is being very out of order but also awful for putting her in a dress she doesn't feel comfortable in. i also don't think that dress she has chosen will fit the other bm well. I dont want mismatched dresses either. 


  • I've been bridesmaid at two weddings - my friend's and my sister's.  Never complained about the dress.  I wore it because that's what they wanted.  When I asked them to be my bridesmaids at my first wedding, they were strapless dresses, but my sister asked for straps on hers as she has quite a big bust, no problem I said....


    Can a compromise be reached?  Maybe it's a similar issue?

  • Hi the dress she wants is totally different fabric to the other dress. I am upset that she has gone behind my back and chosen another dress. Both dresses are of the peg/high street maxi dressss  and not sure they could be modified much. 

  • sooz84sooz84 Posts: 378

    I think maybe you'll have to speak to her face to face about it and try and find out why she doesn't like the original dress. If it's something to do with the fit then maybe try and compromise, however if it's just the colour/design she doesn't like then that's a little bit out of order.

    It's difficult because you have so many things to think about that something which wouldn't normally bother you seems like a huge problem. Good Luck 


  • Emma236Emma236 Posts: 215

    I think you need to find out exactly what part of the dress she has issues with - fit or style etc.  If it's the fit, I get that she might be uncomfortable and wanting to change it but if it's the style, she's not got a leg to stand on, especially as she's worn other bridesmaids dresses in the past that she hasn't liked - why should your wedding be the exception?

    I'm only having one bridesmaid and even then, I went ahead and bought her dress off the peg without telling her - she was living at other side of the world until last month.  Luckily, she loves the fit, colour and style.  Had she not, I was fully prepared to hit out with the bridezilla line of "tough, it's my day - I like the dress and colour and it co-ordinates beautifully with my dress so you're just going to have to wear it".  If the fit was horrendous, I would have changed it but thankfully it didn't come to that.

    You have enough stress to deal with without adding a petulant bridesmaid into the equation!

    I hope you manage to get it sorted.  x

  • I am concerned about her feelings but stressed because I am running out of time.  The two dresses are actually a very similar style, my chosen dress is perhaps a little more fitted. It is a simpler style which is exactly why I prefer it,

    I am going to try and look at the dress in store tonight and see what I think. 

  • I think you need to be stern and remind her that its YOUR wedding x

  • Thanks it is interesting the mixed responses. I feel like a total cow and the moment for making her wear a dress she isn't sure about. I didn't sleep at all last night. On the other hand there is an issue in that I have 7 days left to buy the dress and check it fits my other bridesmaid too...x

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