This seems to be a theme on here recently and so I'm going to carry it on!! This is looooong so sorry!
My Dad passed away 7 years ago and the only family I have is my Mum and her brother who lives in America and we don't hear from him one year to the next. I was (am) a daddy's girl and never really got on with my Mum but obviously with it only being us two I try and make the effort and see her every few weeks and do all her finances for her etc. She's quite hard work and very tight - one of those people that without fail walks into a coffee shop and screeches that a coffee is £1.70 for example. My dad left her quite a bit of money and she hasn't offered a single penny towards the wedding. This is fine by me and expected but it irritates my OH as his mum doesn't have two stones to rub together and keeps buying us little things for the wedding.
My issue is that she's just not interested in the wedding AT ALL. When we told her we were engaged after 10 years, her reaction was 'oh congrats. Did I tell you I'm going out tomorrow?'. Me trying to get a bit more of a reaction kept trying to show her the ring with zero success. The next time I went round I was busy telling her about the venues we'd seen etc and she said 'oh are you getting married?'. Er yeah, I haven't got engaged after ten years for nothing.
Wedding dress shopping. I offered to only take her once I'd found a dress as I imagined dragging her around shops would be tedious and as a kid I remember going shopping with my mum. What that actually meant was me go in the shops I wanted to and she'd sit outside and wait for me. She said she wanted to come so I booked three shops in one day and four of us including my MIL went shopping. My MIL and two BM were dead excited. By the time we got to the third shop, she had made 12 comments (yes I counted) about 'oh god not another shop' and 'I hope we don't have to go to more shops on another day'. Her face when BM told her she went to 12 shops was a picture. Apparently when I was getting dressed she was busy telling everyone she doesn't like weddings and doesn't see what all the fuss is about.
Even stupid stuff like I wanted to buy a crate to put blankets in. It was a tenner and she was like 'just pile them up'. I. Don't. Want. To. We're both on six figure salaries (I'm not rubbing that in, just demonstrating that I don't NEED to shop at poundland altho everyone loves a good bargain!) and so a) I really don't see the problem with spending a tenner and b) to me it's a celebration of the ten years together and not just one day. It's probably the one day of our lives we can show everyone how much they mean to us. I think I value OH family and our friends more since my Dad. I'm not going all out and just looking to spend the average amount though with a very very nice honeymoon as that's where we like to spend our money. In a supermarket the other day, I saw the flowers I wanted so grabbed a bunch and was showing the OH what three bunches look like together etc. It was one minute convo max and she said 'you're not still talking about that wedding are you?'.
Her own wedding was very small with 13 guests and I don't remember her ever going to a wedding whilst ive been alive which may be the problem.
Please help me before I kill her! I've got 15 months of this left! As much as I've ranted I can't bear the thought of hurting her so really don't want to end up snapping and saying something I regret (even if I mean it!). It all makes me just miss my Dad even more too cos altho he wouldn't really have got into the planning, he'd have listened to my ramblings and seen how happy I was. It's hard enough trying to figure out how to get from one venue to another with no male figure in your life and a best friend