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Social Anxiety

I just posted on another thread but thought I would like to hear from people who are currently or have recently been married. 

I worry alot about how many people we have coming to our wedding, both me and my other half have relatively small families, I have a small group of friends and he doesn't have many friends so our guest list is quite small. This isn't a problem but I worry about how it looks to others (as much as I know I shouldn't). I have a friend getting married at the end of January who I know has a massive guest list and I just worry about being compared, and others thinking that our wedding is boring or a wash out. 

Evening guests I'm struggling to come up with names other than work colleagues. I know the most important bit is about me and him and us enjoying our day which I know we will, but it just brings up a load of anxiety for me too. Our venue isn't huge so hopefully will be ok with small numbers, but do kind of wish we had gone abroad to do it. 

Any words of wisdom would be appreciated! I know the things I have to tell myself, just would be great to hear from others too. 


  • I always feel myself spin out the most when I start thinking too much about what people will say behind my back about my choices for my wedding day, so I sympathise with the anxiety it's horrid. But we have to make choices based on what will truly make us happy, rather than making choices out of fear of the judgement of others. People who like to say nasty things will always find something nasty to say, so you may as well work towards your happiness and just leave them to their own devices!

    Try to clear your head and just focus on you, your other half and the kind of day that will make you truly happy. The family and friends who know you best will just be happy that you're happy :-) 

    I know you said you wanted to hear from people who are already married, I get married this September, but the topic of social anxiety strikes a chord with me so I wanted to send you my support!

  • Rin NightRin Night Posts: 167 New bride
    Scarlet89 wrote (see post):

    I know you said you wanted to hear from people who are already married, I get married this September, but the topic of social anxiety strikes a chord with me so I wanted to send you my support!

    I'm the same as Scarlet, I'm not actually getting married till next year! But social anxiety is something I have struggled with also! As the lovely ladies have said already, don't worry about what other people think (easier said than done, I know!), but this is your day and the most important thing is that you and FI are as comfortable as possible!

    I personally much prefer small weddings to big ones, I feel that with small you're only inviting the people who really matter to you, makes it more intimate and special. For me at least, the bigger the guest list, the more it feels like it's just a (very expensive) excuse for people to party, rather than a celebration of your love for each other which it should be! (Pass the bucket, I know! )

    Do whatever you need to do to make you comfortable and happy! x

    Remember, when stressed, simply channel your inner Bridechilla: Take a sand bath, munch some veggies, then chew on a wooden stick... wait... no... that's a Chinchilla... 

    My planning thread
  • MrsMxMrsMx Posts: 24

    i had really bad social anxiety at my wedding as well.  But i just invited the people that were important.  I kept looking at my guest list and each and everyone i wanted there.  I didn't invite people unnecessarily and i knew each and everyone of my guests which made me feel more comfortable as i knew that they were there for me and not just another number.  Do what ever makes you more confident and happy on the day, it's your day

  • Thank you all for your replies, whether or not you’re married yet or not I really appreciate it! Just helps to know I’m not the only one, I want to enjoy everything and not let the anxiety of it all get in the way! 

    Definitey think sometimes if you think about it all too much it spins out of control, so I’ll try and stay grounded and just think about us and the important part of the day, i.e. Us being married! 

  • I would also suggest don't spend too much time reading this forum! Its so easy to get sucked in and start unintentionally comparing your wedding to other ones detailed on here. Have a read and take ideas/inspiration but don't start doubting yourself because of what other people are choosing to do! 

  • I have really bad social anxiety which is why a big traditional wedding was completely a no go for me. At first I did buckle to pressure and begin to plan it that way but then realised it was all wrong and cancelled all those plans. 

    I am now having a small ceremony this year with 9 guests and a meal afterwards. We are having a slightly bigger wedding later down the line in Las Vegas with 20 guests, but the early one is for my grandparents as one of them is ill. 

    Just remember: a wedding is not about the number on your guest list. 

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