Daughter doesm't want Dtep Dad there

My daughter called last night to telll me she doesn't wamt my new husband there (her father is deceaded). I am very hurt and disappointed. The wedding is in two months and we have all ready made all travel arrangements. I do not know the groom's family. How would this look to everyone if he's NOT there? And, I need his support. I know its her day but .....Any advise & support would be appreciated. 


  • What reason has she given? While I'd usually say you should never invite someone to the wedding if you don't want them there, this is different.

    I've met my dad's partner twice and my mum's said she'll find it difficult being there if she is, but there's no way I couldn't invite her? And only 2 months to go is very short notice to uninvite someone??? I assume she'd addressed the invite to both of you?

  • We were visiting recently & he offended her by making a comment how expensive it will be for us to stay in the venue hotel. I should add, we are not paying for the weddng, just our trip there.

  • SadieeeSadieee Posts: 1,781 New bride

    I would get your husband to apologise and see if it helps. Whilst it may be expensive for you it's not something a bride wants to hear from her mum's husband. My future FIL made a recent comment about prices, I held my tongue but was tempted to say don't come then 

  • I'm sure an apology from him will sort the situation out! I would be miffed if I was her too (I think us brides can get quite touchy haha), but I'm sure she will see sense if your husband says sorry.

    If not and she is adamant she doesn't want him there, then I think you will just have to respect her wishes and try and sort the situation out after the wedding I'm afraid. I understand it won't be easy for you, but it's her day and she will be relying on your support x

  • If that's really all it is, I would be tempted to tell her to get over herself!  He is entitled to an opinion surely, and weddings can be horribly expensive for the guests too.  Yes, he should have said it differently (or not at all!), but she seems to be overreacting more than a little.

    You know the personalities involved - I would either just get him to apologise to appease her, or tell her to stop being so ridiculous.... whichever is likely to cause the least fuss x

  • I agree with Ali. Making an opinion about the costs is hardly worth an un-invite, to someone as important to her mother as her husband.  Her day or not, uninviting someone last minute for a petty comment is ridiculous, especially when you've already made/ paid for travel arrangements.  She does need to get over herself.  Unless something else (bad) has transpired, I don't see why the both of you shouldn't attend.

  • Thanks, everyone. My advice to any brides here is that this is a very emotional time for you. You may have high expectations and be overly sensitive to what people say/don't say or do/don't do. Before you react, step back. Take a deep breath. How important is it, really? Is it worth damaging your relationships? Or can you let it go? Remember you are loved and we are happy for you.

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