Too early to buy my dream dress?? Help wanted!

I'm new to the forum and looking for some help from all you other bride2be's and any recent brides who have just been through their big days.

My fiance, Aaron, and I have been engaged for just over two years but are only beginning to plan our wedding now. We are looking to get married in 2021, either in May, June or September. We are hoping to decide and book a date in the next couple of months after visiting a few more reception venues before making our final decision.

Since July last year I've loved looking through all the different wedding dress designers and their collections, and not long after I started looking I came across the most beautiful and breath-taking (in my opinion) Demetrios Platinum 2018 dress called 'Augusta', which since then I've always thought would be "the one". Not long after this in October 2017, I saw it for the first time in real life at the Scottish Wedding Show on their catwalk. And this only made me love it more.

As we haven't set a date yet, I didn't plan on going dress shopping til some time next year. But I've still been keeping up to date and enjoying looking online at all the beautiful dresses, until recently when the bridal shop in Glasgow, who stock the Demetrios dress, posted on their Instagram recently again about the dress. This then kicking me into action, and making me worry as it was a 2018 collection dress, that it wouldn't be available to buy much longer. So I decided to contact the store and book an appointment to try it as I think I would be heartbroken if they pulled the collection and I hadn't even had the chance to try it. So we are now a couple of weeks after my first ever bridal appointment and the dress did not disappoint me when I tried it on anyway! It was perfect! It had the beautiful cathedral train, the illusion neckline, the lace, the 3D floral appliques and the detailed back. So it was everything and more that I'd always pictured and dreamed of. But now my dilemma is that as the store had their sample 'Augusta' dress on sale I could buy it at a discounted price now or wait until next year and hope that I can still get them to order a brand new dress straight from the designer but pay full price (if they haven't pulled the dress). Or the other option is that I wait til closer to the date and look then, but I feel like nothing has even come close to that dress in my eyes, either trying other dresses in the same shop on that day or looking again afterwards online. I've got another appointment to try on dresses at another couple of shops this Saturday, just to help me try and make a final decision before it's too late and I regret it.

Any opinions or advice on what you did or think I should do would be great, and would help me hugely in my decision.

Thank you

This is the 'Augusta' dress below -

Posts

  • If you are really set on the dress I would ask the bridal store to contact the designer or contact the designer yourself and enquire as to when can order the dress until/if no date contact you to let you know if they receive notice it’s being discontinued. When I tried my dress they told me that the designer planned on discontinuing that design in October so I knew the latest I could order (although I loved the bloody thing so much no way was I waiting until then). It goes without saying but if you do order now stop looking immedirately - no Pinterest/Instagram/bridal shop Facebook pages that way no danger you will be tempted by anything else 😀

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,513 New bride

    I 'just went to look' at a Maggie Sottero sample sale and came out with a dress I'd had my eye on for ages at a price that was too good to say no to. I only tried 4 dresses on and didn't go to any other shops and I'm still totally happy with my decision.

    If you are totally sure it's the one for you and will suit your venue and season then go for it. 

  • Lauren08Lauren08 Posts: 13
    MissFelipe wrote (see post):

    If you are really set on the dress I would ask the bridal store to contact the designer or contact the designer yourself and enquire as to when can order the dress until/if no date contact you to let you know if they receive notice it’s being discontinued. When I tried my dress they told me that the designer planned on discontinuing that design in October so I knew the latest I could order (although I loved the bloody thing so much no way was I waiting until then). It goes without saying but if you do order now stop looking immedirately - no Pinterest/Instagram/bridal shop Facebook pages that way no danger you will be tempted by anything else 😀

    That's a great idea! I had asked the store if they could let me know if they heard anything about the collection being pulled, but they said they normally don't get any warning, just an email on the day to say which dresses are no more. So I'll definitely try getting in touch with the designers directly and seeing if they can give me a guide as that would certainly put my mind at rest more. That was good that you knew when you could've ordered to at least! That's how I feel, I feel like I don't want to wait and risk it, I think I'd definitely be heartbroken because whenever I picture the day, that what I picture myself wearing! Yeah, that would be the best thing to do as you say, although I don't think anything would catch my eye more than this dress. Thank you so much for your help

  • Lauren08Lauren08 Posts: 13
    MrsCToBee wrote (see post):

    I 'just went to look' at a Maggie Sottero sample sale and came out with a dress I'd had my eye on for ages at a price that was too good to say no to. I only tried 4 dresses on and didn't go to any other shops and I'm still totally happy with my decision.

    If you are totally sure it's the one for you and will suit your venue and season then go for it. 

    It's so easy to do! It's so fun as well trying on dresses, although I was so nervous before going to the appointment but I came out and I loved it! That's great! It sounds like you knew for sure it was your dress.

    I think I need to try on more dresses this weekend just to know in my own head that there are no other styles that I like better, but I just don't see it happening at all! I just dream of that dress

  • bella2015bella2015 Posts: 1,903 New bride

    I'm probably in the minority but I think  you should wait,  3 years is a long way away and styles change so often. I bought my first dress too early and ended up buying something else in the end. You'll find lots of threads on here from brides who regret buying too early.

    As you've not set a wedding date yet I think you're best waiting but that's my opinion. 

  • Lauren08Lauren08 Posts: 13
    bella2015 wrote (see post):

    I'm probably in the minority but I think  you should wait,  3 years is a long way away and styles change so often. I bought my first dress too early and ended up buying something else in the end. You'll find lots of threads on here from brides who regret buying too early.

    As you've not set a wedding date yet I think you're best waiting but that's my opinion. 

    Yeah, I do totally understand what you’re saying and it is a few years away, that’s true. The styles do change so often, I just feel like nothing will top this for me 😩 like everything about the dress I love and I don’t know what else a designer could do to make me change my mind! You never know though, as you say. Yeah, I’ve been having a good read through so many threads today and I feel like reading other people‘s experiences do really help! So I’m so glad I’ve signed up! So much on the forum to help! I definetly appreciate your advice, so thank you 😊 

  • Way too early. I don't know the percentage, but an alarming number of brides have serious dress wobbles (and not just on this forum). A lot of them seem to stick with the dress they already bought, despite being unhappy, because they can't afford to buy a second dress. There are others that post the dress for sale (on this site and others) hoping to recover even a small percentage of what they spent on the wrong dress. 

    Styles change. The dress you buy now may look completely different to what's trending three years from now.

    Tastes change. After you've seen dozens of new collections at fayres, in magazines, and online, I would find it almost impossible to believe that you wouldn't find another dress you like as much or more.

    You could gain a lot of weight or lose a lot of weight or get pregnant. Any of these things happen will change the dress you feel comfortable wearing.

    Your budget could drastically change. Suddenly a dress that was on budget may be way out of proportion to the rest of your budget, causing you to have to cut out other things you really wanted.

    Your venue could undergo a drastic re-decoration. It could burn down. (Yes, there are brides on this forum currently active that have had these things happen.)  You may have to relocate for work or some other reason and your original venue may not end up being the final one. Your new venue could be dramatically different and not suit the dress. 

    Your families could drive you to the point of wanting to elope and you may not want to wear this same dress for an elopement in Vegas. Or on a beach.

    There are dozens of reasons to wait. There is no rush. And the design of that dress isn't one that's so incredibly unique that you will never find something like it in two years.

  • I also think it's way to early, have you booked your venue yet, chosen your theme? Also between now and then at least 3 more collections will be released. Tastes change so quickly, whose to say you will still love it in 3 years. There is also a risk that a year out that you may start yearning for the dress shopping experience as it will be closer to the day and the hype will be building. 

    Designers don't pull whole collections, just those that don't sell well, most collections will run for 2 or 3 years and best sellers can go on for much longer. 

    I would wait if it was me, but you know yourself and should trust your gut.

  • I also think way too early....I bought mine a year ahead as I fell in love with mine. I still love it and still want to wear it but when I went into the shop for a fitting a month ago I saw a stunning dress by the same designer on a mannequin and was a little disheartened. I've had to forcefully forget about this dress, I haven't even looked it up online and have finally come to a point where I can't even remember the details of this dress, just that it's lovely. I also keep having to look at photos of my dress to remind myself why I fell in love with it! 

    Now I'm just hoping I still fit in my dress come wedding day as I'll be 8 weeks pregnant come the date and I'm currently eating a lot to stop the persistent nausea 🤦🏼‍♀️

  • MrsB2020MrsB2020 Posts: 45 New bride

    I think you should consider what you’ll regret more - not having this dress OR having to buy a second dress because you don’t like this one any more/find something better/etc?

  • Lauren08Lauren08 Posts: 13
    KittyFiennes wrote (see post):

    Way too early. I don't know the percentage, but an alarming number of brides have serious dress wobbles (and not just on this forum). A lot of them seem to stick with the dress they already bought, despite being unhappy, because they can't afford to buy a second dress. There are others that post the dress for sale (on this site and others) hoping to recover even a small percentage of what they spent on the wrong dress. 

    Styles change. The dress you buy now may look completely different to what's trending three years from now.

    Tastes change. After you've seen dozens of new collections at fayres, in magazines, and online, I would find it almost impossible to believe that you wouldn't find another dress you like as much or more.

    You could gain a lot of weight or lose a lot of weight or get pregnant. Any of these things happen will change the dress you feel comfortable wearing.

    Your budget could drastically change. Suddenly a dress that was on budget may be way out of proportion to the rest of your budget, causing you to have to cut out other things you really wanted.

    Your venue could undergo a drastic re-decoration. It could burn down. (Yes, there are brides on this forum currently active that have had these things happen.)  You may have to relocate for work or some other reason and your original venue may not end up being the final one. Your new venue could be dramatically different and not suit the dress. 

    Your families could drive you to the point of wanting to elope and you may not want to wear this same dress for an elopement in Vegas. Or on a beach.

    There are dozens of reasons to wait. There is no rush. And the design of that dress isn't one that's so incredibly unique that you will never find something like it in two years.

    Yeah, I have seen that on here that a lot of people do have major wobbles. Everything you've said is great advice! And can be true for a lot of brides, and some things may change with me too. I just feel like I would be heartbroken if I knew I couldn't get that dress. I've loved it for over a year now, and I can't see that changing at all. I feel like I have been looking and looking online, more just because I enjoy looking at the beautiful dresses, but nothing grabs me like that does at all. Well one thing is for sure, it's going to be a hard decision! But thank you for all your help

  • Lauren08Lauren08 Posts: 13
    Victoria197 wrote (see post):

    I also think it's way to early, have you booked your venue yet, chosen your theme? Also between now and then at least 3 more collections will be released. Tastes change so quickly, whose to say you will still love it in 3 years. There is also a risk that a year out that you may start yearning for the dress shopping experience as it will be closer to the day and the hype will be building. 

    Designers don't pull whole collections, just those that don't sell well, most collections will run for 2 or 3 years and best sellers can go on for much longer. 

    I would wait if it was me, but you know yourself and should trust your gut.

    We haven't booked our venue, still got a couple more to see but we do have a clear favourite and front runner, and I think we will be most likely booking that. But apart from that, I do have a really clear image in my head on how I want the day to look, and have a pretty clear idea of all the other elements and what we want to book. That is true, closer to the time I might wish I could go shopping again, although I am planning to get a second dress I think if I do choose to go for this one above. The reason for that is that although I adore the first dress, I would wear it during the day for the ceremony and the reception til the first dance, as it is a very classic and romantic style and for the night time reception I would love to have a second look, with a dress that's more glam and fun. There is also the factor in the Demetrios dress of the train, although I could have it bustled up, I think it's even too long to do that with and still be practical. So I would be needing to go shopping for a second dress anyway, and I would leave that until closer to the time. Meaning I can still look forward to that. I'm glad though to hear from you that most collections run for 2 or 3 years, that would be a he relief if they did! Thank you so much

  • Lauren08Lauren08 Posts: 13
    August2018Bride wrote (see post):

    I also think way too early....I bought mine a year ahead as I fell in love with mine. I still love it and still want to wear it but when I went into the shop for a fitting a month ago I saw a stunning dress by the same designer on a mannequin and was a little disheartened. I've had to forcefully forget about this dress, I haven't even looked it up online and have finally come to a point where I can't even remember the details of this dress, just that it's lovely. I also keep having to look at photos of my dress to remind myself why I fell in love with it! 

    Now I'm just hoping I still fit in my dress come wedding day as I'll be 8 weeks pregnant come the date and I'm currently eating a lot to stop the persistent nausea 🤦🏼‍♀️

    Aw did you? I think when you know it's your dress you just get that feeling in your gut! That must have been so hard, especially when you've already got one that you love so much and then see another amazing dress. Yeah, that's exactly what you need to do! You fell in love with your dress for a reason, and you just need to be reminded of that as you say. But thank you for all your advice! Aww, that's amazing! Congratulations!! You must be so excited, that'll make the day even more special for you

  • Lauren08Lauren08 Posts: 13
    MrsB2020 wrote (see post):

    I think you should consider what you’ll regret more - not having this dress OR having to buy a second dress because you don’t like this one any more/find something better/etc?

    Yeah, I definitely think I would regret not getting this dress more if I didn't have the chance to order it anymore. I think I would be a bit devastated, as every time I picture the wedding day I picture myself in that dress. I was also thinking of buying a second dress anyway as I was wanting a second look for after the first dance at the reception. A dress that's a bit more glitz and glam, ideally a sparkly dress like the Lazaro or Berta ones, but just not at that budget. So I feel like I won't miss out if I buy the dress above now, as I would be going shopping for a second dress anyway. Well that's the ideal situation anyway, if it happens, we will see. Thank you for your advice though, it is a question I do need to really consider  

  • I'm in the minority here but I think you should BUY THE SAMPLE!!!

    If you love it that much it's clearly a very special dress to you. The absolute worst that can happen is that you fall out of love with it and have to buy a new one, whereas the other way around you risk never finding one that lives up to it. I've always known the sort of dress I wanted and ended up getting exactly that, never wanted any different and never will - maybe you are the same too! 

    I hope this hasn't confused you more and totally appreciate what the other ladies are saying, but it sounds like you know in your heart of hearts what you want to do. You only live once! 

    Good luck whatever you do xx

  • Lauren08Lauren08 Posts: 13
    Annabelle4 wrote (see post):

    I'm in the minority here but I think you should BUY THE SAMPLE!!!

    If you love it that much it's clearly a very special dress to you. The absolute worst that can happen is that you fall out of love with it and have to buy a new one, whereas the other way around you risk never finding one that lives up to it. I've always known the sort of dress I wanted and ended up getting exactly that, never wanted any different and never will - maybe you are the same too! 

    I hope this hasn't confused you more and totally appreciate what the other ladies are saying, but it sounds like you know in your heart of hearts what you want to do. You only live once! 

    Good luck whatever you do xx

    Aw yaay!! I'm happy for the different point of view and that someone thinks I should buy the sample. The sample is discounted by nearly £1000 from a brand new one from the designer. Although, if the sample dress were to sell before I decided I would still be happy to buy a brand new one cause I feel like the dress is worth it for me. But of course buying the sample dress would be a huge saving! It is a very special dress to me, and when I tried it on it didn't disappoint me in anyway, it was still perfect. It's everything I was looking for in a dress, and when I saw it I just loved it straight away. I can't see what any other designer could do to make a dress that's any better than this one. The dress has everything I love, it's got the long train which I think is absolutely stunning, it's got the illusion neckline, and the low back that has the beautiful detail and it's got the fullness that just makes it such a showstopper. Yeah, I feel to me the risk of not ever finding a dress that I think in anyway compares to this dress is worse than me thinking I will find another dress that I will love more. Have you? It's good to hear that you've always known what you've wanted to and you've never wanted or needed any different to it. That is so true, I feel like I do know in my heart what I want most, and I feel more and more like it's that dress! Thank you so much, I honestly appreciate your help so much! Good luck to you as well

  • Id buy the dress. 

    so you might get closer and decide you want something different, but youll be able to sell it, theres so many places and hundreds of brides do just that. 

    I bought my dress almost 2 months ago, and i have 20 months left! Will i find in a year i want to look around? Maybe. So what? 

    Lifes too short, and honestly i think youll regret it more if you dont. its not like its a permanent decision. 

    Youre allowed to love it now and want it, and youre also allowed to change your mind in X amount of months, and neither of those things is a bad thing at all! 

  • Lauren08Lauren08 Posts: 13
    CoffeeDogAddict wrote (see post):

    Id buy the dress. 

    so you might get closer and decide you want something different, but youll be able to sell it, theres so many places and hundreds of brides do just that. 

    I bought my dress almost 2 months ago, and i have 20 months left! Will i find in a year i want to look around? Maybe. So what? 

    Lifes too short, and honestly i think youll regret it more if you dont. its not like its a permanent decision. 

    Youre allowed to love it now and want it, and youre also allowed to change your mind in X amount of months, and neither of those things is a bad thing at all! 

    Yaayy! Do you think? That's very true. I don't see me falling out of love with the dress in a couple of years, and even if styles change that sort of thing doesn't bother me if my dress doesn't fit in with the style then. I just love it so much! And even if I did, as you say I have options available if for any reason I didn't want it anymore. Did you? That's amazing! What is your dress like? Even if you do, looking at dresses is fun and even if you were to look and try more on, you can still go with the dress you have bought now and just enjoy the experience again. I do think I would regret it so much if I didn't get it now and then couldn't at all then. And as I said somewhere above, I am planning to get a second dress anyway, so it means I'll get the experience again closer to the time of shopping again. Yeah, definitely! And I love it so much! It's perfect and everything I could want and have dreamt of. So I think I will use the two other appointments I have booked tomorrow to help solidify my decision. But thank you so much for you help, it's definitely helped me a lot  

  • Amy528Amy528 Posts: 2

    I think you should go for it!!! 

    The only thing is the venue and theme might play a part in what dress you choose... 

    i agree with one reply on here that if you do buy it then don’t look again ie Pinterest Instagram etc as you will start having doubts if you see something else and you’ve already paid for that dress or an amount toward it. But if you get that feeling in that dress then you will struggle to top it :) x

  • Beatrice25Beatrice25 Posts: 135 New bride

    Have you decided whether you're buying the dress yet?

    I think you should! I was in a similar situation, I get married June 2019 and brought my dress in January 2017. I only went for a look at a sample sale and the next thing I'm walking out with my dream dress!

    I did go dress shopping twice afterwards and tried on the dresses I thought I wanted and nothing compared in the slightest! I still love my dress now and get so excited when I see a peak of it, I would say if you are buying it though avoid 'shopping' for a dress on social media etc. else you'll put doubts in your head.

    I also don't think you'll have to worry about the dress going out of fashion. 2 years isn't much and the dresses I liked 3 years ago when planning are still around now. 

    Good luck :) xx

  • Lauren08Lauren08 Posts: 13
    Amy528 wrote (see post):

    I think you should go for it!!! 

    The only thing is the venue and theme might play a part in what dress you choose... 

    i agree with one reply on here that if you do buy it then don’t look again ie Pinterest Instagram etc as you will start having doubts if you see something else and you’ve already paid for that dress or an amount toward it. But if you get that feeling in that dress then you will struggle to top it :) x

    Do you think? Well I think the dress could suit any venue. We are pretty much set on a venue, still got a couple more to see but it would be hard to beat the one we like best and we want a church ceremony somewhere, so as far as they go and theme of the venue I'm not concerned. Yeah, if I do go for it I think I'd stop looking online and on social media etc. I do enjoy it, and if I do go for it, I don't think anything would sway me away from it, but would stop looking just in case. I definitely need to try it on again. Was at a couple of other shops on Saturday just passed and found two other lovely dresses, but in my head I just keep thinking about the other dress and comparing them to it. I think I feel like these other dresses aren't as special and exactly what I'm looking for. As you say, I think I'm struggling to top it! Thank you very much for your help and advice

  • Lauren08Lauren08 Posts: 13
    Beatrice25 wrote (see post):

    Have you decided whether you're buying the dress yet?

    I think you should! I was in a similar situation, I get married June 2019 and brought my dress in January 2017. I only went for a look at a sample sale and the next thing I'm walking out with my dream dress!

    I did go dress shopping twice afterwards and tried on the dresses I thought I wanted and nothing compared in the slightest! I still love my dress now and get so excited when I see a peak of it, I would say if you are buying it though avoid 'shopping' for a dress on social media etc. else you'll put doubts in your head.

    I also don't think you'll have to worry about the dress going out of fashion. 2 years isn't much and the dresses I liked 3 years ago when planning are still around now. 

    Good luck :) xx

    I've still not decided yet. I had a couple of other bridal appointments there on Saturday just passed and tried on lots of different styles, which is what I wanted to do to have the chance to compare styles and see if the dream dress is the style I loved best for myself. So I did find that useful as I ruled out different silhouettes and dress shapes/styles that just didn't suit me. I did come across two dresses completely different to the dream dress and what I pictured that I would like and they were beautiful, but I just kept comparing the dresses to the one I love and I feel like they were just not living up to that or surpassing it. So I definitely need to go back and try on the dream dress again, as I just need to have the chance to see it again now that I've tried other styles to know for sure. Did you? That's actually great to know that you got it about the same distance before that I would be buying mine, and that you still love yours! What style did you go for? Sometimes you just know it's the dress for you! That's fab that you're still so excited to see it, that's how I want to be and think I will be like you in that way too. Yeah, that's exactly what I thought too! Dresses don't really change that much, and I wouldn't expect the style I like to either. Thank you so much for your help, it's good to know you were in the same situation and it's all worked out for you  

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