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The 'Subtly Us' wedding- September 2018 Report



  • Love the jumpsuit! It's stunning! 

  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride

    Ha I bet R loved you when you found the wedding rings in your car, after insisting they were in the Kitchen! Look forward to reading more.


  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride
    MrsS85 wrote (see post):

    Ha I bet R loved you when you found the wedding rings in your car, after insisting they were in the Kitchen! Look forward to reading more.


    Yeah he wasn't impressed, even less so when I was so laid back about it all.

    I drove 2 hours or so to my parents, just before I got there I called (handsfree of course) to say I was only 10 mins away, can you put the kettle on please. My mum then told me that my dad's car had a problem with the ignition and wouldn't start. They had it taken to the garage and it hadn't yet been fixed. My parents HAD to go in my Dad's car as my Mum's car is tiny and they were meant to be bringing back my Aunty, Step grandad and Gran (all Mum's side)...MILD PANIC

    I left them to look at hire car options while I went to collect my dress from my Gran and tell her and my Aunty visiting from Australia for the wedding about the car drama. Then went to visit my Grandma (I've said on my planning thread that she was poorly and wouldn't make the wedding, but I wanted to go and have a chat and let her know about the excitement and nerves, knowing she would be so happy for us). 

    An hour later I got back to my parents and still nothing was properly sorted- queue mild bridezilla. Very quickly after it was resolved by my Aunty calling to say she would drive my gran's car- and was sorted on the insurance. 

    My Dad would drive my Mum's car later...and Mum was coming with me. A few days later, she was booked to have her eyebrows done (as well as our nails) and needed a patch test and we had to get there before 6. We were due to drive over 200 miles (3.5 hours)...we had 3 hours and 40 minutes til 6...and off we went! 

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride


    We got to the salon just in time for my mum to have a patch test. Then went to find the Airbnb which would be our home for the next week. At least we tired, we went round and round in circles and eventually found it. Then I realised I didn’t know the key lock code as R handled the booking.

    So we sat in the car and shared a sandwich (I didnt Want to eat too much before dinner). Then realised that I had only had a banana for breakfast- no wonder I was starving. The wedding diet ey!

    Soon after R text me the code and we were in. R’s parents, my dad and R all arrived in the next hour and we had pizza to test the evening food.

    It was delicious even if R had a slight oversight on how spicy a pizza called ‘Johnny cash’ could be!

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride


    However long you think it will take, allow double...hell triple. 

    We got to the venue at around 9am on the Wednesday and acknowledged the huge task we'd give ourselves. We started with unloading the van as my parents and later R's parents with the flowers arrived... 



    With hindsight- I wouldn't have unloaded the van immediately as the place needed cleaning, as it's a derelict building, it's prone to dust!

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride

    We set up the chill out area upstairs which was for coats and some seating should people want a slightly different space (easy)

    Started putting candles in their holders

    Put all the flowers in buckets

    Set up the frame and it's flowers...


    And plonked the postbox in the hall

    It felt like we had a fair bit done and most things were waiting for the tables and chairs. I wish we had done more this day/I'd been more organised with a task list and jobs for people as it felt like we wasted some time. But I was happy with what we had done.

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride


    Bathroom baskets I went to wilko to get the bits for the bathroom baskets- some bits got used (and I only really bought stuff that we would use in future) but the bathrooms that were hired in weren’t really suitable for them.

    Ladies- deodorant, plasters, small perfume (just from Zara), nail file, ibuprofen (we didn’t have kids at the wedding), hair grips, mints and some tissues

    Gents- deodorant, tissues, aftershave (Zara), ibuprofen and mints.

    More prep

    Cleaned all the slates, glasses and cutlery. Made all our menus and place names, then ironed all the napkins (FUN, FUN, FUN). 


  • MrsGtoBMrsGtoB Posts: 712 New bride

    Loving this thread!!! And your outfits! x

  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride

    I had forgotten how unusual your venue was, I cant wait to see more of how it looked, you did such a good job finding all the stuff for your ideas. Love the name place leaves too.


  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride

    Thank you ladies, plenty more to come! Leaves were lovingly borrowed from a neighbour 🙈 but woohoo free placenames! 


    Nails and eyelashes

    Oh my god- what a disaster. We used a salon which has great reviews online (and loads of followers) but the services really weren’t up to scratch. They painted my MIL and Mum’s nails and they were terrible- definitely needed a steadier hand (I didn’t see them til later in the day). Mine were fine but I could have done the same myself. The eyelashes looked great but fell out so quickly (the week after the wedding they were basically gone). 


    Drinks for the boys

    We were bringing all our own booze, so thought it would be nice for the boys to have a sneaky toast after the ceremony, rather than use the jam jars that we had for most the drinks, I bought some nice but cheap glasses. I ordered these to the nearest Waitrose to where we were staying (John Lewis but only £1 each and we can use them again). I did however drive 25 mins to Waitrose- pick up mixers and some gf treats for the evening as well as some baklava (we completely forgot to order as planned and I only thought of it when I saw it!).

    I was so excited and distracted I forgot to collect the glasses, so had to have a return trip that evening...*face palm*. Note to self- read your lists...

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride


    I didn't appreciate how busy today was going to be- My Dad arrived back from Gloucestershire at 7am (yep, he left at 4am!) after having to pop back for a few days to see my sick Grandma (she had taken a turn for the worst) and after breakfast and lots of coffee we all set off for the venue. 

    We did so much and at around 6.30pm we finally finished. My bridesmaid was driven to Penryn by a friend as I was running so late that I didn't really have time to collect her from the airport (terrible friend/terrible bride). 

    But we were getting married tomorrow and everything was ready- We were meeting friends (literally over half the wedding turned up to our open invite, so cool!)- I was late...standard. I didn't eat much, had a few gins and then off to bed!


  • I'm loving all of this - warts and all  So exciting to see things coming together in the photos... And I'm SO over excited for my wedding now! (And have resolved to write the most comprehensive plan, timetable, packing list etc etc ever...!)

  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride

    Your venue looks fab, you must have been so pleased with how all your ideas turned out in the end.


  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride

    The wedding day started much much earlier than I ever anticipated...3.18am to be exact. I woke up to commotion downstairs and went to go and see what was happening. My very almost FIL was in horrendous pain, resulting in us calling an ambulance and him going to hospital.

    My mum and brother (the only sober person due to arriving late) went with almost MIL to the hospital. After that, I didn't feel like sleeping much and was worried what to do and how to tell R. I wondered if we could get away with him not finding out until after, but everything was very much up in the air. My Dad, Aunty and I ended up chatting/waiting til 6am for my mum and brother to arrive home, without my almost MIL and FIL as he was in hospital waiting for a scan. 

    I tried to go back to sleep, but unsurprisingly wasn't able to sleep. I got up again around 7.30am to have a quick whip round to make sure the house was tidy for photos (make sure you do this!)...Hairdresser had said she was coming for 9, and videographer was coming around 10.30am. 
  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride
    The morning was a bit of a whirlwind, the hairdresser was about an hour late, I barely managed half a slice of toast (seriously just eat something) and it was chaotic and not the morning I had imagined . Even though our wedding wasn't til 3pm; it still felt like there wasn't enough time due to everything that happened. R's mum arrived back in time to have her hair done; arranging her to be picked up from the hospital 45 mins away by one of R's (and his family) close friend in secret wasn't the easiest but it meant she could tell R his Dad wasn't coming to the wedding. 

    I know people have worse, but after 3 days of helping and R being an only just felt a bit unfair and I know how gutted he would be feeling. 
  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride
    After the hairdresser left, I started my own make up while my bridesmaid (who was an absolute secret hero making coffee for flustered family and helping do the buttonholes which were intentionally left til the morning) helped my Mum. 

    I was feeling/looking tired and it was definitely raining. My make up plan went out the window haha. I did have a white dressing gown but I was more comfortable being fully dressed.

  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride
    Sorry to hear about R's Dad, hope he is on the mend now, look forward to reading more.
  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride
    I'm not sure how to quote any more unless I've missed it? R's Dad is fine now thank you- I will bring him back into my thread after the wedding :)

    Before I knew it my Mum was helping me into my dress (my Mum was the only person that had seen it)- for anyone worried, photographers left, I half put it on to make sure I was covered then they came back in. 
    I really like the photos but wish my Mum was dressed properly! I asked her to but should have insisted- again with everything going on it was all a bit hectic. 

    I put my own shoes on (fiercely independent even in restricted clothing)...Little reminder of what they looked like too- my husband wrote 'You're so cool' on the bottom- hopefully someone gets the reference haha. It's not the prettiest photo of them nor typical bridal but I like them, will wear them again and they were only £20? These were the shoes for dress 1 but most importantly gave me some height! And a little pose, before I went on to open the gifts R had got me. 

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride
    I am the worst wife...(and at this point I wasn't even a wife), doing so much for the wedding, I had bought a few bits for R but nothing substantial. I bought him some fudge (his fave, I hate it), some new socks with his car on- running joke that his car is the third one in the relationship and some beers. The beers were from Union brewery- forever putting in our own subtle hints, called Friday IPA, Neu Black lager (he actually hated this, ironic as I'd yet to find a beer he wouldn't drink previously haha) and Sunday Pale Ale. I also got him a pin which said 'You're so cool' from True Romance (per my comment about him writing on my shoes- meant to be/love the same film) and some wooden round cufflinks. I wrapped everything in the tissue that he gave me to wrap my bridesmaid gift and sent it off with the card in a bag for life with my brother. 

    Ladies- I messed up haha, because I was marrying the sweetest guy ever, who left me this...complete with an engraved plate with the date of our wedding. 

  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride
    When we were planning R learned that it is quite common to swap a small gift before getting married. I didn't realise he was listening, nor did I realise he would take it so seriously. 

    Inside the box was a card, new perfume (I love Viktor and Rolf fragrances so much, so it was so lovely to have a new one), a necklace to wear, a glass (I love flamingos) as well as some gin, and a number of bits to infuse (rose petals, orange peel and juniper berries) and a letter.

    I was already emotional given the events of the week, I was worried about how R was feeling given he knew his Dad wasn't coming and I was worried about the torrential rain that was not looking like it was going to stop. Our venue had beautiful gardens, and all my visions of reception drinks on the lawn had swiftly come crashing down...

    The letter was so beautiful, he's a photographer and generally of few words (compared to me anyway). So here I am on the internet, doing a truly heartfelt and honest ugly cry at the touching letter my almost husband to be wrote to me. At the end he wrote 'So I'll see you at three, unless you're busy eating ice cream or something, then I'll totally understand' harking back to the early days- one of my best excuses for not going on a date!

  • Oh I love your registry wedding with your grandad. Such a beautiful sentiment. And I would definitely celebrate all the anniversaries.

    Gorgeous evening outfit!

    That ring story sounds so much like me. I cannot even imagine how MrM would have reacted if I told him the rings were in my car, after he spent a while in a panic searching for them.

    Sorry to hear that you had to pay for nails you coukd have done yourself.

    I am in love with your venue and what you did with it!

    So sorry to hear about R's dad. It must have been gutting not to have him at the wedding.

    You look fabulous in your dress. Drop dead gorgeous. And that moody feel of your photos!!

    Your husband is so sweet. Such a thoughtful gift! But I think you are being too harsh on yourself. You got him some rule cute thoughtfully things yourself. MrM and I actually agreed not to get each other anything lol
  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride
    Thanks Dandelion :) nice to have some comments haha. We are always so harsh on ourselves, I'm so laid back day to day but the wedding was a new side to me, even though i don't think I 'bridezilla'd' anywhere near as much as I would be reasonably entitled to hehe. 
  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride
    Wow your husband did so well with his gift! those pictures of you reading the letter are gorgeous. Look forward to reading more.
  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride

    As only my Mum had seen my dress, I wanted to do a 'reveal' with my Dad and let everyone else see when I got there. I've always been a Daddy's girl so this was a really special moment.

    For a bit of Dad had left Gloucestershire at 4am on Friday to be in Cornwall for 7...helped us set up all day, found out his Mum/My Grandma had passed away at 6pm. Come out for food and drinks with everyone (he was more drunk then I thought was appropriate for the setting/was acting a bit weird-now I know why!) and stayed out until midnight with a few family friends that had travelled for the wedding, then been woken at 3am with helping R's Dad and not really gone back to sleep either. He was having a rough few days but kept my Grandma's passing quiet from me to let me have my day. 

    The photographer asked if he would cry, and I said the car, I asked him why and he said I looked so much like my Mum...think someone may have told a white lie to protect me!

  • OmRumOmRum Posts: 947 New bride
    So sorry about your grandma. What a sad thing to happen so close to your wedding.

    Your photos are gorgeous and the style suits your dress perfectly.
  • Sian91Sian91 Posts: 829 New bride
    Thanks OmRum- I'm so grateful that my Dad kept it quiet until the next day, it's weird I had a feeling something wasn't right but she wasn't coming to the wedding (for a long time), so I didn't realise she wasn't there. 

    A few more photos...and we were off!

    I  was about 10 minutes late, I would have been on time if between me getting in the car with my flowers and dress in the pouring rain, the car key had not been dropped. My Dad was running round in the rain looking for the key, and I'm yelling 'do you want a hand?' in sheer disbelief that we're about to get married and it's had the nerve to rain. I was also nervous as he was taking me in my own car (I've worked hard for it, didn't really fancy/see the point in a wedding car no one would see) and this was the only key in over 300 miles!

    It was a good job we were late as someone was in a taxi infront of us!? Who are these people!? (Turned out to be R's work colleague who has been royally ribbed for it ever since)
  • MrsGtoBMrsGtoB Posts: 712 New bride
    Oh how sad about your Gran. You looked gorgeous and love your flowers so much xx
  • I am so sorry about your Gran. It must have been difficult for your dad not to say anything. But what a sweetheart for keeping it to himself. You look stunning and I love the pictures of you and your dad
  • Those photos are just stunning, you look so beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss, its so sweet your dad kept it to himself though so you could enjoy your day. He seems like a truly kindhearted man x
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,957 New bride
    Sorry for your loss, and as for your dad....what a man - that's true grit and love for his daughter right there.
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