The Broken Thread - 2019

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Posts

  • KirBeKirBe Posts: 1,158 New bride

    Morning Ladies! How are we all? I still can’t get signed in on my phone or Ipad - it is so frustrating! Especially since work is so busy so I don’t get as much time to reply as I would like!!

    How is everyone?

    We are just plodding along with our weight loss and have had a couple of convos about what we feel our next steps are once we get down to where we need to be. I think we are going to really push to get retested even if we have to pay for it.

    We did get diagnosed with male factor (hubby had really bad results for concentration, morphology and motility) and yes it could potentially be weight and hot tub related, but I don’t want to waste another year or two to find out it wasn’t and we have a genuine issue (can't shake that thought that couples a lot bigger than us get pregnant without even trying!). Neither does hubby – he was actually the one who brought this up and was like as soon as we get where we need to be, or post Florida whichever comes first, he wants to push for another SA! He surprised me because he had such a rough time dealing with the results of the last one that I didn’t know if he would want to go through it again unless he absolutely had to, but he definitely wants to deal with it head on this time. Then he said once we know the situation we can make an informed decision about if we want to try naturally for longer (if we have sorted hubbys other issue - but that is a whole separate scenario) or if we are going forward with getting referred/treatment.

    Fingers crossed for time going quickly and the weight dropping off!

    Married October 2016
    TTC since May 2016

    'Shout out to all of us fighting a battle that most people will never understand'
  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    @KirBe - how weird I was just browsing on here and thinking if I had anything constructive to say - answer being no, nothing is happening my side just awaiting the hysteroscopy and blood test results 

    Good to hear hubby is on board though hun.  FC things are moving in the right direction for you xx
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • KirBeKirBe Posts: 1,158 New bride
    @MrsGB2015 I know what you mean I rarely have anything constructive or remotely exciting to say! Did they say when you would be hearing from them next?

    It is bad but I feel myself just wishing the year away! I want to get on my holiday and then come back and deal with all of this. I am feeling very impatient right now! 
    Married October 2016
    TTC since May 2016

    'Shout out to all of us fighting a battle that most people will never understand'
  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    @KirBe - The hysteroscopy is booked for the 12th Feb but I havent had a letter or anything about it yet - hoping I will get that soon.  After that they said it will probably be end of feb/start of march to come back and discuss results and go from there 

    I know what you mean - I am wishing the days away - just want this hysteroscopy out of the way, then it will be my birthday then hopefully we can get on with our next FET, thats my plan but that never seems to happen! xx
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • BekhaGBekhaG Posts: 584 New bride
    @MrsGB2015 - what does FET mean hun? Are you having recurring implantation failure through natural trying or IVF? Its a never ending nightmare of hurdles isn't it?!!?!

    @KirBe- my hubby has had to deliver 2 SA samples now and he can't even talk about the experience, he found it so upsetting!!! I refrain from telling him he has it easy compared to me as I don't want to diminish his experience and frankly, if I had to come to produce a test sample I'm sure I'd found that really tough too. Luckily his results were great both times. I think there's a lot that can be done to improve sperm quality and its all lifestyle based- quit smoking/ drugs/ scale back drinking, healthy weight, fertility friendly diet (Google- able). I hope he does all he can and sees a positive outcome.

    I'm recovering well from my surgery (touch wood). I've lost over 2.5 stone since last July with around a stone still to go to my IVF weight (hopefully get another loss on the scales tonight), my physical and mental wellbeing feels really high at the moment (my mental health was in the sewer most of last year) and I'm just raring to go with trying again next month. Hoping my period arrives as expected next week and doesn't through any curveballs at me!!!
  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    @BekhaG Sorry hun - FET = Frozen Embryo Transfer.  We are having recurring implantation failure on both fresh ICSI/IVF rounds and our FET, unfortunately the chances of us conceiving naturally are pretty much 0 :( 

    We had our chemical following a fresh round and I am pretty sure I had another following our first FET but cannot prove this, as we didnt make it to test day.

    Thats such a good weight loss hun, well done you!  FC for AF not being a witch and coming on time xx
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • KirBeKirBe Posts: 1,158 New bride
    @BekhaG I know it is so hard sometimes to not say to them 'you think you have it bad!' but it must be a lot of pressure for them to *ahem* 'perform' on demand in a stressful situation. That's the plan he is on the weight loss train now, doesn't smoke, barely drinks so fingers crossed when we do retest everything is much improved. Glad to hear you are doing well both mentally and physically. Fingers crossed AF behaves and you can try again next month! 

    @MrsGB2015 Ooooo so only 3 more weeks! What exactly is a hysteroscopy? I am clued up with most terms but that one has thrown me a little bit! Time always moves so slowly when you want it to speed up!

    xx
    Married October 2016
    TTC since May 2016

    'Shout out to all of us fighting a battle that most people will never understand'
  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    @KirBe - Not too long but like you say time moves too slowly haha!  So, from my factsheet and what I know - its a camera inserted into the womb so they can see whats going on, check for fibroid's or cysts etc, they could take a biopsy to test as well apparently - all fun and games! xx
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • KirBeKirBe Posts: 1,158 New bride
    @MrsGB2015 Ahh okay that makes sense with what has been going on. Fingers crossed you get some answers hun xx
    Married October 2016
    TTC since May 2016

    'Shout out to all of us fighting a battle that most people will never understand'
  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    @KirBe - Thanks hun - its apparently similar to a HyCosy which I found ok just a bit uncomfortable so we shall see if it is or if people have just said that to make me feel better haha! xx
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    So, I have just heard from my consultant's secretary - she needed to book my pre-assessment and luckily enough they have a space on Sunday morning - shocked!  So, I've got that at 10am on Sunday thats one part all done then.

    She did say, we have to refrain from unprotected sex between now and then as we wouldnt want to cancel you on the day.  So, 1 that would be a miracle if something happened and 2 I would 100% rather be cancelled for that reason! But hey I know they have to say it - just made me laugh xx
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • KirBeKirBe Posts: 1,158 New bride
    @MrsGB2015 glad to hear that your getting sorted hun! How funny of her to say that! Know your audience haha! xx
    Married October 2016
    TTC since May 2016

    'Shout out to all of us fighting a battle that most people will never understand'
  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    @KirBe Yes, I feel a bit better now.  I was only saying to hubby last night, oh we havent had a letter yet do you think he's remembered to put it on the system as he only wrote it in his own diary from what I saw on our last appointment - clearly all is in hand just slow like everything! 

    I know but I guess for some couples, if they are unexplained etc it could happen and as a secretary she probably doesnt have all the info, so Ill let her off haha! xx
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • SlopeydopesSlopeydopes Posts: 180 New bride
    Hey everyone. Seems like lots of positive steps happening at the moment. It's really nice to hear. 
    I applied for a job where I used to work and didn't get an interview but am actually OK with it. I feel like the whole time me and hubby have been together we've both been putting everything into work. 
    I've been made permanent at my current job and it's not 100% what I want to do but it means security and maternity leave.
    We viewed a house today and put an offer in, hubby has SA on Saturday next week and I have a week off so no 4am alarm clocks. It all seems to be looking up! 
  • MrsH12MrsH12 Posts: 531 New bride
    MrsG glad you are getting in sooner than expected

    I had my follicle tracking scan results back today, got a dominant follicle on both right and left side so finger crossed one (or both!) get released this cycle Got day 21 bloods on Thursday to see if i did ovulate or not. 
  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    edited 25 January
    @Slopeydopes GL with the house and hubbys SA! xx

    @MrsH12 - Thanks hun - FC nothing to sinister is found!  FC that you ovulate hun - here's hoping to good news all around xx
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • KirBeKirBe Posts: 1,158 New bride
    @Slopeydopes good luck with the house!! It is all so exciting moving. Sending you lots of positive vibes for hubby's SA as well. Enjoy your week off as well! 

    @MrsH12 Fingers crossed for those follicles!

    Love all the positive vibes ladies!

    I am having a bit of a tough day - I didn't lose as much as I would like last night at slimming world (no idea why  as I have been 100%) and it just seems to have sent me off on absolute spiral. Doubting my decision to have an expensive holiday (Should be spending money on the house/saving for maternity/saving for fertility treatments) etc etc. Plus I was in a meeting at work and remember that colleague that got married and then got pregnant instantly and then talked of nothing else for her whole pregnancy and basically got into my head so much I became really depressed and was upset all the time - well she is coming back to work in 2 months. Obviously I knew she was coming back but I think I had blocked it out of my head! My work life has been so much better without her here and to be honest illogically I think I put a lot of my anger about our situation on to her if that makes sense. She got pregnant just as we found out we had problems and it was very hard to deal with - it felt like she was gloating and rubbing it in my face for 9 months (deep down logically I know she wasn't). So I have been trying so hard not to have a meltdown but my anxiety levels are through the roof and I have been fighting not to cry at my desk

    xxx
    Married October 2016
    TTC since May 2016

    'Shout out to all of us fighting a battle that most people will never understand'
  • britbirdbritbird Posts: 1,486 New bride
    hey ladies.  Sorry I have been quiet.  I feel like I am so early into the journey that I don't have much to say.  I just got a call from the hospital, and have got a cancellation with the endocrinologist for Monday.  Apparently they had over 50 people to call after me for the cancellation, so sounds like I was very lucky to get it.  Work were pretty good, considering I have 3 meetings on Monday, including our monthly team meeting, the first visit from a new member of staff from the US, and I am meant to present our budget!  My CEO straight away just said take it, and give your presentation to someone else to do, which was nice.  Am a bit nervous as hubby can't make it. 
  • KirBeKirBe Posts: 1,158 New bride
    @britbird good luck for your appointment hun! Do you have any idea what they will be discussing? Glad your work are being so supportive :) xx
    Married October 2016
    TTC since May 2016

    'Shout out to all of us fighting a battle that most people will never understand'
  • britbirdbritbird Posts: 1,486 New bride
    @KirBe thank you.  They just said it was an initial consultation, and would take around 30 mins.  I am hoping in a way, they will refer me for an MRI, pick up why I have the imbalance, and then I will at least be able to ovulate.  At the moment the high lactose is meaning my progesterone is almost non-existent.  I haven't actually told work it was picked up at a fertility appt, just that I have a hormone imbalance, and that needs urgent sorting.  Luckily generally they are very good.  

  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    @KirBe Sorry you are feeling so down hun.  It is so tough sometimes, dont be so hard on yourself, I know easier said than done.  Come on here and rant away thats what we are all here for hun - sending love and positive vibes your way.

    @britbird - That was lucky hun!  Glad they fitted you in and work are being ok for you.  Good luck for the appointment!

    So, I wanna pick your brains ladies, sorry its not TTC related but I dont have many people to go to about this/a lot of my colleagues are on my social media and would see!!  This is currently slightly hypothetical as there are a lot of unanswered parts still but one of the girls I am friendly with in another department is leaving.  She thinks I should apply for her role, but its something I am not trained in/have knowledge of or experience.  She claims its easy and they would teach me so quick but I heard its only being put out as part time.  If thats the case its no good for me, but if its full time do you think I should give it a shot?

    There is potentially more money and my boss would be more flexible with the treatments etc but I just cant help feeling its all bad timing should the next round work and I do get on so well with my colleague in my department, albeit that my job is pretty rubbish now and we get stuff dumped on us but Id feel bad leaving her, which I know shouldnt sway my potential career steps but I am too nice!! Ekk!! What do you reckon? xx 
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • britbirdbritbird Posts: 1,486 New bride
    @MrsGB2015 Thank you.

    Re the job, I do think you should seriously consider it, if indeed the role is full time.  You have nothing to lose from it
  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    @britbird Thanks hun, I will think about it over the weekend and catch up with HR Monday i think xx
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • MrsTwizbeMrsTwizbe Posts: 3,352 New bride
    Go for the job. Always go for the job 
  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    @MrsTwizbe Thanks hun - I will see what HR says next week - theres a chance they wont consider it being full time/or me with lack of experience but I will put the feelers out xx
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • KirBeKirBe Posts: 1,158 New bride
    @MrsGB2015 I agree definitely go for the job! It is always worth a try and you never know what may happen! 

    xx
    Married October 2016
    TTC since May 2016

    'Shout out to all of us fighting a battle that most people will never understand'
  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    @KirBe Thanks hun - I will have a chat with HR on Monday see if theres any chance they would consider me/full time instead of part time x
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • SlopeydopesSlopeydopes Posts: 180 New bride
    It definitely can't hurt to talk to them about it and see what the options are. What's the worst that could happen. They might be willing to do full time as well because they know you. Never a bad thing
  • MrsGB2015MrsGB2015 Posts: 3,546 New bride
    @Slopeydopes thanks hun. I’m deffo going to ask HR on Monday 

    thanks ladies xx
    Married since June 2015
    TTC since August 2015
    Miracle Baby due April 2020

    "The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow"
  • britbirdbritbird Posts: 1,486 New bride
    So I had my meeting with endocrinology today.  They were running an hour late which is a bit of a pain.  I did think about using my private health insurance originally, but they assured me it would be quick, so I went with the NHS.  I always feel guilty about using the NHS when I don't have to though, but it is so much nicer to not have to sit in a waiting room for over an hour!  Anyway, I was the last person of the day which was good, as I got a lot of time with him, and he was very helpful and gave me a lot of info.  In a way, it didn't help in terms of fertility, as it is to try to resolve the hormone imbalance, but he did agree to push me through quite fast so things can move forward.  I actually have to take some drugs tomorrow night, and then go for a special set of bloods on Wed.  I have to lie down for 45 mins at the hospital, then have bloods without a cuff, so using a canula.  I am a total wimp, so hopefully not too painful!  He also booked me in for an MRI 
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