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My daughter is getting married in a few months. She wants me to be there but and I mean a big but: Her father tried to kill me twice while I was pregnant with her. He didn't want either of us. I'm lucky to have survived the abuse.
She knows about the abuse.
I realize the past is the past but he tried to kill his second wife with a screw driver, he beat up a girlfriend. He is now married again but when he drinks it's horrible, I mean horrible. 
My daughter already told me that everyone will be drinking and getting drunk.  I am scared for my safety. She doesn't want my husband or son attending unless it's under her conditions.
Please, please, help.


  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,957 New bride
    Stick up for yourself. You and your current husband/family come as a package, and if your daughter knows about the awful things her father put you through and has no consideration for your feelings, then be less considerate of hers. I would tell her you will only attend with your husband present and will only sit with your current husband, away from your ex., and will stay for the ceremony and possibly the meal, and will then be leaving as your own personal safety has to be a priority and you don't feel safe in that environment.

     It's a given that people will be drinking at a wedding, but since presumably both your lives have moved on I doubt he's going to be that interested in you now, and like most abusers, probably won't reveal his poor behaviour in front of a lot of other people, if that provides any reassurance.

    However, as a victim of abuse, your daughter really should be putting your feelings ahead of her father's, especially since she knows he's not a very nice person. i'm sorry you've been put in this unpleasant position.
  • Thank you.
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